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SO YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE?. Mrs. Donna Grissom Tamarra Head. INTRO. Well, this workshop is all about social intelligence, more specifically, at a formal setting. You will learn everything, from how to use silverware, to how to use proper etiquette.
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SO YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE? Mrs. Donna Grissom Tamarra Head
INTRO Well, this workshop is all about social intelligence, more specifically, at a formal setting. You will learn everything, from how to use silverware, to how to use proper etiquette. Have you ever been at a banquet, such as the one held at State CDC, and been embarrassed because you didn’t know which fork or spoon to use?
RULE #1: NEVER DO ANYTHING UNTIL THE HOST DOES IT This includes: • Eating • Sitting • Putting your napkin on the table • Leaving
TIP #1 In case you get confused about which plates and utensils are yours, remember this: • Your plate is in the center • Knives and spoons are on your right • Forks and napkin on the left • Liquids (e.g. water) on the right • Solids (e.g. bread plate) on the left
RULE #2: USE YOUR UTENSILS CORRECTLY • Take your napkin and place it in your lap (not your shirt) as soon as you sit down (it should never be on the table) NOTE: For males, do not put your tie over your shoulder.
RULE #3: USE YOUR UTENSILS FROM THE OUTSIDE IN • The fork furthest to the outside is for appetizers. • As the next part of the meal comes, use the next outermost fork, and so on. • The same rules apply for the spoons and knives.
RULE #4: YOU SHOULD NEVER LET UTENSILS, ONCE USED, TOUCH THE TABLE • Once ANY utensil has been used (fork, knife, spoon, etc.), leave it on the plate. DO NOT place the utensils back on the tablecloth, as it might stain the tablecloth.
RULE #5: ALWAYS USE PROPER POSTURE • Always sit up straight in your chair, never leaning backward or forward • Never let your elbows touch the table (your hands may) • When eating, do not bring your face toward the plate; bring the utensil to you • If you drop your utensil, do not pick it up off the floor. Politely signal a waiter to replace the item. You may only pick it up if it is your napkin.
RULE #6: PASSING ITEMS • If asked to pass something, only reach for the item if you are the closest one to the item. • If the item must be passed by more than one person, place the item directly next to your neighbor. Continue passing it in this manner. • Do not help yourself to the item until after the original requester gets a chance, then ask for it to be passed back to you.
RULE #7: SALT AND PEPPER • If someone asks you to pass the salt or the pepper, follow the same rules for passing other items, but pass BOTH the salt and pepper (even if only one is requested). • NEVER season your food until after you have tasted it (it is disrespectful to the cook to season your food before you even taste it). • If the dish must be shared with others, do not season the dish. Instead, season your own portion on your own plate.
RULE #8: HOW TO PROPERLY HANDLE EMBARASSING MOMENTS • If you happen to burp, spill something, or have some other mishap, just excuse yourself quietly(to no one in particular), and put your napkin to your lips. • Never smear your napkin over your face, or wipe your mouth roughly with your napkin. Just use it to blot your mouth. UNLESS YOU SPILL SOMETHING, WHICH LEADS TO…
RULE #9: HOW TO HANDLE SPILLS • If you spill something, do not make a big deal out of it. Just be calm, quietly apologize, and try to prevent anything from spilling onto people next to you by using your napkin. • If something spills onto someone’s clothes, do NOT try to get it off their clothes. Instead, politely point it out, let them clean it up, and offer to pay the cleaning bill.
RULE #10: USE OF YOUR FINGERS WHEN EATING • If you are not sure whether or not you can eat something with your fingers, just use a utensil. It’s better to be over-careful than under-careful. • As for foods that you can eat with your fingers, they include:
Artichoke • Asparagus (as long as there is no sauce on it, and it is not too long) • Bacon (but only if it is crisp) • Sandwiches • Cookies • Small fruits or berries with stems • French fries and potato chips • Hamburgers and hot dogs • Corn on the cob • Caviar • Pickles
RULE #11: PACE YOURSELF • Take your time! Do not fill your mouth with too much food. • Try to keep the same eating pace as your host, so that you all finish at the same time.
RULE #12: MOM-ISMS • Think of most of the things you have heard all your life from your mom. Most of them were 100% correct: • Don’t grab food • Don’t talk with your mouth full • Chew with your mouth closed and no noise • Excuse yourself if you get up to go somewhere (e.g, bathroom, to make a call) • Don’t pick anything out of your teeth (just excuse yourself to the bathroom) • Don’t leave lipstick smears on anything • Don’t put personal items on the table (meaning a purse, papers, keys, etc.) • Don’t smoke • Don’t tilt or squirm in your chair.
RULE #13: FINISHING THE MEAL • When everyone is just about finished, place your knife and fork on the plate so that they are parallel to each other, at the eleven o’clock position (a diagonal from bottom right to top left) with the points facing away from you. • Do not use the “X” position, with the knife and fork crossing like an X on your plate. This indicates that you are not done with your plate, but merely resting. To correctly use the “X” position, the fork bottom should be on your left, and the knife bottom on the right. • Loosely place your napkin next to your plate, but NEVER until everyone is done eating and drinking.
With these tips, you should be a pro at formal dinners. Enjoy! Now that the hard part is over, it's time to have fun...