Presented by David Milligan, FLMI, AIRC, AIAA, ACS, CCP, ACP

1. Be My Neighbor –Win-Win Negotiation Methods orEverything I Need to Know About How to Treat People Right and Still Get What I Want I Learned From Mr. Rogers Presented by David Milligan, FLMI, AIRC, AIAA, ACS, CCP, ACP Compliance Officer, AmerUs Life Insurance Group

2. The Neighborhood It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,A beautiful day for a neighbor.Would you be mine?Could you be mine?...It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,A neighborly day for a beauty.Would you be mine?Could you be mine?...I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.Since we're together we might as well say:Would you be mine?Could you be mine?Won't you be my neighbor?Won't you please,Won't you please?Please won't you be my neighbor?

3. The Neighborhood Code of ethics Understand your Audience Being a professional Doing what’s right Setting goals; Providing solutions

4. Everyone is Special: A Code of Personal and Professional Ethics • Must Do – legal requirement • Should Do – ethical behavior • What is the difference?

5. Everyone is Special: A Code of Personal and Professional Ethics • Identify Who Should be Concerned With My Behavior – Who is My Audience? • Clients • Company • Co-workers • Public • Regulators • Other stakeholders • Myself

6. Everyone is Special: A Code of Personal and Professional Ethics • AmerUs Life Insurance Group’s Guiding Principles: • Fairness - In everything we do, we must be equitable and impartial, treating no one person better than another. • Honesty - We must always tell the truth and have integrity in all our interactions. • Respect - We must treat others the way we would want to be treated. • Stewardship - We must use every resource we have as if it were an investment. • Cooperation - We must diligently work together so that the whole team is greater than the sum of its parts. • Quality Service - We must strive to serve every stakeholder with our very best.

7. Everyone is Special: A Code of Personal and Professional Ethics • The Olympic Oath "In the name of all competitors, I promise that we shall take part in these Olympic Games, respecting and abiding by the rules that govern them, in the true spirit of sportsmanship, for the glory of sport and the honour of our teams." - Written by Baron de Coubertin, the oath is taken by an athlete from the host nation while holding a corner of the Olympic flag. The athletes' oath was first taken by Belgian fencer Victor Boin at the 1920 Antwerp Games.

8. Everyone is Special: A Code of Personal and Professional Ethics What Mr. Rogers Would Say: • Leave something of yourself with everyone you meet • Realize how important you can be to those you meet • Encourage others to realize how important and unique they are to others

9. Understand Your Audience • Getting to Know Your Audience • Gather background • How complex is the situation • Who else is in the picture • Co-workers, consultants, boss, outside parties - regulators • Whose advise does the individual audience member depend on? • Yours, family, co-workers, professionals, attorney, someone else?

10. Understand Your Audience • Providing Ethical Options • The audience's interest • My interest • Any other party with a stake? • Win-win situations • Find the balance between good for me and good for the members of my audience • Both the members of my audience and I feel good about outcome

11. Understand Your Audience • Determine Objective • What does the audience member want accomplished? • What do I want to accomplish? • Establish Desired Outcome • Does the audience member have a need? • Do I have a need? Be prepared • Do your homework • Practice, practice, practice – but don’t over practice • Know your audience • Novice, experts, demographics

12. Understand Your Audience • Make “my” point • Put forth your idea or address a specific item • Advocate a position • Constructive feedback • Call attention to problem or potential problem • Don’t try to solve the problem • Open door to problem solving • Positive spirit, mutual respect, learning

13. Understand Your Audience • Convey positive intent • Prepare what you will say • Consider the timing • Plainly state what will be covered • Point to common goal

14. Understand Your Audience Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. -Steven Covey

15. Understand Your Audience • What Mr. Rogers Would Say: • Love/Respect isn’t a state of perfect caring; it’s an active noun like “struggle” • Care all the time, not just when convenient or comfortable • The “Greatest Gifts” you can pass on to others • Deeper understanding of what is important in life • Ability to love/respect • Belief in self • Life is like a dance – try to find the rhythm • Balance between good for me and good for my Audience • Sense that one belongs in other’s lives

16. What is Truly Important … you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth… I have never received anything but kindness and encouragement… …When you have a father and mother work all their lives so that you can have an education and build your body, it’s a blessing. When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed, that’s the finest I know. So I close in saying that I might have had a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for. -Lou Gehrig July 4, 1939, at Yankee Stadium

17. Setting Goals; Providing Solutions • Apply my knowledge to provide solutions • That meet identified needs and/or wants • Problems are like knots • Look at problems from different angles • Offer alternative solutions • No “cookie cutter” solutions • Each audience member is different and unique • Each audience member’s needs are different and unique • My needs are different and unique

18. Setting Goals; Providing Solutions • State Impact of Behavior or Action • Link to need or challenge as desired outcome • State 1 or 2 significant consequences • Be objective • Ask for a Response • Invite dialogue • Listen objectively • Summarize when they have finished • No misunderstandings

19. Setting Goals; Providing Solutions • Focus on Solutions • Determine next steps • Ask for change wanted • Avoid appearing as “expert” • Make clear who is responsible for actions to be taken • Manage your own expectations

20. Setting Goals; Providing Solutions • People want to feel self-reliant & capable of dealing with adversity & problems • We can assist in helping them feel this way • Help them realize that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness • When faced with “scary things” peoplelook for helpers • Helpers = competent professionals • Competent professionals = you

21. Setting Goals; Providing Solutions Ninety percent of this game is half mental! Yogi Berra Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it Mark Twain

22. Setting Goals; Providing Solutions • What Mr. Rogers would say: • Feelings are mentionable, therefore manageable • listen to what the individual says, see what the individual needs • People want to feel self-reliant & capable of dealing with adversity • Can’t do all things by themselves • Accepting help is inseparable from capacity to give

23. Setting Goals; Providing Solutions • What Mr. Rogers would say: • Communicating: Hallowed Ground • Don’t be uncomfortable showing your emotions/feelings • Help others determine needs and develop goals through listening • Combine your intuition with a sensitivity to others feelings • You attain attributes: generosity, altruism, compassion, sympathy, empathy

24. Doing What’s Right • Make the Right Decision • Don’t make hasty decisions • Don’t make hasty recommendations • Don’t force issues on a audience member when they aren’t ready to make a decision • What Truly Matters to Me? My Audience? • “Selfishness” • “The Good Stuff”

25. Doing What’s Right Isn’t Always Easy “I shall ever thank God that in that troubled hour of trial, when many privately confessed that they had sacrificed their judgment and their consciences…I had the courage to be true to my oath and my conscience. Perhaps I did wrong not to commit perjury… but I cannot see it that way. I became a judge acting on my own responsibility and accountable only to my own conscience and my Maker and no power could force me to decide on such a case contrary to my convictions, whether … composed of my friends or my enemies.” • Senator James W. Grimes - Iowa

26. Doing What’s Right • What Mr. Rogers would say: • Is like growing-up and making decisions for yourself • A long trip • We walk 65,000 miles…ask: Where will my steps take me? How will I use the rest of my miles I have to go? • Think of those less fortunate than me (like a child) • Taking care of their needs • Listen and learn • Help develop a plan to meet goals

27. Doing What’s Right • What Mr. Rogers would say: • Show that they matter • Give complete attention • We’ve all felt like “children” and sometimes still do • The monster in our room • Remembering how we feel and react • Everyone is unique • No cookie cutter approaches

28. Being a Professional • You never fail when doing your best • Measure yourself against yourself • What is really important? • Common sense approach • Is this doing good, or could it harm? • Can I look in the mirror?

29. Being a Professional You may of course ask whether we really need to refer to “saints.” Wouldn't it suffice just to refer to decent people? It is true that they form a minority. More than that, they always will remain a minority. And yet I see therein the very challenge to join the minority. For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best. Dr. Victor Frankl, MD, Ph.D.. Auschwitz Survivor

30. Being a Professional • What Mr. Rogers would say: • Sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet • There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person

31. In The End • Did I listen to my Audience? • Did I answer my Audience’s questions? • Did I educate my Audience? • Did I gather and present all relevant facts? • Did I take my Audience's position into account? • Was I honest about what I do, what I offer, What I want?

32. In The End Sed omnia praeclara tam difficilia quam rara sunt But everything great is as difficult to realize as it is rare to find -Spinoza, Ethics

33. In The End • What Mr. Rogers would say: “We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say “It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.”