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Oh No. . . What Do I Say to THIS?

Oh No. . . What Do I Say to THIS?. Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries – Probe.org Suebohlin.com. Relating Our Faith to Tough Questions in Our Culture. “True for you, not true for me” “My husband uses porn” “Is porn grounds for divorce?” “Is cybersex really cheating?”

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Oh No. . . What Do I Say to THIS?

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  1. Oh No. . . What Do I Say toTHIS? Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries – Probe.org Suebohlin.com

  2. Relating Our Faith to Tough Questions in Our Culture • “True for you, not true for me” • “My husband uses porn” • “Is porn grounds for divorce?” • “Is cybersex really cheating?” • “How do I treat someone who’s gay?” • “What’s so wrong with same-sex marriage?” • “A lesbian co-worker is having a baby”

  3. “True for You, Not True for Me” • Jesus – faithful monogamy – priorities – coffee flavors • Absolute truth vs. personal preference: 2 different categories • Classical definition of truth: what corresponds to reality • New definition: whatever works for you (The Emperor’s New Clothes!)

  4. “True for You, Not True for Me” • Truth as “whatever works” • Gravity doesn’t work for me • “Red means stop” doesn’t work for me • “$1 = one dollar” doesn’t work for me • “Jesus as the only way to God” doesn’t work for me • Open marriage works for me • Making my own spirituality works for me

  5. “True for You, Not True for Me” • “Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.” --City of Angels • The question is not “Does it work?” but “Is it true?” • Who gets to define reality? The Creator of reality

  6. “My Husband Uses Porn” • It feels like an indictment on you, but it has nothing to do with you. • Compartmentalization of the male brain • Spiritual warfare: • Easy access 24/7 • No fear of rejection • No work (no relationship) • Brain chemistry (substance abuse)

  7. “My Husband Uses Porn” • Ask him: “Would you be hurt if I had an affair with a man? That’s what it feels like. Betrayal and pain.” • Pornography is mental adultery. • “. . .but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matt. 5:28

  8. “My Husband Uses Porn” • Resources: • Every Man’s Battle Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker • SettingCaptivesFree.com The Way of Purity online course (free) • Boundaries in Marriage Henry Cloud, John Townsend • Accountability is key

  9. “Is Porn Grounds for Divorce?” • What is God’s heart? (not the cold measuring rod of a verse) • God hates divorce: it tears apart adult hearts and children’s hearts • Purpose of divorce: grace for one in bondage to a hard-hearted spouse [Jesus] said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.” Matt 19:8

  10. “Is Porn Grounds for Divorce?” • Some people are looking for an excuse, a loophole • God doesn’t do loopholes • He judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart

  11. “Is Cybersex Really Cheating?” • Good definition of an affair: secret intimacy • Would your husband be OK with what you were doing if he sat next to you at the computer? • Whether you’re married or not, aren’t you being sexual with someone you’re not married to? All sex outside of marriage is sin.

  12. “How Do I Treat Someone Who’s Gay?” • Understand: Wounded and deceived • Scars of rejection • How would Jesus treat them? "A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish;” Is 42:3 • Brokenness manifests in a variety of ways • Jesus’ love is what they need to heal and grow

  13. “How Do I Treat Someone Who’s Gay?” • You can accept and bless a person without blessing their brokenness • Make a distinction between the person and their behavior • The grace of acceptance is the safety net that allows us to try something new and frightening, like considering leaving a gay life.

  14. “What’s So Wrong with Gay Marriage?” • Look at the big picture: what’s marriage for? • Provides a safe, stable environment to grow a family (basic social unit) • Natural outgrowth of the complementarity of male and female • Earthly picture of the mystical union of Christ and the Church

  15. “What’s So Wrong with Gay Marriage?” • Homosexual relationships and heterosexual marriages are not equal and parallel relationships • “A façade of normalcy” • Gay marriage is a way to secure society's legitimization and approval of their relationships

  16. “A Lesbian Couple is Having a Baby” • The baby comes first • “Every child should be welcomed and valued” • Celebrate the baby: the circumstances of conception are not his/her fault

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