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“I’m Dating”. THERE IS A RIGHT AND WRONG WAY TO DATE. What Should I Know?. A healthy dating relationship consist of 2 individuals who have mutual respect for one another (they like each other) Make sure the person you want to date likes you in return (Otherwise potential for embarrassment)
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“I’m Dating” THERE IS A RIGHT AND WRONG WAY TO DATE
What Should I Know? • A healthy dating relationship consist of 2 individuals who have mutual respect for one another (they like each other) • Make sure the person you want to date likes you in return (Otherwise potential for embarrassment) • Be aware and advised that not all students will be excited about your new dating status (This can sometimes result in jealousy, envy or strife in friendships)
Ingredients for a Healthy Relationship • Value - beliefs, ideas, background and wishes • Respect- likes, dislikes, differences and choices • Consider the other person - you’re not in the relationship alone (their opinion counts as well as yours)
Dating Is…… • The social practice of getting to know someone you like and are attracted to • An extension of a special friendship • A way to learn more about a person
Dating Is… • An expression of the beginning stages of young adulthood • An event that can occur at various stages in life • Is usually temporary “NOT” intended to be permanent! No matter how strong your feelings are • Is “NOT” a promise of marriage (which is intended to be permanent)
Dating Safety Tips • Group dating • Double dating • Dating at home with parents/guardian near by • Inviting a good friend to tag along • Have the date planned & know what you’re going to do; ensure you both agree; NO surprises!
Safety Tips • Leave if you are uncomfortable • Trust your instincts • Use good judgment
Safety Tips • Be sure a parent/guardian or good friend knows your plans and what time to expect you home • Be aware that using drugs or alcohol decrease your ability to make wise/good decisions • Be firm and straightforward in your relationships, assert yourself. (NEVER allow anyone to convince you to do something dangerous, illegal or against your values)
Keep in Mind… • Getting to know someone takes time (that’s what dating is all about) • Spending too much alone time w/someone you don’t know could present problems later • Know what you will and will not accept in a dating relationship
Healthy Relationships • What is acceptable? • How do I know if my partner has crossed the line? • How do I know if I am a victim?
It can happen to Anyone… “I didn’t cause this, I didn’t do it. This happened to me and it could happen to anybody.” -Rihanna
“What could I possibly have said to make him hit me and do this?” -Rihanna
“It was confusing for me, I was still attached by love but I wasn’t thinking about the reality of the situation.” -Rihanna
“I knew he felt really bad about doing it, I just didn’t know if he understood the extent of what he really did.” -Rihanna
In February 2009, R&B singer Rihanna became a victim of dating violence. Today she has talked about her story to help other dating violence victims.
Dating Statistics • 1 in 3 high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship • 40% of girls (14-17) say they know someone who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend • Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners
Dating Statistics • In 1995, 7% of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends • 20% of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship • Most reported dating violence is typically towards the female, however males can also be victims of teen dating violence
Teen Relationship Violence is a REAL fact of life The following teens give their account of teen dating relationship gone WRONG
Warning SignsThat your date may eventually become abusive • Extreme jealousy • Controlling behavior • Quick involvement • Unpredictable mood swings • Alcohol and/or drug use • Explosive anger • Isolates you from friends and family • Uses force during arguments • Owns/uses weapons • Refuses to let you end the relationship
Warning Signs • Verbally abusive (calls you names) • Verbal put downs about you or family • Blames you when he or she treats you badly (it’s your fault they act the way they do) • Does not take responsibility for their own behavior • Tells you who to talk to, what to wear, where you can go and who you can hang out with
What should I do? What can I do if I feel my dating relationship is or may become abusive: • Trust your instincts • Seek out a trusted adult (always best to inform a parent/guardian) • Call the police if you are alone w/the person and they are physically abusive • Inform the SRO, principal or counselor at your school
Helping a FriendWhat should you do if you know someone in an abusive relationship? • Don’t ignore it, talk with your friend • Express your concerns, provide support-don’t judge • Encourage friend to confide in a trusted adult • Never put yourself in the middle of a dangerous situation. Call 911 if you witness an assault. If you suspect abuse, tell a trusted adult (school counselor, SRO, principal)
Things to Remember about Dating • Works best w/parental involvement • Not designed to be a permanent • A time of getting to know someone and have safe fun • Should be a relationship of mutual RESPECT
YOU have the right to be RESPECTED in every RELATIONSHIP! I have the right to…. • Be treated with respect always • My body, thoughts, opinions, and property • Choose and keep my friends • Change my mind at any time • Not be abused-physically, emotionally, or sexually • Leave a relationship • Say no • Be treated as an equal • To disagree • To live without fear
Helpful ResourcesTO REPORT OR GET ADVICE ABOUT TEEN DATING VIOLENCE • Helpful resources: (to report or get advice about teen dating violence) • DHS.CaresAbout.Us (it’s reserved just for you) • www.txssc.txstate.edu/healthyteendating.org • National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) • 1-866-SAFEYOUTH (1-866-723-3968) • Friends of the Family 1-800- 572-4031 • School counselors and staff
Anonymous Reporting System for DHS Students • DHS.CaresAbout.Us (Please click on picture below.)
Acknowledgements • Denton ISD Counseling Department • Friends of the Family • National Domestic Violence Hot Line • Healthy Teen Dating (txssc.txstate.edu) SAFE Dating = Healthy Dating