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Social SKILLS Ben Wahl, MSW WWW.AspiringYOUTH.net. Building Social Skills. Addressing Bullying Young Adult Transitions. Bullying Definition.
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Building Social Skills • Addressing Bullying • Young Adult Transitions
Bullying Definition • “Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself.” • -Olweus, Limber, 2007
Types • Physical aggression, Verbal aggression • Indirect aggression, Relational aggression • Special consideration: Cyber-bullying
Social Thinking Profile • Neurotypical Social Communicator (NSC) • Resistant Social Communicator (RSC) • Nuance Challenged Social Communicator (NCSC) • Emerging Social Communicator (ESC) • Challenged Social Communicator (CSC) -Garcia Winner et al, 2011
Bullying • How special needs students are often targeted. • Preventative steps: • Precise questioning • Friends • Social radar • Scripts • Specific strategies for talking to an adult.
Bullying • How special needs students are sometimes mis-labeled as bullies. • Preventative steps: • Social thinking training • Understanding context • Working with the school • Teaching flexibility/compromise • Social radar
Bullying • Parent Response • How to regain control.
Types of Cyber-Bullying • Harassment: Repeatedly sending offensive, rude, and insulting messages • Cyber Stalking: Repeatedly sending messages that include threats of harm or are highly intimidating. • Flaming: Online "fighting" using electronic messages with angry, vulgar language • Denigration: Distributing information about another that is derogatory and untrue through posting it on a Web page, sending it to others through email or instant messaging, or posting or sending digitally altered photos of someone • Impersonation: Breaking into an email or social networking account and using that person's online identity to send or post vicious or embarrassing material to/about others. • Outing and Trickery: Sharing someone's secrets or embarrassing information, or tricking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information and forwarding it to others. -Nancy Willard, the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use (CSRIU), 2004
Cyber-Bullying: Considerations 1. Anonymity. 2. Less awareness/increased stigma. 3. Adults feel disempowered by the digital landscape. 4. Victim does not have a safe place. 5. Victim fears reporting, will lose privileges. 6. Dis-inhibition, bully is disassociated from their behavior. 7. Long term effects, increased public humiliation.
Talking to youth about cyber-bullying • Prevention: Stop, Block, Talk • Think before you write: -‘Golden Rule Test’, ‘Trusted Adult Test’, ‘Front Page Test’, ‘Real World Test’ • Computer in a public place. • Parent should have password. • Alternatives social outlets. Less computer time.
Bullying • Questions?
Young Adult Transitions • Building more responsibility in the home. • “House Contributions” • Self-monitoring of computer time • Shopping trips • Budgeting • Self-monitoring of homework assignments
Young Adult Transitions • Social Outings: • Help initiate social outings, even if it feels awkward. • Help develop social radar. • Try once, then decide. • Pre-brief outing and build predictability. • Outings with set times and locations and ‘purpose’ are often easier.
Young Adult Transitions • Accommodation with Accountability. • What is self-advocacy? • What is hygiene and why is it important?
Young Adult Transitions • Try to teach patience and perseverance. • ‘Comfort with discomfort’. • -Help them find small steps towards their big goals. Emphasize journey over destination. • -Have boundaries and accountability (20 hours per week minimum, wake up time, screen time). • -Chores (household contributions), homework and independent living skills as much as possible on their own (even driving sometimes). It starts the progression towards independence. • -Help them learn the importance of wellness. • -Try to find as many opportunities for real-world experiences and social connection as possible.