Restitution and Self-Discipline: Cultivating Positive Behavioral Changes in Schools

1. Restitution: Restructuring School Discipline By Diane Chelsom Gossen

2. Based on William Glasser’s Reality Therapy and Control Theory

3. We all have the same basic needs • Belonging • Power • Freedom • Fun • Survival

4. All behavior is an attempt to meet one of these needs. When a child demonstrates behavior that is inappropriate, our role is to help them meet their need in a more acceptable manner.

5. What roles do we play?

6. Who would say . . .?You never get it right.

7. Who would say . . .?Do it for me.

8. Who would say . . .?Do you want a happy face sticker today?

9. Who would say . . .?You’re always the last one to finish.

10. Who would say . . .?How can you solve this problem?

11. Who would say . . . ?You never get it right.

12. Who would say . . . ?How many times have I told you?

13. Who would say . . . ?You won’t get a star if you don’t finish.

14. Who would say . . . ?Remember what I did for you?

15. Who would say . . . ?What do you believe about how we treat each other?

16. The Illusions of Control • The Illusion that we can control the student. • The Illusion that All Positive Reinforcement Works and Is Beneficial. • The Illusion that Criticism and Guilt Build Character. • The Illusion that Adults have the Right of Coerce Children.

17. If you try to enforce duty only by the sword of state, you never create a moral being who has any interest in compliance or who feels obligated to do anything other than simply avoid the penalties of law.--Benjamin Barber

18. Mistakes happen; accidents are a part of life. Restitution is about making things better. Restitution enables the individual to reclaim self-esteem through personal effort. Restitution benefits the person wronged. It also benefits the person who has done the wrong. Forgiveness is not the same as Restitution. The Basic Beliefs Behind Restitution:

19. It’s okay to make a mistake. Now what are you going to do to fix it? It’s all right to say you’re sorry. Now what are you going to do to fix it? You’re not the only one. I know you didn’t mean for it to turn out this way. I’m not interested in your mistake—I’m interested in what you’re going to do about it. What does Restitution Sound Like?

20. A good restitution : • It will be seen by the victim as adequate compensation. • It will require effort. • It does not in any way encourage repetition.

21. An exceptional restitution will also have these characteristics: • It will be relevant to the general area of the mistake. • It will be tied to a higher value or mission statement so the child doesn’t see the restitution as an isolated event, but part of a larger picture of how people treat each other. • It strengthens the child.

22. Successful Restitution is also characterized by the lack of certain negative behaviors in the adult: • Restraint of criticism, guilt, anger. • Lack of feeling in the helping adult of resentment or being overextended.

23. Satisfactory amend to the victim. Effort required. Little incentive for repetition. Relevant to the “situation” where possible. Tied to a higher value, mission statement. Strengthens the offender. No resentment by adult. Restraint of criticism, guilt, or anger. Analyze some examples for the following:

24. Restitution Options: • Fix • Pay back • Say two positives about person • Give time in lieu

25. Moving Toward a Self-Discipline

26. Hold Fast to Your Values and Let the Rest Go

27. If he sits with his feet on the floor. If she chews gum or not? If they are silent while working? If they want to change seats? If she writes neatly? If he wears an earring? If she has a clean desk? If he hands in an assignment late? If she shows up on time? Does it really matter?

28. Yes, If . . . • Say “Yes” as often as you can. • If you can’t say “Yes,” say “Yes, if . . .” and add the condition necessary to be able to say yes to the person. • When you say “No,” give the child your reason and don’t change your mind.

29. May I sharpen my pencil? • No, you should’ve done that before class. • Yes, if there is no one else at the sharpener and I am not talking.

30. May we listen to the radio? • No, because it would be too distracting. • Yes, if everyone is on task.

31. May we go to Disney World? • No, it’s too expensive and we have no chaperones. • Yes, if you can raise the money, get chaperones and do the study in advance.

32. Complain to Me! • How do you want it to be? (Instead of how you don’t want it to be.) Can you control this? • What have you been doing to get what you want? • Is it working? • Do you want to figure out a better way?

33. My Job is To . . . • Exercise developed jointly between the teacher and the students • Sets out the role of the teacher and the students • Gives the students the concept of the limitations and roles of both the teacher and themselves

34. My Job is To . . . • Teach • Answer questions • Explain different ways • Be here on time • Go at pace you can learn • Enforce rules • Care

35. Your Job is To . . . • Learn • Keep on trying • Tell me if I go too fast • Follow the rules • Communicate your needs • Listen to me and others • Ask if you don’t understand

36. My Job is Not . . . • To take abuse • To babysit • To do your job • To lend money • To cover up

37. Your Job is Not . . . • To do my job • To decide for another child • To discipline others

38. This is how you get what you want from me • Word it as a question • Ask me • Raise your hand • Speak clearly • Be pleasant • Use logic • Tell me what you need

39. This doesn’t work on me • Crying • Whining • Arguing • Saying, “Everyone is doing it.”

40. Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best.”--Bob Talbert