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“Where I Stand” Essay

Sample Student Responses. “Where I Stand” Essay. A “Backwards Outline” of Sample Essay #1. For paragraphs 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7: Create an outline based on what “Matthew” wrote List the prompt and his idea (II, III, IV, V, VI, VII)

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“Where I Stand” Essay

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  1. Sample Student Responses “Where I Stand” Essay

  2. A “Backwards Outline” of Sample Essay #1 • For paragraphs 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7: • Create an outline based on what “Matthew” wrote • List the prompt and his idea (II, III, IV, V, VI, VII) • Choose three supporting details from each of his paragraphs (A, B, C) • Example: I. I am Matthew • Enjoys basketball, guitar, and talk-box • Music is important • Is “somewhat of a pyromaniac”

  3. Sample Student Paragraph#1 • I want to finish ninth grade with all A’s and B’s. I want to graduate from Mauldin and go to college at Clemson. I want to be an engineer. I want to make a lot of money so I can buy a big house and drive a Lexus. I want to be able to have everything I could want or need.

  4. Sample Student Paragraph#2 • I want to be a good role-model to my little brother, Elijah. My dad passed away when I was only seven, so growing up, I never had a father who could show me how to be a man. My brother was only two when Dad died, so he hardly knew our father at all. I have begun to realize just how much my brother looks up to me because he copies almost everything I do. I used to think it was annoying that he’d dress like me, talk like me, and try to hang out with all of my friends. Now I realize how important my job as older brother really is; he’s looking to me to see how to live. I want to do the right things so that he’ll see how to grow into a real man himself.

  5. What made paragraph #2 better? • *Your paragraphs should have only one focus that is identified in your TOPIC SENTENCE. This will make goal of each paragraph clear. It also helps to have a SUMMARY SENTENCE (conclusion) at the end of the paragraph to wrap up what you’ve already explained.

  6. Sample Student Paragraph #3 • I love my dog. Her name is Lucille. We call her Lucy. She is a Rottweiler. She is three years old. She is black and white.

  7. Sample Student Paragraph #4 • I love my family’s three-year-old Rottweiler, Lucy. Her name is actually Lucille, but ever since she was a puppy, she has always responded better to her nickname. Lucy has a beautiful black and white coat, and she is pretty big. Sometimes her size scares the kids who live on my block, but she truly is a gentle dog because we have trained her to treat people carefully. My step-dad bought Lucy when I was in sixth grade, but I have always thought of her as mine. I really do love her!

  8. Why is paragraph #4 better? • *Use a VARIETY of sentence STRUCTURES and sentence LENGTHS. It makes your writing more interesting to read.

  9. “Where I Stand (Revised)” • Read the second sample essay. • Pay attention to the author’s prompts, supporting details and descriptions, and her conclusion sentences. • Copy five pairs of topic and conclusion sentences that you think are most successful in the essay. • Copy five supporting details or descriptions that you think are most vivid for the reader.

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