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SNAPSHOTS!. Snapshot Example Like taking a picture, describe what you see when you look at a person, place, or thing. “My Uncle Gary, the auto mechanic, stood leaning against his yellow GTO. He was wearing an Eagles sweatshirt and blue jeans, and he had one ankle crossed over the other.”
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Snapshot Example • Like taking a picture, describe what you see when you look at a person, place, or thing. • “My Uncle Gary, the auto mechanic, stood leaning against his yellow GTO. He was wearing an Eagles sweatshirt and blue jeans, and he had one ankle crossed over the other.” • Then, ZOOM IN, just like you do with a camera, on some part of the picture you’ve already painted. • “The arms of the sweatshirt were pushed up toward his elbows, and his arms were bare as he crossed them in front of him. Uncle Gary had pushed his sunglasses up onto the top of his head.” • ZOOM IN one more time, trying to capture something special about him. • “To keep the sun from his eyes, he had his chin tilted back. ‘How’s my favorite niece?”, he asked, squinting and smiling at me all at the same time.” • If you can, ZOOM IN one more time. • “When I ran to give him a hug, he swooped me up and twirled me around. He smelled like fresh air, and he gave me a little tickle before letting me sit on the hood of the car like the Dukes of Hazard.”
No Zoom • My brother loves to snowboard. And…? So what?
Zoom magnification: x2 • As my brother glides down the mountain, hearing the roaring of the snow-making machines, he squints at the sun reflecting off the slope and smiles. There is no place he’d rather be!
Zoom magnification: x3 • As my brother glides down the mountain, hearing the roaring of the snow-making machines, he squints at the sun reflecting off the slope and smiles. There is no place he’d rather be!Swerving down the Black Diamond on his M3 Hybrid, he moves easily in his black Stryder jacket and gray Columbia snow pants.
Zoom magnification: x4 • As my brother glides down the mountain, hearing the roaring of the snow-making machines, he squints at the sun reflecting off the slope and smiles. There is no place he’d rather be! Swerving down the Black Diamond on his M3 Hybrid, he moves easily in his black Stryder jacket and gray Columbia snow pants. The white snow sprays under the pressure of his board as he picks up speed.
Zoom magnification: x5 • As my brother glides down the mountain, hearing the roaring of the snow-making machines, he squints at the sun reflecting off the slope and smiles. There is no place he’d rather be! Swerving down the Black Diamond on his M3 Hybrid, he moves easily in his black Stryder jacket and gray Columbia snow pants. The white snow sprays under the pressure of his board as he picks up speed. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly as he zooms past the line of blurred trees, while the sharp wind bites at his quickly reddening cheeks.
No Zoom Zoom x2 Zoom x3 Zoom x4 Zoom x5
Bold Beginnings • One sunny day I went to the beach and saw a mermaid. BORING!
Action Beginning • I dove into the ocean, kicked my feet in the cool water, stood up, and wiped the water from my face. I paused. Something strange near the rocks caught my eye.
Dialogue Beginning • “What a great day for the beach!” I yelled as I splashed in the waves.
A thought, question, or feeling beginning • If only I could swim out to that sandbar, I thought. There’s something very strange out there. Something I’ve never seen here at the beach before.
A sound effect beginning • Kersplash! The waves crashed over me as I stood staring at the strange sight out on the jetty.
Examples and Practice • Read the “What is it?” and example on your “Explode the Moment” handout. • Complete the “Your Time to Write” section in your Writers NB.
Shrink a Moment When: • It helps move the story along. • Saying less is saying more. • It makes a greater impact to condense.
Examples and Practice • Read the example on your “Shrinking Time” handout. • Then, complete the “Your Time to Write” section in your writer’s NB (for homework if not complete). Share with a partner.
“Genetic Engineering” & “Let it Snow” by David Sedaris While reading: Look for and make note of examples of: • Time Jumps (shrinking time) • Exploding the moment • Vivid Verbs • Sensory detail/imagery • Dialogue