Coping with Emotionally Charged Situations

1. Coping with Emotionally Charged Situations Presented by: Dr. Adrienne Pasek

2. Outline of the day • Navigating emotions • Perceptions, feelings, absolutes • Communication • Ten Commandments for resolving conflict • Neutrality • Techniques for disagreeing without taking a position • Negotiating • Finding common ground

3. Navigating emotions • Perceptions • Feelings • Absolutes

4. Perceptions • Reality is just a perception • Combination of beliefs, values, experiences • Purple horses

5. Six Universal Feelings Anger Disgust Fear Happiness Sadness Surprise

6. ABSOLUTES Things will happen that you cannot control You cannot change that which is out of your control The only change you can make is within yourself and Things will happen that you cannot control

7. Communication Speaking Conveys meaning + Listening Interpretation of what was heard

8. Communication research • 7% of meaning is derived from the spoken word • 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way the words are spoken) • 55% of meaning is derived from facial expression

9. SCHEMAS Underlying cognitive structures and rules that consist of core beliefs and that determine how we codify, categorize, interpret experiences Develop early in life Beck, (1967, 1984)

10. DYSFUNCTIONAL SCHEMAS impair reality and the ability to think reasonably

11. Resolving Conflict • Shifting perspective • Allowing for different perceptions

12. More Rules of Engagement Behavior is an outward expression of feelings/thoughts/perceptions

13. Rules of Engagement What is purpose of message? (why do I need to know this?) –informational, educational, personal, What do you need me to feel? (universal feelings)

14. Neutrality • Techniques for disagreeing without taking a position

15. Negotiation • Finding Common Ground • Sandbox 101