The Quest for Authentic Manhood

1. The Quest for Authentic Manhood A Man and His Wife, Part 2 Session 20

2. Sense of Direction Nuclei FEMALE BRAIN Need for Commitment Hemisphere Ice Cream Receptor Jealousy Irrational Thoughts 1 2 3 Choc. Center Argue & Debate Lobe 1 - Phone Skills 2 - Shopping 3 - Indecision Sex Particle

3. Commitment Molecule C.F. Lobe Stick Shift Lame Excuses Gland Sports MALE BRAIN SEX R.C. Addiction Center Math TV Interrupt Lobe Listening Particle Personal Hygiene Atom Short Attention Span Fragment “Ask for Directions” Resistance Center

4. OUR KEY VERSE … You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NASV)

5. OUR KEY VERSE … You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them … Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God’s blessings, and if you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers. 1 Peter 3:7 (Living Bible)

6. 3 MODELS OF MARRIAGE • The Top-Down Traditional / LORD • 50-50 Identical/ PARTNER • 3. Side-by-Side Biblical / HEAD

7. CORE ISSUES … “CORE”A small but essential ingredient that every marriage must not ignore, neglect, or compromise if it is to be successful overall.

8. CORE ISSUES … • Core Roles …That God gives a husband and wife in marriage

9. CORE ROLES Wife Husband

10. CORE ROLES Wife Husband HELPER

11. Proverbs 31:10-12, 27-29 An excellent wife, who can find? Her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying, “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.”

12. CORE ROLES Wife Husband HELPER HEAD

13. Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church.

14. CORE ISSUES … • Core Roles …That God gives a husband and wife in marriage • Core Responses … That empower your mate’s role

15. CORE RESPONSES Honor & Praise Wife Husband

16. 1 Peter 3:7 You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

17. Proverbs 31:28b-29 Her husband praises her, saying, “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.”

18. CORE RESPONSES Honor & Praise Wife Husband Submission

19. Colossians 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

20. CORE ISSUES … • Core Roles …That God gives a husband and wife in marriage • Core Responses … That empower your mate’s role • Core Concerns … That meet your mate’s deepest needs

21. CORE CONCERNS Honor & Praise Companionship Admiration Support Physical Responsiveness Wife Husband Companionship Security Significance Emotional Responsiveness HELPER HEAD Submission

22. HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN” COMPANIONSHIP

23. COMPANIONSHIP MUST DO Regularly “date” your wife (and talk about your world and hers).

24. COMPANIONSHIP CAN DO Develop a common “play together.” The couple that plays together, stays together.

25. COMPANIONSHIP COURAGE TO DO Plan a special “just for you two” getaway. It will build great memories, strengthen your relationship, and encourage romance.

26. HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN” SECURITY

27. SECURITY MUST DO From time to time, tell your wife, “I am committed to you for life!” Your wedding anniversary is a good time to say this or put it in writing.

28. Life insurance • A savings plan • A health plan • A well thought through will SECURITY CAN DO Establish financial disciplines. Avoid debt as much as possible. Develop a long-range security plan for your wife that includes:

29. SECURITY COURAGE TO DO Seek to provide financially so that your wife doesn’t have to work, especially while raising young children.

30. HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN” SIGNIFICANCE

31. SIGNIFICANCE MUST DO Regularly tell your wife how much you value what she does and how important she is to you.

32. SIGNIFICANCE CAN DO Surprise your wife with a “note of praise” (with flowers is even better!) or a special night out just to say “thank you” for all she does for you.

33. SIGNIFICANCE COURAGE TO DO From time to time, lavish your wife with special gifts: jewelry, a surprise trip, money just to spend on her, etc. The costlier, the better.

34. HOW A HUSBAND SPEAKS “WOMAN” EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESS

35. EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESS MUST DO Regularly tell your wife (with a hug), “I love you.”

36. EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESS CAN DO Learn to say, “So, tell me how you’re doing” in a quiet place with time to listen.

37. EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESS COURAGE TO DO On special occasions, let your wife know why you love her, with spoken words, a card, or in a poem, etc. Spell out in detail all the things you admire and love about her. Be specific and romantic.

38. WHY…SIDE-BY-SIDE BIBLICAL? • It positions a man and a woman for what they naturally do best. • It organizes a man and a woman to complement each other rather than compete with each other. • It creates an environment that is best for the healthy development of children.

39. WHY…SIDE-BY-SIDE BIBLICAL? • It becomes the ideal we can train our children from an early age to embrace. • It honors God’s Word and is blessedby Him. • It prospers and advances society as a whole.

40. “The strength of a nationlies in the homes of its people.” Abraham Lincoln