The Power to Make a Behavior Change… Become Resilient

2. The Power to Make a Behavior Change…Become Resilient Stephanie A. LaPlant, BS, MA Wellness Coordinator

3. Outline • Stages of Change • Resilience • Define our Sharks • Add a little humor • Becoming a Master

4. The Waking I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.I learn by going where I have to go. We think by feeling. What is there to know?I hear my being dance from ear to ear.I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. Of those so close beside me, which are you?God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,And learn by going where I have to go. Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. Great Nature has another thing to doTo you and me, so take the lively air,And, lovely, learn by going where to go. This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.What falls away is always. And is near. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke~

6. Stages of Change • Precontemplation: • No intention to change in the foreseeable future. • Contemplation: • Aware that a problem exists and are seriously thinking about making some changes, but no commitment to action. • Preparation: • Intending to make changes in the next month and have not made any changes over the past year. • Action: • Individuals modify their behavior, experiences, or environment in order to overcome the problem. • Maintenance: • Work to prevent relapse and consolidate the gains attained during action.

9. Resilience • Definition: The ability to bounce back (recover) when hit with unexpected demands. Take things in stride. The most resilient people recover from traumatic experiences stronger, better, and wiser. • Resilience is essential in today's world. • Workplace: feels pressured to get more work done, of higher quality, with fewer people, in less time, with less budget. • Personal lives things are changing so rapidly everyone must learn how to be change proficient, cope with unexpected setbacks, and overcome unwanted adversities.

10. The Five Levels of Resiliency • Maintaining Your Emotional Stability, Health, and Well-Being • Essential to sustaining your health and energy • Focus Outward: Good Problem Solving Skills • Focus outward on the challenges to be handled, not emotionally • Focus Inward: Strong Inner "Selfs" • Strong self-esteem, self-confidence, and positive self-concept • Well-Developed Resiliency Skills • Attributes and skills in resilient people • The Talent for Serendipity • What is possible at the highest level of resiliency; the ability to convert misfortune into good fortune

11. When faced with adversity it is useful to remember that: • Your mind and habits will create either barriers or bridges to a better future. • Resiliency can't be taught, but it can be learned. It comes from working to develop your unique combination of inborn abilities. • The struggle to bounce back and recover from setbacks can lead to developing strengths and abilities that you didn't know were possible.

13. What is hardiness? • Nature teaches us that what flourishes are those plants and animals that are the hardiest  -- the ones that are sturdy, resilient, tenacious and flexible. • While we often think of the Oak as the epitome of strength, it is the willow and the reed that survive the storms. • When the challenges and hard times of life are encountered, the hardy do well.

14. Hardiness “Power mindset and internal resources that inspire.” Efficacy - I can Control - Influence Commitment - Fully engaged

15. Hardiness and Resilience • Plans for the future • Think & live in the moment • Learn from past mistakes and incorporates effective strategy • Spends 20% of time on problem • Invests 80% on solution • Leverages self efficacy and seeks resources

16. Hardiness and Resilience • Turns lemons into lemonade • Knows feelings and makes them work • Persistence in the face of consistent obstacles, disappointment, discouragement, loss’ of all kinds • Re-channel energy

18. Burnout – 4 Stages 1. Physical, Mental and Emotional Exhaustion. -Doing more with less, having plenty of responsibility but not enough authority, or juggling an unmanageable schedule is taking a toll. -Begin looking for shortcuts, if not cutting corners. And this gnaws at your self-esteem. There may even be pangs of guilt. -A case of the "brain strain" is developing, accompanied by an energy shortage and feelings of exhaustion. 2. Shame and Doubt. -A supervisor (or professor) asks you to take on a new assignment. You want to...but this voice inside silently screams, "Who are you kidding!" -You're not feeling confident about the future; and you're feeling pretty lousy in the present. Not surprisingly, you may even start discounting your past accomplishments. -And then you catch yourself emitting heavy, labored sighs.

19. Burnout - Stages 3. Cynicism: -There's only one thing left to do: put on the heavy armor. They develop an ATTITUDE: "Look out for # 1." "Cover your derriere But this hard exterior can eventually become a burdensome, self-defeating strategy. -Being a team player doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your integrity or health. Setting realistic limits is not a negative reflection on your work ethic or your ability to go the extra mile. Without boundaries, that mile often morphs into a marathon. 4. Failure, Helplessness and Crisis. Being caught in a familiar "Catch-22" often signals the final phase: "Damned if you do, damned if you don't." "Damned if you stay, damned if you leave." -Your coping structure seems to be coming unglued. The crisis smoke signals are billowing big time. Why is that? Burnout is like trying to race a marathon - full speed, nonstop. -In fact, one reason the fourth stage is so disorienting is that a person's psychological defenses have worn down. Cracks start appearing in the defensive armor. -A slight or an emotional bump can set off an overly sensitive and personal reaction.

21. Workload Remedies • Optimize time management • Ask supervisor for guidance in prioritizing and reassessing workload • Set appropriate boundaries around time • Practice saying “no” when appropriate • Seek help for workaholism, perfectionism, and other “isms”

22. Workload Remedies • Boundaries: Set un-interruptible • Handle the most difficult task first • Be aware of your body and minds peak functioning time

23. Technological Tether • Limit access to email • Plan a way to limit personal cell use • Set boundaries with laptop - limit weekend and vacations

24. Individual Remedy • Lifestyle Practices • Emotional Competence • Personality and Attitude-Pessimism, Worry, Negativity, Perfectionism

25. Most Common Sharks Shark #1: Chronic rushing & running Late Shark #2: Over-commitment & poor boundaries Shark #3: Critical and adversarial relationships Shark #4: Imbalanced sleep

26. Sharks Continued Shark #5: Unresolved anger & resentment Shark #6: Not enough play & restoration Shark #7: Excessive caffeine, fat, sugar & carbohydrates Shark #8: Excessive clutter

27. Test your sense of humor Rate it on a scale of 1-10

28. Caffeine You know you are drinking too much coffee when: 1. You are employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work their 2. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee 3. Your are so wired you can recharge your cell phone just by holding in your hand 4. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale 5. The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you (make you a poster child) 6. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil

29. Keep Laughing…….

30. Become a Master…

31. Master of Change What stage of change are you in? • How important is it to change? • Scale of 1 to 10 • Painful, life threatening, cost prohibitive • Incentive/motivation/attachment • Pro’s & Con’s of Change/No Change

32. Master of Change • Be committed • Be accountable • Have a plan of action • Have plenty of resources

33. Master of the Body • Physical Body Weight, blood pressure…know your numbers. • Nutrition • Sleep • Benefits of exercise

34. Master of Time • Pace of Life • Technology sets the pace • Time Management • Write down everything you have to do • Determine top three • How do you determine urgent? • Add 15 minutes to everything you do

35. Master of Time • Get honest and realistic about how much time it takes • Avoid multi-tasking • Reduce the rush factor • Set time boundaries family, projects, exercise • Set boundaries around email, cell phone, tv, computer

36. Master of Time • America’s master mistake: “We get busy, then cut those things that restore, replenish, renew, rejuvenate” ~Neal For example: too much to do…exercise or taking time to sit down and eat a healthy meal.

37. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Confucius

38. Be Resilient, Embrace Change Thank You!