Drill

1. Drill Indicate the type of conflict and the most evident cause for each situation. • Celine wins a Grammy, and Mariah wants it, so Mariah punches Celine. • A member of your group does not want to do his work and still share the group’s grade on the project. • The Jets and the Sharks fight over who has control of the street. • Russia and Germany go to war over Latvia and Poland.

2. Lesson 2 Day 1The Conflict Loop Objectives: • Become familiar with the conflict loop and its major parts. • Differentiate between positive and negative conflict loops. • Understand what perpetuates the loop. • Create a personal conflict loop. • Understand what can be done to break a negative conflict loop.

3. Which type of conflict is being portrayed? • What might be the cause(s) of the conflict?

4. Which type of conflict is being portrayed? • What might be the cause(s) of the conflict?

5. The Conflict LoopBasic Concepts • Conflict is unavoidable; we all experience it in our lives. • We all have underlying beliefs and attitudes about conflict; we decide for ourselves whether conflict is a positive or a negative event. • When conflict occurs, our beliefs and attitudes affect our responses. • Conflict is a series of events, causes, and effects that form a closed loop. • By learning about the loop, we can better understand what we are thinking and feeling when we are involved in a conflict and also see how we can produce more positive outcomes.

6. The Conflict LoopClass Reader Convictions Results Conflict Our Response

7. Convictions • Our personal conflict history is developed from… • verbal messages • behaviors we saw modeled • the media • our own experiences

8. Bob grew up in a home where conflict was never expressed openly. Although the tensions resulting from unexpressed conflicts could be felt in the home, the fact that no one confronted the situation, pretending that nothing was wrong, only made the unexpressed tensions much greater. There was tension for everyone in the family, and Bob grew up believing that conflict is always negative because it causes discomfort and tension, and that dealing with the conflict openly was inappropriate. What Bob learned was that dealing with a conflict (rocking the boat) was wrong, and that in doing so, he would destroy his relationship with anyone he confronted.

9. Conflict • Conflicts can take many forms. • spoken • unspoken • minor disagreement • major altercation • physical violence

10. Bob is a high school senior who is the star reporter for the school paper. He is used to having his articles accepted by the editor of the paper without any editing, but recently a new editor, Ray, came on board, and things began to change. Bob submitted an article to the paper about the school cafeteria, and without consulting Bob, Ray made major changes in the article. When Bob read his article in the paper, he was furious and stormed out of the newspaper office, but didn’t say anything to Ray about it. Bob is experiencing a conflict that he has internalized.

11. Our Response • Our actions may vary • sit down and talk about the situation with the person we blame for causing it • go to blows (physical altercation) with a perceived adversary • stay silent and remove ourselves from the situation • Do we respond the same way for every conflict we experience? • Discuss examples.

12. Back to Bob….. When Bob read his article in the paper, he was furious and stormed out of the newspaper office, but didn’t say anything to Ray about it. • Bob is responding in a way that is appropriate to his perceptions about conflict. • Conflict is negative • Confrontation should be avoided • Instead of expressing his feelings, Bob became silent, stifling his feelings and refusing to work out the problem.

13. Results • Even if it appears there is no response, there is always a result; how things change or stay the same. • In Bob’s case, the results are… • A strained relationship between Bob and Ray • Ray might not know why Bob is acting the way he is • Bob’s hurt feelings will not go away • Bob might feel afraid that if he says anything to Ray, he might jeopardize his position on the paper or that he will lose Ray’s friendship or respect • Bob’s personal conviction that conflict is negative is reinforced  this brings Bob back to the beginning of his personal conflict loop.

14. Brainstorm as a class • Examples of conflict…. 1. 2. 3. 4. • Choose one conflict from above and write two scenarios on loose leaf paper. • one where the underlying beliefs are positive • one where the underlying beliefs are negative

15. Ticket out the Door: • Write what you believe/think about the following two statements. • If our beliefs about conflict are negative, then we are likely to behave in ways that will produce negative results. • If our beliefs about conflict are positive, then we are likely to use our communication skills and work to solve the problem.