The shepherd knows his sheep. Recommendations For Meeting The Needs Of Young Single Adults

1. The shepherd knows his sheep.Recommendations For Meeting The Needs Of Young Single Adults

2. What do you see when you look at your ward roster? • A group of young single adults who come from great homes and who have no serious problems. • A group of young people who are very busy with school and friends; and who don’t need to be involved in time consuming church callings. • A group of young single adults who simply need to find a good person and get married. • A group of less mature men who are avoiding commitments, and a group of more mature women who are ready for commitments. • A few members with concerns (<5%), that will largely go away when they get married. • A few members (<3%) have made serious mistakes; yet will likely come around as they mature. • Testimonies are generally strong. Most members understand the importance of scripture study, prayer, and other gospel principles.

3. If this is what you see, then… • Hold a lot of activities & large group mixers that encourage introductions, dating and marriage. • Have only ward FHE – more introductions in the hope of more marriages • No need to worry about callings since they are busy and won’t be there very long anyway. • Give regular admonitions to date and get married – particularly to the men • Have interviews only when absolutely necessary, by request. • No need to seriously change our approach

4. What do you see when you look at your ward roster? • 50%+ of your members are functionally inactive and will likely remain that way for life. • 40%+ of your members did not grow up reading the scriptures, having family prayer, etc. They do not know how to get and keep the spirit. • 30%+ of your members have made serious mistakes that, left unresolved, will lead to a lifetime of inactivity and marriage out of the temple. • 15% of your members are currently suffering with depression, anxiety or self destructive behaviors and don’t know how to get out of it. • 10% of your members have been abused and have never discussed it with anyone. • If you do not intervene, at least ½ of your members will never enjoy the blessings of the temple.

5. If you see serious problems then… • You will want to hold frequent & deep interviews with each and every member. • You will marshal every one of your leaders in finding and assisting less active members. • You will take great pains to bring members to Christ through the power of the atonement. • You will ensure that there are meaningful callings and leadership opportunities for each member • You will work to teach members how to have spiritual experiences and how to get and keep the spirit. • You will work to develop “holy habits and righteous routines” among each and every member. • You will devote whatever time you have in assisting members to overcome the affects of abuse, depression, anxiety, etc. • You will see a critical need to change our approach

6. Serious Concerns • Testimony & Activity – How do we define it? • Attendance at Sacrament and other Meetings • Temple Attendance • Tithes & Offerings • Temple Marriage • Regular Prayer and Scripture Study • Meaningful Service in the Kingdom Defined this way – Activity is probably less than 50% with this group.

7. Left Unresolved? • Loss of the spirit • Loss of confidence • Loss of motivation • Loss of blessings • Poor decision making – major transgressions? • Development of habits for life • Struggle with commandments such as meeting attendance, tithing, fast offering, word of wisdom, etc • Lack of desire or confidence to serve • Weak leadership skills

8. Serious Concerns • Worthiness • Moral Problems – Loss of Spirit and Confidence • Addictions – Loss of Control and Free Agency • Guilt that Creates Barriers to Progress • Inability to Fully Enjoy the Blessings of the Temple • Abuse and its Effects • Self Esteem • Guilt • Perpetuation into Future Generations

9. Serious Concerns • Depression • Suicide • Giving up on Life • Anxiety, OCD, Eating Disorders, Cutting • Stress • Withdrawal from others • Guilt • Lack of self confidence • Lack of Social Skills and Friendship • Loneliness • Withdrawal from others

10. Serious Concerns – Left Unresolved? • Loss of blessings that attend each commandment • Loss of spiritual promptings • Loss of confidence & self esteem • Loss of control & motivation • Loss of trust • Ongoing guilt All are barriers to Temple Marriage and full enjoyment of the blessings available to Church members.

11. Do you see a Spiritual Hospital or a Dating Service ?? • Few serious concerns = Dating Service • A lot of activities & large group mixers • Little, if any, opportunities to serve • Ward FHE • Regular admonitions to date and get married • Interviews only when absolutely necessary, by request. • No need to change our approach • Many serious concerns = Spiritual Hospital • Frequent & deep interviews with every member • Bringing members to Christ through the power of the atonement. • Meaningful callings and leadership opportunities for each member • Spiritual experiences and training in ways to get and keep the spirit. • Assistance in overcoming the affects of abuse, depression, anxiety, etc. • A critical need to change our approach

12. Needs of Single Adults “Every new member needs a friend, a calling, and to be nurtured with the good word of God.” – Gordon B. Hinckley “Priesthood leaders consult with members to understand their needs and then make plans to meet the need.” - Church Handbook of Instructions

13. Four basic needs of young single adult members • Friendship & association with other active single adults • Opportunities to serve in the kingdom • Nurtured with the good word of God • Help from priesthood leaders in overcoming the effects of sin, abuse, depression, addictions, and other personal problems.

14. Needs of Single Adults • Friendship and association with other active single adults • “one friend equals five therapists” • Positive peer to peer experiences • Reinforcement of gospel direction with peer group • Opportunities to serve in the kingdom • Leadership experience • Involvement in ward councils • Service to others = opportunity to get outside of self

15. Needs of Single Adults • Nurtured with the Good Word of God • Spiritual meetings and lessons • Holy habits and righteous routines – A spiritual challenge. • Teach the basics of the gospel • Experiences with the spirit

16. Needs of Single Adults • Help from priesthood leaders in overcoming the effects of sin, abuse, depression, addictions, and other personal problems. • A safe place to get help and make changes • Easier to change now than in later years. • Much better to deal with these issues now than when married with children • Regular meetings with bishop and or councilors builds confidence, sense of security, testimony. • Temple worship – always part of the solution • Referrals to professionals, group sessions, as needed.

17. Six recommendations to meet the needs of single adults • The bishop and his councilors regularly meet one-on-one with each and every member of the ward. • The bishop devotes a significant portion of his time in assisting members who are repenting in the development of “holy habits and righteous routines”. • The ward is largely organized and administered by the young single adult members themselves. • Every member is given the opportunity to serve in a meaningful calling, each semester. • Leaders devote significant time in teaching members how to get and keep the spirit. Members are challenged to live to a higher standard. • Ward and stake leaders develop and rely upon a clear set of measures to monitor progress and to develop improvement plans.

18. #1- One-on-One Interviews with Priesthood Leaders • Frequent and Deep Interviews with the Bishop • Every Member – Every Six Months • Minimum ½ Hour • Never Rushed – Sometimes 1-2 hour interviews • Member Encouraged to do Most of the Talking • Open-ended questions. Listen, Listen, Listen • Frequent and Deep Interviews with Bishop’s Councilors • Every Member – Every Six Months • Bishop and Councilors Frequently (Regularly) Meets with Members with Serious Problems: Sin, Abuse, Depression, etc.

19. #2 – Bishop Follow-up Interviews • Create a specific plan for helping the member overcome their problems and move forward with faith. Includes ongoing return and report meetings with the bishop. • Assigns reading and spiritual activities such as temple attendance, temple ground visits, service, etc. – Member returns and reports. • Kneeling prayer. Gospel discussion. Optimism. • Work to ensure a spiritual experience with each visit. • Use programs such as pornography group sessions, therapy, etc.

20. #3-4 – Leadership opportunities and meaningful callings. • Leadership & ministering opportunities • Smaller Elders Quorums and Relief Societies • Young single adult clerks and secretaries • Conducting all ward meetings except Sacrament Meeting. • Meaningful callings & opportunity for friendship • Councils – Three fold mission councils • Councils – Auxiliaries • Council leaders – Male and Female leaders

21. Ward Demographics Brothers = 60 Sisters = 100 Total Members = 160 Callings Leadership Callings = 59 Other Callings = 101 Total Callings =160

22. Bishopric YSA Leaders = 2 Members = 6 Total Callings = 8

23. The advantage of smaller quorums and relief societies. • One presidency for each 30 persons • Staffed by single adults • Greater emphasis on home and visit teaching • Allows more opportunities to serve and lead • Allows more realistic ability to find “lost” single adults • Allows more realistic ability to personally minister to singles; by their own peer group.

24. Quorums & Relief Society Leaders: 15 Members: 15 Total Callings: 30

25. What is a Three Fold Mission Council? • Small group of individuals (male & female) called for a period of time to focus on one of the six major elements of the three fold mission • Temple work • Family history work • Missionary work • Fellowship • Spiritual welfare • Temporal welfare • Led by a chair and co-chair – male and female • Small group – approximately 10 people on a council • Meets each week – develops a plan to meet the key objectives of their council. Works to carry out that plan • Reports progress and accomplishments in ward council each month. Redeem The Dead Proclaim The Gospel Perfect The Saints

26. Redeem the DeadTemple & Family History • Temple Council – Increase Temple Attendance • Temple Workers • Baptism Excursions • Endowment Sessions • Family History Council – Increase Family History Work • Names for Temple Work • Journals • Personal Four Generation Work • Research of Family History

27. Proclaim the GospelMissionary & Fellowship • Missionary Council – Increase Personal and Ward Missionary Work • Encourage Missions • Find and Teach Non-Members in the Ward Boundaries • Support the Full Time Missionaries • Fellowship Council – Increase Friendship and Activity • Find and Fellowship Less Active Members • Sponsor Small and Large Group Activities • Friendship to all Members

28. Perfect the SaintsSpiritual & Temporal Welfare • Spiritual Welfare Council – Increase Personal Spirituality through Gospel Study and Service • Encourage Personal Study of Scriptures, Prayer, etc. • Individual and Group Service Opportunities • Helps Bishopric with Coordination of Sunday Meetings and Music • Temporal Welfare Council – Increase the Temporal Welfare of each Member • Employment • Education • Personal Preparation • Personal Finance

29. What is an Auxiliary Council? • Small group of individuals (male & female) called for a period of time to focus on one of the five auxiliary areas below • Sunday School • Family Home Evening • Music • Activities • Publicity • Led by a chair and co-chair – male and female • Small group – approximately 10 people on a council • Meets each week – develops a plan to meet the key objectives of their council. Works to carry out that plan • Reports progress and accomplishments in ward council each month.

30. Councils Leaders = 42 Members = 80 Total Callings = 122

31. The advantage of councils • More callings – more leadership • Friendship - small groups doing service together. “Anxiously engaged in a good cause”. • More involvement in PEC, Ward Council, etc. • More input and direction from the members • Focus on three fold mission • Teaches the basics of leadership in the church • Increases the spirituality of the ward • Experience with meaningful callings

32. Ward Demographics Brothers = 60 Sisters = 100 Total Members = 160 Callings Leadership Callings = 59 Other Callings = 101 Total Callings =160

33. #5 --“If I were a bishop or stake president today, what would I do? I think that I would try to put my major efforts on building the spirituality of the people.” Gordon B. Hinckley • Sacrament Meeting • Focus on Christ and atonement • Two musical numbers • Fundamentals of the gospel • Gospel Doctrine Classes • More mature single adult instructors • Stick to the topics and the manual • No other classes that may detract from the spirit • A Spiritual Challenge • Daily, Weekly & Monthly habits and routines

34. “The List”

35. #6 -- “When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported back, the rate of improvement accelerates.” Thomas S. Monson • Clearly define the measures: • Sacrament Meeting attendance • Home & Visit teaching • Priesthood and Relief Society attendance • Council meeting attendance • Tithing & Fast Offerings • Temple Recommends • Monitor progress by individual not just by group. • Frequently (weekly) review progress on each metric. • Make and carry out immediate plans to meet the need of the individual.

36. Results of one ward • Sacrament meeting improved to 90% (includes visitors) • Priesthood attendance improved from 69% to 81% • Relief Society attendance improved from 66% to 83% • Home Teaching improved from 76% to 95% • Visit teaching improved from 79% to 96% • Fast offering increased from an average of $4.77 per person to $20.92 per person • Missionaries sent out increased from 11 per year to 15 per year. • Temple workers increased from an average of 32 per year to 44 per year. • Two convert baptisms occurred in one year. • 56 persons received help overcoming the affects of abuse • Approximately 200 persons received help in overcoming the effects of sin and addiction

37. End of Presentation

38. Supplemental Slides

39. Single Adult Wards • Smaller Wards – Maximum of 160 Members • Mandatory for Every Single Adult age 18-30 • All Temple Recommends and Tithing Settlements must be Through the Single Adult Bishop • Specific Location Boundaries – Ward Hopping not Allowed • Help from SLC in Finding Single Adults whose Records are “lost” or listed in a Home Ward • Records then Transferred to the Single Adult Ward where the Single is currently located.

40. Recommendations to Meet the Needs of Single Adults • Improve Selection and Training of Bishops and Councilors. • Selection: Capability, Time, Interest • Training: Interview Skills, Abuse, Repentance Process, Shadow Leadership, Measures, etc. • Organizational Structure that Supports Single Adult Needs • Smaller Elders Quorums and Relief Societies • Small Group Callings (Councils) Organized Around the Three Fold Mission of the Church • Smaller Single Adult Wards • Single Adult Stakes

41. Selection of Bishop’s & Councilors • Capability • Understanding of Young Adult needs • Ability to relate to this group • Strong Background in the Gospel • Good listening and communication skills • Time & Means • Ability to devote 20-30 hours per week to the calling • Support from Spouse for this kind of commitment • Desire • Wants to make a difference • Energy for the calling

42. Training needed for Bishops and Councilors • How to conduct interviews (see next) • How to help a member through the process of repentance. • How to help a member work through the effects of abuse • How to delegate and provide shadow leadership • How to use measures to improve performance Recognize that the Lord will bring his children to a place where they can feel his spirit and be healed. Therefore Bishops need to be prepared.

43. Training needed for Bishops and Councilors… Continued • How to help members to overcome pornography and other addictions • How to use councils and the three fold mission to enhance friendship, service in the kingdom and spirituality. • How to train and utilize young adult leaders • Do’s and Don’ts when working with single adults • How to deal with Depression, Anxiety, & Loneliness

44. Other Training Needs • Stake Presidents • Training of Bishops and Councilors (See above) • How to select Bishops who have the Time, Skills and Motivation for this Work • Single Adult Concerns and Needs • Use of Fast Offering Funds to help with Abuse, Depression, etc. • Working through the Process of Repentance • Consistency between Priesthood Leaders

45. Other Training Needs • Student Leaders • Ministering to the One – How to recognize a need and then make plans (and carry out the plans) to meet that need. • Leadership Basics • Council with our Councils • Meeting Management • Interview Skills • Members • How to Make and Keep Friends • How to Overcome the Effects of Sin, Abuse, Depression, etc. • How to Find an Eternal Companion • How to Lead, Serve and Magnify Callings • The Basics of the Gospel • How to recognize the Promptings of the Spirit

46. Topics for Discussion • Serious concerns facing young single adults • A Spiritual Hospital vs. a Dating Service • The needs of young single adults • Six recommendations for improving the outlook for young single adults

47. Serious Concerns • Testimony & Activity • Worthiness • Abuse and its effects • Depression, Anxiety, Loneliness All are barriers to Temple Marriage and full enjoyment of the blessings available to Church members.