Intensity and Sensitivity of the Gifted Child

1. Intensity and Sensitivity of the Gifted Child Teresa Argo Boatman For GRASP – Oct 21, 2013

2. Living with Intensity, Daniels and Piechowski

3. Intensity/Overexcitabilities • Overexcitabilities • An intense interaction with the world in five different areas – Psychomotor, Intellectual, Sensual, Imaginational, Emotional • Impact intake of information from the world and what is given back to differing situations

4. Psychomotor Intensity • Organic surplus of energy • Augmented capacity for being active and energetic, love of movement • Heightened excitability of the neuromuscular system, expressed as movement • Restlessness and nervous habits (tics, nail biting) • Compulsive talking and chattering • Pressure for action • Rapid speech

5. Psychomotor OE Responses • Allow for movement during activities, dinner, family time • Movement can be really important for many kids during homework time – exercise balls, pacing • Development of space in house that works to ‘stretch out the kinks’ • Do not remove recess for any reason – work with teacher • Encourage exercise at home before coming to school for the day • Fidgets and chewing allowed • What is your tolerance for movement in your house?

6. Intellectual Intensity • Avid search for truth and knowledge • Discovery, questioning, and always asking probing questions • Love of ideas and theoretical analysis, moral thinking, intuitive integration of ideas • Capacity for sustained intellectual effort • Intense concentration and curiosity • Highly introspective

7. Intellectual OE Responses • Some opportunity for extended work time on independent projects each week – allow for diving deep • Warning system of transitions from activity to activity – touch may need to be part of it • Understanding of absentminded professor syndrome • System for communicating “deep questions” that can be used so does not disrupt your needs for sleep, new activity, etc.

8. Sensual Intensity • Heightened sensory pleasure and over responsiveness: Seeing, Smelling, Tasting, Touching, Hearing • Enhanced aliveness of sensual experiences • Expression of emotional tension through: overeating, sensory seeking, wanting to be in limelight • Aesthetic pleasures

9. Sensual OE Responses • Lighting addressed in room and spaces • Sound issues identified and addressed as necessary – allow child to use earplugs during work time or dampen sounds for maximum work efficiency • Provide teachers information about OE so they can understand food and clothing issues, heightened responsiveness • Work on personal space and boundary issues as necessary • Look at reactivity to situations for the possible sensory stimulus • Find activities that can “be on stage”

10. Imaginational Intensity • Frequent use of image and metaphor • Vividness of imagery and richness of association • Liking for the unusual • Facility for dreams, fantasies, and inventions • Mixing truth and fiction due to fantasy life • Spontaneous imagery and expression • Detailed visual recall

11. Imaginational OE Responses • Be prepared for anxiety response to those situations which can be imagined to be scary • Be sensitive to movies which depict evil • Alternate indoor recess option if a movie is shown in your school • Feed Imagination through art, poetry, and opportunity for fictional work through assignments • Defining difference between real and imaginary world • Help them see the worst, best and most likely in those imaginary/scary situations

12. Emotional Intensity • Intensity of emotional life, intense positive and negative feelings • Somatic expression of emotions (tense stomach, blushing, pounding heart) • Strong emotional ties and attachments • Compassion and empathy for others feelings • Heightened sense of responsibility • Scrupulous self-examination and self-judgment • Fears and anxieties / Feelings of guilt

13. Emotional OE Responses • Prepare teacher for emotional responsiveness of your child • Environment which supports sensitivity rather than makes it a negative (especially highly sensitive boys) • Opportunity for children to communicate emotional intensity without your need to solve the problem • Teach and use stress management techniques • Teach ways to step out of emotionally charged situations • Allow for relaxation time during the day

14. Perfectionism • Distinguish between excellence and perfection within your child’s work • Reward work effort rather than outcome as much as possible • Teach choices of 100% and 90% goals and what leads to 50% outcomes • Help child understand the difference between what they see in their head as a possible outcome and what their body and time can actually do • Teach them to be comfortable with starting (writing, new projects, new sports) without a clear path to follow

16. What to do when Good Enough isn’t Good Enough • Moving Past Perfect

17. Idealism/Fairness • Work toward the gray in ideas, concepts, and rules • Distinguish tattling from telling • Discussion on absolute truth – where do we find something that is absolutely true • Identify needs of others – Do people need to know when they have made a mistake and are wrong? • How do we correct others gently and with respect • Smartyrdom – The ability to let someone else win an argument even when you know you're correct

19. Friendship Development • Acceptance of intensity of others within the their friendship sphere • Acceptance of one or two friends as adequate and reasonable • Identification of different friends for different reasons • Find at least one other kid who thinks your kid is awesome • Look toward interests and maybe classes in strength area

20. Definition of Fun • Gifted students may define fun in a wide variety of ways – political debates not uncommon, competitiveness can be difficult to control, idea development is particularly fun • Encourage students to take risks in areas of fun – sometimes anxiety gets in the way of trying new things • Encourage trying other areas even if not highly skilled • Introverted perfectionists probably gravitate toward individual sports

21. Changing expectations • Gifted children have not always been in situation where their perception is that they are accepted or connected or their particular skills are valued • May feel the need to “sell” others on their skill sets and what they know because they feel like an imposter in the group • Reassure acceptance of strengths and weaknesses and that different types of skills and strengths are the norm

22. Parenting Plan • Parenting is not for wimps • Look at this whole process as a marathon, not a sprint • Control your own intensity and anxiety as much as possible • Allow for failure and sometimes set your child up for those frustration experiences • Don’t let the “gifted” get in the way of the “child” • Remember, there are many do overs in parenting and life