Safe Dates Session 7

1. Safe Dates Session 7 Equal Power through communication

2. Classroom Rules • Respect each others opinions • Listen to each other ( No talking while someone else is speaking) • No Names • 1 person is talking at time • No Laughing

3. Learner Outcomes • Describe the 8 communication skills for resolving conflict • Demonstrate the use of the 8 Safe Dates communication skills • Describe some nonviolent responses when a bf/gf doesn’t communicate in a way that is fair and equal

4. effective communication • Effective communication is important in all parts of lives • In relationships, open and honest communication is essential • Positive communication skills can help you work through the situation without being hurtful or abusive

5. 8 skills of effective communication • S ecure your center • A sk clarifying questions • F ind out what your partner’s feelings are • E xpress your Feelings • D etermine what’s important to you • A cknowledge what’s important to your partner • T hink about your similarities and differences • E xchange ideas for a possible solution

6. 8 skills of effective communication • What do you think each skill means? • These communication skills are useful in establishing new relationships or in ongoing, healthy relationships where both people feel secure. In in a relationship where power isn’t shared equally these skills may not be useful on their own

7. Identifying communication skills • Role-play LaToya and Marcus ( 2 volunteers) • Instructions: • - As the role-play is acted out, listen for each of the Safe Dates skills of communication • - Now complete Handout 19b LaToya and Marcus Checklist

8. Role-playing communication skills • Communication is a skill • No one is a born communicator, but everyone can learn to assert himself or herself while respecting the feelings and beliefs of others • Scenario 1: Maggie & Josh • Scenario 2: Serena & Tonya • Scenario 3: Jammal & Jennifer

9. What if doesn’t work • For communication skills to work and to produce a result that both people are happy with, both people have to cooperate. • What can you do if your bf/gf is doing their part? • Scenario 1: Chang & Lucy • What can Lucy do if Chang is clearly not going to cooperate? • Scenario 2: Tyler and Rachel • What can Tyler do since he can’t seem to calm Rachel down?

10. Conclusion • Good Communication between dating partner’s can help keep the power in relationships equal and can prevent abuse from happening. • In relationships that are already abusive, communication skills may not be enough • When victims of abuse try and use these skills, their efforts may be blocked because the abuser doesn’t want to relinquish any power

11. Stereotyping Leads to abuse • Scenario 1: Jason and Megan • What stereotypes does Jason hold of females? • What stereotypes does Jason hold of males? • Did Megan hold any stereotypes? • Did Jason’s friends hold any stereotypes?

12. Stereotyping Leads to abuse ( Continued) • Scenario 2: Tyrone and Nicole • What stereotypes does Nicole hold of males? • What stereotypes does Nicole hold on females? • Did Tyrone hold any stereotypes?

13. Conclusion • Television, movies, songs, parents, and friends reflect how people are “ supposed” to act in our society • Stereotypes can be both positive and negative • Trying to live up to certain stereotypes or expecting a partner to live up to certain stereotypes may cause conflicts • When in a relationship, think about your expectations for your bf/gf. Are they fair and reasonable, or are your expectations based on gender stereotypes?