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Dating and Relationships Presented at the 2011 Penn Stater Transition Conference. July 22, 2011 Christie Gilson-Graves and Robert Graves. Introductions. Name City/place live in. What We Will Cover Today. Ground rules Why consider dating? Values identification
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Dating and Relationships Presented at the 2011 Penn Stater Transition Conference July 22, 2011 Christie Gilson-Graves and Robert Graves
Introductions • Name • City/place live in
What We Will Cover Today • Ground rules • Why consider dating? • Values identification • Things we wish potential partners would keep in mind • Most embarrassing stories • Writing/drawing/speaking/rapping your personal profile
Ground Rules • Confidentiality • no laughing at others • All of us have the right to date, if we choose to. • no making fun of others verbally or by making faces/rolling eyes • no making fun of sexual orientation
Ground Rules • letting everyone communicate • no one should be forced to talk or do anything they do not want to: No means no. • What other rules should we agree on?
Why consider dating? • genuine regard for the other • companionship • status marker/It’s what our peers do. • prom/dance date • sex/It’s fun. • Why else?
Values identification types of People to Date • which gender(s)? • which ages? • which disabilities? • which body types? • which groups of people?
Level of Commitment • friendship only • dating many people • one-night stands/hooking up • short-term fun • serial monogamy • living together • marriage
Life Priorities • Ask one participant to list on a white board what ideas, people, and things are important in their lives. • Ask each participant to list in rank order their top five life priorities.
Things we wish potential Partners would keep in mind • No means no. • safe sex/situations at all times.
The two meanings of compliment/complement • Compliment: to praise • Complement: a harmonious thing that completes something else • Like yourself enough to present a positive image. • Don’t like yourself so much that you perform or never listen to the other person.
The two meanings of compliment/complement • Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. • Spend time on your appearance to show your partner how important they are to you. • Be playful but genuine. • When you goof up, forgive yourself, say you’re sorry, and change your behavior and thinking.
Most embarrassing stories • Christie: talked to guy at dance for 2 hours and had no idea who he was • any other embarrassing stories?
Personal Profile Writing/drawing/speaking/wrapping your personal profile • avatar • nickname • interests • kind of person you are interested in dating/forming a relationship with • Why should someone consider you?: branding yourself • List your wishes. • List your must have’s.
Resources • an adult mentor with your disability • your friends and acquaintances at school or in your community • your local Center for Independent Living • other people with disabilities • parents
Resources • www.disabled-world.com/communication/disabled-dating • www.disabilitydating.com • http://www.whispers4u.com • www.facebook.com