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Familial Roles. Think about the families we’ve studied in Modern Lit – they are all fractured and each character plays a distinct ROLE. The roles were first recognized in families of alcoholics. They have since been identified in just about every other dysfunctional family dynamic as well.
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Familial Roles • Think about the families we’ve studied in Modern Lit – they are all fractured and each character plays a distinct ROLE. • The roles were first recognized in families of alcoholics. They have since been identified in just about every other dysfunctional family dynamic as well. • Roles that functioned satisfactorily as coping mechanisms in the original family simply do not work in adulthood, when all the interpersonal relationships change. If they aren't altered, they destroy happiness and peace.
HEROThe fixer-upper, the glue man. On the outside, the hero is acknowledged as the trustworthy, conscientious, mature, capable kid. • SCAPEGOAT“Black sheep” • Obviously someone is to blame, and the scapegoat feels that they deserve to be punished for this mess. Besides, when s/he takes the blame s/he also gets attention.
ENABLERIf it weren't for the enablers, a family's dysfunction could not long exist. The tragedy is that the enablers can't grasp that fact. • lies to the boss for him when he calls in sick • bails him out of scrapes and sometimes out of jail itself • cleans up messes, both physical and situational, that are constantly being made. • VICTIMOh, poor victim – s/he didn't ask for any of this. The victim could be happy if only all this weren't happening. True victims usually do not perceive themselves as victims in this intensely self-pitying sense.
PERSECUTORPersecutor says, "It's all your fault!" • Lays blame everywhere but on self. • Tells all family members exactly what they are doing wrong and why they have not achieved perfection. • PLACATEREven a very small child can adopt the placater role. • Placater is going to make it all better somehow. • Knows what words to say to reassure siblings, soothe Mom, get around Dad. • Born negotiator: recognizes in advance the waves that might rock the family boat and tries to still them; may even use an occasional white lie to keep the family friction to a minimum.
MASCOTblack sheep with a white reputation • family clown • the grinning little guy who makes the tension bearable with his zany humor is sadder inside than any other family member. – A sad clown • MARTYRWill pay any personal price to alleviate the family situation. • Sacrifices time, energy, and happiness to keep family together • Will stick it out for a hundred years and go to any extent to make things work out right. By "right" the martyr means "the way the martyr wants them to." • Will burn out or go nuts or both in trying to achieve this
RESCUER * salvage the situation, whatever it is * will get a second job to pay the bills * will bail out the dependent, hire the attorney, pay the estranged teen-aged child's rent, do the jobs that would otherwise go undone.
Think of people in your family or even your friends. Looking at the various descriptions of the Familial Roles you’ve just taken notes on, apply TWO different roles to TWO different people you know. Explain why they fall into this role. Offer examples when possible.
Example • Enabler: My aunt is the typical enabler b/c she completely enables my cousin Casey who is 32 years old. He still lives at home with his girlfriend in the basement, doesn’t pay rent, and my aunt doesn’t ever say anything about it. She makes excuses for him and doesn’t expect much of him.
