Languaging for Leadership Choosing words that work better.

1. Languaging for Leadership Choosing words that work better.

2. Ancient Wise Saying

3. Be careful of your WORDS because your words become your thoughts. Be careful of your THOUGHTS because your thoughts become your actions. Be careful of your actions because they create your HABITS. Be careful of your habits because they create your CHARACTER. Be careful of your character because it creates your DESTINY!

4. How Human Communication Works

5. Self- Talk • Personal pictures • Filled in details

6. Myths and Truths

7. MYTH • It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. • Body language • Inflection • Facial expression • Timing

8. Truth Those things do matter BUT the most subtle and devastating block to communication may well be the actual words you choose to use.

9. All Humans Have Filters and Habitual, Conditioned Responses to EVERY WORD.

10. How the Brain Works In Communication

11. Filters • Affective • Effective

12. Cultural Differences • Status indicators • Gestures • Appropriate body language • Reactions to each word

13. Gender Differences

14. Gender -Men and women use language differently • Independence • trust

15. Words translate into pictures • emotional responses • memories

16. Word Selection – “Languaging.” • There are choices between words in every situation. • Be aware of the intrinsic meanings attached to each word. • Choosing wisely. • Avoid FIGHTING WORDS & PHRASES

17. Fighting Words!

18. Don’t • People can’t don’t. Tell them WHAT YOU WANT TO HAVE HAPPEN

19. Failing • F –finding • A –an • I – important • L –lesson • I –inviting • N-needed • G-growth

20. Try • Depend on it!

21. Problem • Opportunity • Challenge • Situation

22. Change • Improve • Build

23. But • And

24. Can't • Won't • Can't YET

25. Wrong • Not what I would do • Different • Interesting

26. Bad • uncomfortable • interesting

27. Should and Should Have • Next time • Next time I’ll

28. Bored • Make different choices

29. Phrases that block communication

30. My BAD • Next time I’ll…

31. That’s stupid • That’s interesting • That’s different • What an unusual idea or action

32. No! • Oh, no thank you. • Have you considered? • Thanks for thinking of me and… • Not at this time. Thank you.

33. I Hate • I don't understand …… • I do not enjoy ……

34. This is how it is • What if we………..? • Is it possible that …..?

35. The problem is • Here's what we could do • As I see it

36. You never • It appears you seldom…… • I don’t remember seeing ….

37. You Always • sometimes I think you… • often it looks like you…

38. Listen to me! • Consider this, please

39. You Said • I heard… • I think you said… • Did you say?

40. Yes, BUT • Please consider… • That might be true. Have you considered… • No thank you. • NO, I don't think so.

41. The Problem IS • The challenge we face is … • Here is how I see the opportunity… • The situation is…

42. Don't let me catch you State what you want to happen

43. They said • Be specific about who said it or what the circumstances were when you heard it.

44. You! (accusatory) • Human Beings… • Many people… • I have been known to…

45. We'll see • Yes • No • I am not sure • I will get back to you by……

46. Let’s deal with this later. • Pick the time

47. We tried that already • Didn’t we try that? • What did we learn last time?

48. It’s too complicated • We need to break this down to simpler tasks • I think it only looks complicated. Let’s see.

49. It will never work • We ‘re the only ones who could possibly make this work.

50. I can not get to it right now! • We are on the same team and I promise I am doing everything I can to get to you