Social Skills

1. Social Skills

2. Objectives Recognize that many people feel shy or uncomfortable in social situations Discuss how shyness can be overcome Practice making social contacts Practice giving and receiving compliments Practice initiating, sustaining, and ending conversations

3. Today we are going to cover techniques that can help make you more socially attractive and self-confident. Many people are shy and uncomfortable in social situations, not because there is anything wrong with them, but simply because they have not learned the basic ingredients of social life.

4. Overcoming Shyness How many of you have been uncomfortable in social situations? Why do people feel shy or uncomfortable in social situations? Is there anything that you can do about it?

5. Read “Getting Over Being Shy”, page 71 in the student workbook. • Learn to “act” • “play” a social situation as if you were an actor acting out a role • Start small & strive for gradual improvement • Begin with easy situations and gradually work up to more difficult ones • Develop scripts & prepare yourself • Write out a brief script, rehearse it at home in front of a mirror, and listen to your voice.

6. Points to Make Shyness can be overcame by learning to “act” as if you aren’t shy (by being more outgoing) and by improving your basic social skills. Anxiety about social contacts can be overcome by practicing the techniques learned in Coping with Anxiety session, particularly mental rehearsal and deep breathing.

7. Initiating Social Contacts • Important step in overcoming shyness is initiating social contacts (saying hello) • Calling someone you don’t know to ask for directions • Practice: • Saying “hello” with partners • Giving directions • Starting a conversation with new people in public places (openers)

8. Giving and Receiving Compliments What are some problems student may have in dealing with compliments? Things you can compliment: Clothing Appearance Something they do well Personality Other personal features

9. Giving Compliments Pick something to compliment Look at the person you are complimenting. Say the compliment in a sincere voice. Receiving Compliment Thank the person If warranted, give the person who complimented you a compliment back.

10. Compliments I like your hair. You played great yesterday. You got an “A” on that test? You are so smart. That sweater looks good on you. You look nice in that color. I like your room. Any more compliments??????

11. Tips for Startinga Conversation • Here are some ideas for starting aconversation with someone you don’t know like at a party or dance. • Pick someone who looks like they would be easy to talk to – they are smiling at you, sitting alone or just walking around.

12. Tips for StartingA Conversation • Introduce yourself - “hello” or “hi” and start talking about where you go to school, where you live, what you enjoy doing. • Give a compliment, then ask a question. “You were really good in the talent show. Do you take lessons?

13. Tips for StartingA Conversation • Ask for help, or offer it. (ex. Carry books, help with a package, lending books, pencils, etc.) • If nothing is working, you can start talking about the weather – there is always something interesting there.

14. Keeping a Conversation Going • Ask questions • Tell a story about yourself. • Get the other person to talk about themselves. • Let the other person know you are interested. • Be happy and “up.”

15. Ending a Conversation • The ending should be as smooth as possible. • Don’t interrupt the person, try to find a natural way to end.

16. Divide the class into groups of six • Each person choose one of the statements to say to another (compliments to give). Everyone should have a turn. • Practice a complete social encounter including a personal introduction and three phases of conversation. • Starting • Keeping it going • Ending

17. Pair students up and give them a tennis ball. Students should pass the ball back forth to maintain the rhythm of an actual conversation.

18. Complete worksheet #20 in your composition.