Coming Apart: Separation and Divorce

1. Coming Apart: Separation and Divorce Chapter 13

2. Chapter Outline The Meaning of Divorce Divorce in the US Factors Affecting Divorce The Process of Separation Consequences of Divorce Children and Divorce Child Custody What to Do about Divorce

3. The Meaning of Divorce • Legal Meaning • Fault- Based Divorce • a person alleges that his or her spouse is responsible for the failed marriage through such actions as adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, mental cruelty, habitual drunkenness, and desertion. • No-Fault Divorce • the couple can divorce without either having to accuse the other or prove the other responsible for the failure of their marriage. They can simply claim that irreconcilable differences make it impossible for them to continue as married

4. The Realities of Divorce • Stations of Divorce • Emotional Divorce • When one or both spouses disengages from the marriage • Legal Divorce • The court-ordered termination of a marriage • Economic Divorce • The dividing of property, money, and resources • The Coparental Divorce • Deals with issues of child custody, visitation, and support • The Community Divorce • The juggling of ex-in-laws and friends • The Psychic Divorce • When one again feels like a separate individual

5. Divorce in the US • Ratio Measure of Divorce • Calculating the ratio of marriages to divorces in a given year to identify the commonality of each • Crude Divorce Rate • The number of divorces in a giver year per 1,000 people • Refined Divorce Rate • The number of divorces in a giver year per 1,000 marriages • Predictive Divorce Rate • An estimate of how many new marriages will end in divorce

6. Both marriage and divorce rates have fallen in the last 30 years.

7. Societal Factors Affecting Divorce • Changed Nature of the Family • Production has moved from the home to the factory making the family a non-essential unit • Social Integration • The degree of interaction between individuals and the larger community can affect the rate of divorce. • Individualistic Cultural Values • Society views individual happiness over that of the family.

8. Demographic Factors Affecting Divorce • Employment • Low-status occupations have higher divorce rates than those in high-status occupations. • Income • The higher the family’s income, the lower the divorce rate. • Educational Level • Those with higher education tend to have lower divorce rates. • Ethnicity • African Americans have the highest rates of divorce. • Religion • A high frequency of religious attendance lowers the risk of divorce.

9. Life Course Factors Affecting Divorce • Age at Time of Marriage • The younger one gets married, the higher the risk of divorce. • Premarital Pregnancy and Birth • Becoming pregnant or giving birth prior to marriage increase the likelihood of divorce. • Cohabitation • Cohabiting prior to marriage increases the risk of later divorce. • Remarriage • The divorce rate for remarriages is higher than for first marriages. • Intergeneration Transmission • Person’s whose parents are divorced have greater odds of divorcing themselves.

10. Family Processes • Marital Happiness • Low levels of happiness in the early years of marriage increase the risk of divorce. This risk decreases as the marriage goes on • Children • Couples who have children decrease their risk of divorce. • Marital Problems • Problems can arise due to infidelity, alcohol or drug abuse, growing apart, in-laws, and communication troubles. • Serve as proximal causes of later divorce – things that are present in daily life that raise the probability of divorce • Also serve as distal causes – those things that each person brings to the relationship (i.e. education, income, religion, etc.)

11. The Process of Separation • Moving towards divorce is a process, not a single event. • This process is referred to as ‘uncoupling.’ • Initiator • One person who is unable to find happiness in the relationship and initiates the end of the relationship. • Separation Distress • Distress caused by the absence of one’s spouse. • Each person must create a new identity apart from the ‘couple’ identity. He /She must transition into a new routine and recover from his/her distress. • Many find that dating new people helps eliminate separation distress.

12. Consequences of Divorce • Economic • No-fault divorce laws systematically impoverish women and children. • Women usually gain custody of children following a divorce and are therefore responsible for their economic stability. • Triple consequences of age, gender, and ethnicity. • Alimony • A monetary payment a former spouse makes to the other to meet his/her economic needs. • Child Support • A monetary payment made by the non-custodial parent to the custodial to assist in child-rearing expenses. • Employment opportunities for divorced women are often constrained by the necessity of caring for children.

13. Consequences of Divorce • Non-economic • Compared to married persons divorced individuals experience: • Higher levels of depression • Lower levels of mental and physical health • Lower levels of happiness • Increased social isolation • Greater difficulty raising children • Less satisfying sex lives • Higher levels of personal growth • Greater autonomy

14. Children and Divorce • Slightly more than half of all divorces involve children. • Binuclear Family • The family parents create when they divorce making their children part of two households • Children’s reaction to news of a divorce depends on how that news is disclosed. • Three Stages of Divorce for Children • Initial Stage • Extremely stressful • Transition Stage • Restructuring the family • Restablization Stage • Economic and social changes have been incorporated into everyday life

15. Children and Divorce • Following a divorce, children face several developmental tasks: • Acknowledging parent’s separation • Disengaging from parental conflicts • Resolving loss • Resolving anger and self-blame • Accepting the finality of divorce • Achieving realistic expectations for later relationship success

16. Children and Divorce • Long-term effects of divorce on children • Reduction of family income • Many children experience weakened ties with their fathers • Reduced school performance • Increased chances of dropping-out • Worsened and increased behavioral problems • Increased likelihood of becoming a teen parent • Not all children of divorced parents experience these consequences.

17. Child Custody • Custody of children is awarded to mothers in 90% of cases. • Types of custody • Sole Custody • The child lives with one parent who has sole responsibility for making all decisions regarding his or her upbringing • Split Custody • The children in the family are divided between the divorcing parents • Joint Custody • Joint Legal Custody – child lives with one parent but both parents share decision-making • Joint Physical Custody – child actually lives with both parents, splitting time between households

18. Child Custody • Noncustodial parent involvement exists on a continuum in terms of caregiving, decision making, and parent–child interaction, from highly involved to completely removed. • Mandatory Visitation • Rather than award or grant visitation rights to noncustodial parents, we should treat visitation as an obligation of parents and an expectation to be enforced by authorities • Divorce Mediation • The process in which a mediator attempts to assist divorcing couples in resolving personal, legal, and parenting issues in a cooperative manner • Has the goal of promoting shared parenting rather than focusing solely on legal matters

19. What to Do about Divorce Some have argued that instituting no-fault divorce laws have made divorce too easy to obtain and advocate for stricter laws. Others have argued that we should re-stigmatize divorce to lessen its social acceptability. Still others have suggested that we offer more support to two-earner households and to low-income families to ease stresses. Yet, if we can’t reduce or eliminate divorce we should at least do what we can to protect those going through divorce, especially children.