The Importance of Negotiation Skills in Special Education Advocacy

1. The Importance of Negotiation Skills in Special Education Advocacy Dr. George Giuliani National Association of Special Education Teachers Hofstra University

2. Overview of Negotiation • Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everybody at a special education IEP meeting (or any type of special education related meeting) thought the way you did? Or agreed to everything you proposed for your clients? Nice idea, but life rarely works that way. • Because being a special education advocate will require different ideas and proposals being addressed, it is critical for special education advocates to be skilled at the art of negotiation. • This lecture will focus primarily on negotiation techniques that can help you be a more effective advocate in the field of special education advocacy

3. Overview of Negotiation • Very few people actually like to negotiate. That's why so few people are good at negotiating. • Negotiating is a critical piece in the world of advocacy. • Negotiation is a method by which people settle differences. It is a process by which compromise or agreement is reached while avoiding argument and dispute. • In any disagreement, individuals understandably aim to achieve the best possible outcome for their position. However, the principles of fairness, seeking mutual benefit and maintaining a relationship are the keys to a successful outcome. • Fortunately, negotiating has less to do with competition than simply communicating: explaining the logic and benefits of a position, convincing others that an idea or premise makes sense, showing people how a decision will generate a desired return, helping people understand the benefits of what you are requesting, is an art that can be learned • In essence, negotiation skills are communication skills.

4. Overview of Negotiation • The authors of Getting to Yes define negotiatingas a “back-and-forth communication designed to reach an agreement when you and the other side have some interests that are shared and others that are opposed.” • Other experts define negotiation using similar terms. In her negotiation textbook The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator, Leigh Thompson refers to negotiation as an “interpersonal decision-making process” that is “necessary whenever we cannot achieve our objectives single-handedly.” • And in their book Judgment in Managerial Decision Making, Max H. Bazerman and Don A. Moore write, “When two or more parties need to reach a joint decision but have different preferences, they negotiate.” • Together, these definitions encompass the wide range of negotiations we carry out in our personal lives, at work, and with strangers or acquaintances.

5. Stages of Negotiation • In order to achieve a desirable outcome, it may be useful to follow a structured approach to negotiation. The process of negotiation normally includes the following 6 stages: • Preparation • Discussion • Clarification of goals • Negotiate towards a Win-Win outcome • Agreement • Implementation of a course of action

6. Stages of Negotiation Stage 1. Preparation • Before any negotiation takes place, a decision needs to be taken as to when and where a meeting will take place to discuss the problem and who will attend.  Setting a limited time-scale can also be helpful to prevent the disagreement continuing. • This stage involves ensuring all the pertinent facts of the situation are known in order to clarify your own position.  • Undertaking preparation before discussing the disagreement will help to avoid further conflict and unnecessarily wasting time during the meeting. • Before entering any formal negotiation, it is important for you to think about what you want to achieve from the process. To that end, it makes sense to put on paper specific goals or desirable outcomes. Be optimistic. Ask yourself what would be a "home run" in your deal? This could be as simple as the other party conceding entirely to your wishes.

7. Stages of Negotiation Stage 2. Discussion • During this stage, individuals or members of each side put forward the case as they see it, i.e. their understanding of the situation.  • Key skills during this stage include questioning, listening and clarifying • Sometimes it is helpful to take notes during the discussion stage to record all points put forward in case there is need for further clarification.  • It is extremely important to listen, as when disagreement takes place it is easy to make the mistake of saying too much and listening too little.  Each side should have an equal opportunity to present their case.

8. Stages of Negotiation Stage 3. Clarifying Goals • From the discussion, the goals, interests and viewpoints of both sides of the disagreement need to be clarified.  • It is helpful to list these factors in order of priority.  Through this clarification it is often possible to identify or establish some common ground. • Clarification is an essential part of the negotiation process, without it misunderstandings are likely to occur which may cause problems and barriers to reaching a beneficial outcome.

9. Stages of Negotiation Stage 4. Negotiate Towards a Win-Win Outcome • This stage focuses on what is termed a 'win-win' outcome where both sides feel they have gained something positive through the process of negotiation and both sides feel their point of view has been taken into consideration.  • A win-win outcome is usually the best result. Although this may not always be possible, through negotiation, it should be the ultimate goal. • Suggestions of alternative strategies and compromises need to be considered at this point.  • Compromises are often positive alternatives which can often achieve greater benefit for all concerned compared to holding to the original positions.

10. Stages of Negotiation Stage 5. Agreement • Agreement can be achieved once understanding of both sides’ viewpoints and interests have been considered.  • It is essential to for everybody involved to keep an open mind in order to achieve an acceptable solution.  • Any agreement needs to be made perfectly clear so that both sides know what has been decided. Stage 6: Implementation of a course of action Once an agreement has been made, it is critical that you follow up and be sure that what was agreed to is actually being implemented.

11. Stages of Negotiation Failure to Agree • If the process of negotiation breaks down and agreement cannot be reached, then re-scheduling a further meeting is called for.  • This avoids all parties becoming embroiled in heated discussion or argument, which not only wastes time but can also damage future relationships. • At the subsequent meeting, the stages of negotiation should be repeated.  Any new ideas or interests should be taken into account and the situation looked at afresh.  • At this stage it may also be helpful to look at other alternative solutions and/or bring in another person to mediate.

12. Negotiation Techniques Don't be afraid to ask for what you want.  • Successful negotiators are assertive. Being assertive means asking for what you want • Practice expressing your feelings without anxiety or anger. Let people know what you want in a non-threatening way. • Note that there is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. You are assertive when you take care of your own interests while maintaining respect for the interests of others. • When you see to your own interests with a lack of regard for other people's interests, you are aggressive. Being assertive is part of negotiation consciousness.

13. Negotiation Techniques Listen, Listen, and Listen. • Negotiators are detectives. They ask probing questions and then listen. The other side will tell you everything you need to know – all you have to do is listen.Many conflicts can be resolved easily if we learn how to listen. The catch is that listening is the forgotten art. We are so busy making sure that people hear what we have to say that we forget to listen. • You can become an effective listener by allowing the other person to do most of the talking. Follow the 70/30 Rule – listen 70 percent of the time, and talk only 30 percent of the time. • Encourage the other negotiator to talk by asking lots of open-ended questions – questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."

14. Negotiation Techniques • Most of us talk a lot when we're nervous, but when we talk a lot, we miss a lot. • Listen and think more than you speak. You can't meet in the middle, much less on your side of the middle, unless you know what other people really need. • Always remember that there is a rhythm to everything. Don’t push it. Oftentimes, it is best to say nothing. • Never forget that silent pauses can be a very powerful tool. Give yourself and others the time and space to reflect upon everything that has been said. • Don’t rush it. Try to sense the natural and appropriate rhythm of all the people at the table, including yourself.

15. Negotiation Techniques Always be willing to walk away. • In other words, never negotiate without options. If you depend too much on the positive outcome of a negotiation, you lose your ability to say NO. • When you say to yourself, "I will walk if I can't conclude a deal that is satisfactory," the other side can tell that you mean business. Your resolve will force them to make concessions. • Always be willing to walk away." Please note that I am not advising you to walk away, but if you don't even consider the option of walking away, you may be inclined to cave in to the other side's demands simply to make a deal.

16. Negotiation Techniques Don't be in a hurry. • Being patient is very difficult for Americans. We want to get it over with. • Even though you may hate everything about negotiating, never try to wrap a negotiation up as soon as possible just to be done with it. Haste always results in negotiation waste. • If you rush, you are more likely to make mistakes. • Whoever is more flexible about time has the advantage. • Your patience can be devastating to the other negotiator if they are in a hurry because they start to believe that you are not under pressure to conclude the deal. So what do they do? They offer concessions as a means of providing you with an incentive to say YES.

17. Negotiation Techniques Aim high and expect the best outcome. • Successful negotiators are optimists. If you expect more, you'll get more. • People who aim higher do better. Your optimism will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. • Conversely, if you have low expectations, you will probably wind up with a less satisfying outcome. • Definitely plan for the worst, but always expect the best. • High expectations typically lead to high outcomes. Always go into the negotiation assuming you can get what you want. • After all, you will never get what you want if you don't ask for what you want. Always ask for what you want.

18. Negotiation Techniques Don't take the issues or the other person's behavior personally. • All too often negotiations fail because one or both of the parties get sidetracked by personal issues unrelated to the deal at hand. • Obsessing over the other negotiator's personality, or over issues that are not directly pertinent to making a deal, can sabotage a negotiation. • If someone is rude or difficult to deal with, try to understand his/her behavior and don't take it personally. • The bolder, the louder, the more emotional a statement might be, the more likely that statement is either a bullying tactic or a sign of insecurity. (Or, often, both.) • Successful negotiators focus on solving the problem, which is: How can we conclude an agreement that respects the needs of both parties?

19. Negotiation Techniques You shouldn't see a negotiation as a competition. • Negotiating isn't a game to be won or lost. • The best negotiation leaves both people feeling they received something of value. • Don't try to be a ruthless negotiator; you're not built that way. • Remember: Keep the discussion results-oriented not on “winning” or getting caught up in the emotions of the situation

20. Negotiation Techniques Establish valuable relationships. • Always think about how what you say and do can help establish a long-term relationship. • Be on the lookout for things you and the other party share in common. When you can share a common interest or find a common ground with another person, they'll have a harder time being in confrontation with you • One way another party will seek to end a negotiation before you can get what you need/want is to offer a counter–or objection—to your proposal. • Acknowledging objections makes the other person feel heard and avoids ending the discussion, thereby creating a better and stronger potential relationship

21. Negotiation Techniques • Acknowledging objections makes the other person feel heard and avoids ending the discussion, thereby creating a better and stronger potential relationship • Honesty, integrity and dignity are palpable qualities, and the foundation upon which constructive negotiations are built. • You are best positioned to negotiate when the other party respects you, not only as an advocate, but as a human being. • Trust, which is gained through that respect, is the key to successful negotiation. • A long-term relationship not only makes negotiating easier the next time.

22. Negotiation Techniques Seek a Win-Win Outcome • How many times are you so focused on getting what you want in a negotiation, you don’t even think about the other person? Aren’t you supposed to knock the other out and take it all?! No…In reality–the “win-win” negotiators seem to have the most success. • Win-wins are the only way to go. If you approach a negotiation thinking only of yourself, you are a terrible negotiator. • Understanding what all parties need, and working for all concerned is vital. Keep in mind that seeing things in only black and white (win-lose) creates limited thinking; creativity is essential to good negotiation. • Ultimately, all people involved should find themselves on the same side of the fence. You want to be a player, not a pain. Keep your eye on the big picture and don’t get caught up in the small stuff. Stay out of the weeds.

23. Negotiation Techniques Choose 'honey over vinegar.' • You’ll do better with honey than with vinegar -- but the honey must be genuine. • Never underestimate the natural ability of other people to sense who you really are. • Disingenuous, manipulative and secretive are feelings that simply cannot be hidden. • When negotiating, you too can sense if the other party's values are subpar or lack integrity altogether. No greater red flag exists in the entire arena of negotiation.

24. Negotiation Techniques Embody your inner adult. • Never forget that everyone has an inner adult and an inner child. • It is remarkable to witness how negotiations break down because someone at the table starts thinking childishly, instigating that behavior in others. • When you see this happening, keep in mind that everyone goes out of balance. • Be the stable anchor, the respectful adult at the table. • Helping people come back into balance is often best done by example. Take the high road, embodying your inner adult. • Don’t argue; instead, understand.

25. Negotiation Techniques Be Wise, Not Smart • “Always show respect and understanding for the other party,” • Framing the negotiation around mutual interests rather than your interest alone helps both sides feel good about it. • And if you’re respectful, it’s more likely the other side will reciprocate. • Rather than looking for short-term gratification that bolsters the ego—like assuming a power posture or making a joke at another’s expense—keep your eye trained on the end result.

26. Conclusion • By implementing the negotiation techniques discussed in this lecture, you will be well on your way to mastering the art of negotiation. • Negotiation is all about relationships. By cultivating and maintaining a good rapport with everyone at the table, every player can win. You’re not just creating an agreement, you are cultivating a long-term relationship as well as a reputation. • A negotiation is a strategic discussion that resolves an issue in a way that both parties find acceptable. • Things to consider before and during negotiations include justifying your position, putting yourself in the other party's shoes, keeping your emotions in check, and knowing when to walk away. • By mastering the subtle art of negotiation, you establish yourself as an effective and respected advocate, and that in itself may lead to even greater opportunities in the future.