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Applying ACT in your own life Self-care & Self-compassion

Ole Taggaard Nielsen ACBS World Conference 2011. Applying ACT in your own life Self-care & Self-compassion. The ACT approach holds that clinicians must be willing to apply ACT in our own lives in order to deliver the therapy effectively. W hat are we doing too little of ?.

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Applying ACT in your own life Self-care & Self-compassion

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  1. Ole Taggaard Nielsen ACBS World Conference 2011 Applying ACT in yourownlifeSelf-care & Self-compassion

  2. The ACT approach holds that clinicians must be willing to apply ACT in our own lives in order to deliver the therapy effectively

  3. Whatarewedoingtoolittle of ? • Thereseems to be a large disconnectbetween the healthyand compassionatewaywetreatour patients and the manner in whichwetreatourselves • Self-care: The feeling for manyclinicians is thatif I take time out for myselfthis leisure period is not ”time wellspent” • Self-compassion: beingcompassionateare gifts we give to others so beingself-compassionatearesometimesseen as selfish or evensigns of weakness

  4. Whatsufferingmight look like • Loss of vitality • Fatigue and depletion • Burnout • Feelingoverwhelmed • Cynicism • Workaholism • Isolation • Narrowedlifes • Boredom • Confrontation/conflict • Arrogance • Helplessness

  5. Experientialavoidance • ”This periodwillpass. It willgetbettersoon” • ”I’m an experiencedclinicianwhoknowshow to keep stress in the private life out of mywork” • ”None of myclients have complained to me” • Avoid certain problems and “difficult” patients • Refer patients to someone or somewhere else • When applying the therapy: Avoid going into difficult material Change subject, talk about easy topics Make jokes Worry Do less experiential work and more “talk”

  6. Values: what do patients experiencewhentheyare with us ? • --a respectful place where they can share their burdens, worries, anxiety, anger, questions and wonder ? • --or do they feel our sense of exhaustion, our need to be right or in control, our need to be seen as wise and clever or to achieve ?

  7. Lack of self-care - Whatare the costs? • We run a risk of depletion, loosingperspective and burn out ifwe do not focus om activitiesthattrulyrenewus ”Any idiot can face a crisis-it’sthisday-to-daylivingthatwearsyou out” Anton Chekhov (Russian short-story writer)

  8. Gettingintoselfcare • Identifyavoidance and show up to the ongoingchallengesand stressors • Commit to selfcaremoves • Focus is on activitiesthatincreasesflexibility • Noone model exits: therearemanydifferentways to practiceself-care • Differences mayrelate to personalhistory, genderand stage of life etc.

  9. Someexamples of Self-caremoves • Quiet walks by yourself • Little meditative periods (waiting for something, a cancellation of a session, a brief illness) are opportunities for a quiet, reflective, peaceful time • Time and space for meditation • Reading – spiritual, fiction, biographies • Some light exercise • Opportunities to laugh in the company of cheerful friends • A hobby • Listening to music you enjoy

  10. The issue • Are we able to sit with ourselves in the same way that we wish to be with our clients who turn to us for help ?

  11. Compassion • from Latin: "co-suffering" • “Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed”. - The Buddha

  12. Self-compassion (1) • Having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others • To have compassion for others you must notice that they are suffering • Compassion involves feeling moved by others' suffering so that your heart responds to their pain (to “suffer with”). When this occurs you feel warmth, caring, and the desire to help the suffering person in some way • Having compassion also means that you offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them • Finally, when you feel compassion for another (and not as seen in pity) it means that you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection is part of the shared human experience

  13. Self-compassion (2) • Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I care for myself in this moment? • Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans

  14. Contact info: Ole Taggaard Nielsen www.psykologotn.dk

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