FAMILY LIFE CYLCE Child Development

1. FAMILY LIFE CYLCE Child Development Stage 1 Singles/ Individuals Stage 2 Marriage Stage 3 Childbearing Stage 4 Parenting Stage 5 Launching/ Teens Stage 6 Middle Years Stage 7 Senior Years

2. Stage 1 Single/Individual • Emotional changes from relying on family to emotional and financial responsibility to oneself. • Beginning to find oneself and develop own beliefs and ideas. May reject family values and belief. • Teens developing intimate peer relationships on a deeper level than before.

3. Stage 2 Marriage PREDICTION OF SUCCESS: Until death do us part: Not a fact for most marriages. What age is best to get married? • 24-30 Youthful marriages • Up to age 30, the older you are at marriage the greater likelihood of marital happiness and success • Teens have highest divorce rates • After age 30 higher divorce rate than 20-30.

4. Prediction of Marital Success • Education = income, insight, status • Length of engagement • Childhood environment & relationship with family. • Divorced parents may cause a shying away from marriage. • Loving each other did not have affect on whether or not they fought. • HONEYMOON EFFECT: Overlooking problems. Reality vs. idealized relationship.

5. PREDICTION OF SUCCESS FACTORS • Communicates well • Resolve conflict in a constructive way • Realistic expectations of marriage • Like each other as people (opposites attract doesn’t work) • Undesirable traits are magnified in marriage • Agree on religion & ethical issues • Spend leisure activities/time with each other

6. Why have an engagement? • Reduces anxiety about marriage. • Gives couple time to mature and break from family. • Make sure partner is right person.

7. What’s the secret to a happy marriage? • When the couple met they felt immediately at home with each other. Friendship was immediate. There is a strong physical and/or emotional attraction. • Happy couples have similar values and beliefs, but embrace each other’s differences. • Happy couples have trust

8. Happily Married • Happy couples usually describe their mate as their best friend. They like each other very much, above all others. They spent a lot of time together. • Happy couples share a life dream. They work together to make the dream come true. • Happy couples don’t hold a grudge. High capacity to resolve conflict and move on.

9. HAPPILY MARRIED continued… • Happy couples roll with the changes. People do change and good marriages change too. • Happy couples agree to have or not to have children. Couples agree on whether or not to have children. • Happy couples understand the importance of sex & romance. Friendship was more important than sex but sex was the strong force binding them together through the years.

10. Essentials of a good marriage • Marriage is priority, even over the kids • They are united in their parenting • Fidelity and commitment!!! • Unselfishness • Each person is important • Time spent together • Couple time is sacred • Good Communication • Respectful to each other

11. STAGE 3 - CHILDBEARING • Adjusting to becoming a family or increased family size. • Caring for an infant (Wow it’s tough!) • Providing a positive developmental environment and learning to be a parent. • Making sacrifices • Adjusting to having less couple time.

12. STAGE 4 - Parenting • Caring for Children • Coping with demands on energy and attention with less privacy at home. • Increasing need to make sacrifices for children and family • VERY stressful time for parents.

13. STAGE 4 – Parenting Continued Family importance: • Promoting educational achievement • Fitting in the community of families with school-age children • Supporting children’s interests (attend events!)

14. STAGE 5 – Launching/ Teens (When the oldest child is between the ages of 13 and 20) • Allowing and helping children to become more independent • Coping with their independence • Developing new interests beyond child care

15. STAGE 6 – MIDDLE AGE MARRIAGES • Parents more likely to divorce at this time. Parents who stayed together just for the children feel free to move on. • Empty Nest Syndrome • Boomerang generation: Children return home due to high unemployment, housing cost, low wages, divorce and personal problems. • Parents may become grandparents at this time. • Parents may have to care for their own parents (grandparents)

16. STAGE 7 - LATER LIFE • Grand parenting • Retirement • How will you live your life once your family is grown? • What will you do when you don’t have a job to go to every day? • Many people look forward to their “Golden Years” Question: Does parenting end when children are grown & gone?

17. GRANDPARENTING • Grandparents = distance is biggest factor in amount of involvement • 25% of preschool children cared for by grandparents • Grandparent experience the joys of children without all of the responsibilities

18. Stage Review • Stage 1 (18-21 yrs) Developing autonomy and becoming independent • Stage 2 (22-28 yrs) Developing intimacy & occupational identification. May marry at this time. • Stage 3 (29-31 yrs) Most likely to become parents at this time. • Stage 4 (32-39 yrs) Deepening commitments; pursuing more long-range goals and parenting. • Stage 5 (40-42 yrs) Parenting transitioning into launching. • Stage 6 (43-59 yrs) Re-establishing marital relationship/empty nest • State 7 (60+ yrs) Dealing with aging while retaining zest for life. Grand parenting.