What do modern families need?

1. What do modern families need? Jonathan Kemp Anglican YCF Ministry

2. My job title... • Jonathan Kemp • Director, Youth, Children's & Families Ministry • Ministry Education Commission • Milton

3. Families aren’t what they used to be... • shapes and rhythms have changed enormously over the last 100 years, even the last 50 years. • 7 760 000 households (2011 Census) • 5 000 000 families (ABS) • Q: In 2013, what percentage of our families are ‘nuclear’ (married mum and dad and just their own children)? • A: 33%

4. Modern families • Rise in multi-generational households (boomerang kids) • Record birth rates (300 000 per year) • Declining household size: • 1911 – 4.5 • 2011 – 2.5 • 2014? • 2.6

5. Modern Families • 20% of our population are Dads (4.6 million) • 156 000 single parent dads with 228 000 children • 144 000 stay-at-home dads • 46 680 grandparent-headed families • Q: What percentage of young children are in grandparent care sometime during the week? • A: 40% • 39 621 Australian children living in out-of-home care in 2012. (This number has risen every year over the last 10 years.)

6. Modern Families • ChildCare 0-2 years: 20% in 1984; 54% in 2014 • ChildCare 3-5 years: 50% in 1984; 70% in 2014 • 65% of mothers with children <15 years employed in 2010. • 339 adoptions in 2013 (1501 in 1988); 210 Aussies • Inter-country adoption process: average 5 year wait

7. Modern Families • 123 244 marriages in 2012 • 49 917 divorces in 2012 • 49% of divorces involve children; 44 834 children • 35% of births were ex-nuptial in 2012 • Q: What percentage of marriages were preceded by cohabitation in 2012? • A: 78%

8. Families aren’t what they used to be... • Many families are under pressure; others are uncertain about how to be a family. • Should the Church be responding? Do we have anything to offer?

9. YES: WE DO • The Church is (and should be) expert at bringing families together and keeping them together.

10. Family quality is more important than quantity or shape.

11. Why should we be trying to help families? • Obeying God: The Scriptures tell us that families are important and that parents have responsibilities.

12. Childhood is important for faith development Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray. Proverbs 22.6

13. Parents are pastors But take care and watch yourselves closely, so as neither to forget the things that your eyes have seen nor to let them slip from your mind all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children’s children. Deuteronomy 4.9

14. Parents are teachers • He established a decree in Jacob, • and appointed a law in Israel, • which he commanded our ancestors • to teach to their children; • that the next generation might know them, • the children yet unborn, • and rise up and tell them to their children, • so that they should set their hope in God, • Psalm 78.5-7

15. Why else should we minister to families? • Helping families helps our Church. • Research says that: • A) most Christians accepted Jesus before the age of 20, many before the age of 10. • B) that children, even teenagers, are influenced in the formation of their faith by their parents more than any other group or institution. • So: Church growth is most likely to come from youth and children – from families.

16. The Church should be helping families... But not doing all the work for them!

17. We need to shift from the church doing all the ‘faith stuff’ to supporting parents so they can be doing it too.

18. We need to “lead from alongside”. • Create opportunities for families to be together (e.g. events, camps...) where parents can interact with their children in spiritual ways. • Educate, train, model, show how to make ‘family time’ a priority, and what they could do within that time.

20. 4 Habits for Home • A living, loving Christian role model in the home is by far the best delivery system for passing on the Christian faith. • We can encourage families to adopt habits to help do this. • Closeness/stories/rituals / service

21. Closeness

22. Closeness: • Talking / sharing • Taking an interest in each other’s activities • Planning calendars together • Mealtimes with no TV / technology

23. Stories

24. Stories • Fitting into the family story/history • Fitting into the Bible story • Going through photos • Watching wedding or baby videos

25. Ritual

26. Family rituals • Going to Church • Visiting grandparents / relatives • Holidays / camping • Birthdays / Baptism candles • Rites of Passage

27. Service

28. Why is it good for families to perform acts of service together? • The ‘service ethic’ seems to be inherited • Makes ‘family time’ a priority • Reduces screen time • Builds and serves the wider community • Allows family members to see each other in a new light • Gives young people opportunity to lead • Gives a stimulus to talk about and teach values

29. Ask: “If one person is doing it alone today... • Could a family be doing it together next time?”

30. Do we roster on individuals or families? • Welcoming • Reading • Intercessions • Flowers / silver • Bringing up the elements • Morning tea service • Gardening • Etc...

31. Resources for home • “The Faith 5” (Faith Inkubators: www.faith5.org) • Share – each other’s highs and lows • Read – a Bible passage • Talk – about how the passage relates to our lives • Pray – for each other’s needs • Bless – each other in a simple way

32. Faithful-Families • www.faithful-families.blogspot.com.au • Weekly Anglican resources for families: • Closeness • Game • Sharing • Story and Discussion (sermons4kids.com) • Prayer and Celebration • Service activity • Family Time

33. 1. www.messychurch.co.uk 2. Facebook: “Messy Church – Brisbane and Beyond!” 3. Or contact me directly.

34. Messy Church isn’t sloppy. • Messy Church values are: • Christ-centred • Messy Church is a church, not a craft club, that helps people encounter Jesus as Lord and Saviour. • All-age • It is for adults and children to enjoy together - every element should be relevant and accessible to all ages.

35. Messy Church Values • Creativity • It uses hands-on activities to explore Bible stories, to reflect a God of creativity and to give people a chance to play together. • Hospitality • It reflects a God of unconditional love and is a church for people outside church, providing an oasis of welcome and a safe space in which to thrive. Messy Church is about hospitality, expressed most evidently by eating together – whether it’s a plate of sandwiches to share, or sausage and mash. • Celebration • It reflects a God of joy who wants his people to have life in all its fullness.

36. Workshops • “Messy Church” seminars (Sherwood, early September)

37. Summing up: • Families need help. • Our Church can and should help. • Helping doesn’t mean doing all the parenting for parents. • Our Church can provide expertise, resources and experiences to make families strong and happy.

38. Last thought... • The passing on of the faith to the next generation is much too important a task to be left in the hands of those who are paid to do it. (April Ulrich Larsen)

39. More resources • Visit WWW.AYCF.ORG.AU • Borrow books from the Roscoe Library, Milton (free for Anglican parishioners) • Call me! Jonathan Kemp (07) 3514 7432 at St Francis College, Milton. • Email me: info@aycf.org.au