Reading Between The Lines QRCA Annual Conference October 29, 2004

1. Reading Between The Lines QRCA Annual Conference October 29, 2004

2. Why They Don’t Just Say It • Respondents and clients do not explicitly express their true thoughts and feelings due to fear of: • Ridicule • Embarrassment • Rejection • They may be intimidated by terminology • They may feel social distance from others • Our efforts to put them at ease are unlikely to completely eliminate all inhibiting forces

3. Active Listening Is: • Much more than perking up your ears to hear the spoken words • Setting aside assumptions and personal biases • A practiced skill set: • Recognizing clues • Exploring clues • Responding to emotion

4. Active Listening Is: • Complimentary to body language and neurolinguistics • Comprehensive regarding all forms of communication • Words that are spoken =7% • Tone of voice = 3% • Body language = 60%

5. Recognize the Clues • Unshared ideas, concerns or expectations are likely to be reflected in or implied by recognizable clues • Clues may be spoken • Speech editing • Repetition of statement or phrase • Speech censorship or prolonged, reflective pauses

6. Recognize the Clues • Personal stories • Appear tangential or off track • Problem solving statements or questions • Represent an effort to resolve an unspoken issue • “Loaded” questions • Expressions of emotion • Direct • Projected • Vivid or heightened intensity

7. Recognize the Clues • Clues may be observed in behaviors • How respondents: • Examine a product • Work on a written exercise • How clients: • Manage the logistics of a meeting • Interact with other company or agency observers

8. Be Aware of Moderator Constraints • Time • Discussion guide • Meeting agenda • Fear of addressing the issue or emotion • Easier to avoid • Already know the answer • Lack of elicitation skills

9. Value of Clue Recognition and Follow Up • Uncover critical information that fulfills objectives and actually saves time • Similar to patient/physician interactions • Underlying concerns not addressed • Patient does not think real problem was addressed, so does not follow physician’s recommendations • Moderators experience “diagnostic” pitfalls, based on assumptions

10. Skills to Hone • Ask direct questions about feelings • “How do you feel about switching to a different brand?” • Reflect statements or behaviors • “You are frustrated. Help me understand why.” • “I notice your clenched fist. What are you feeling?”

11. Skills to Hone • Displacement • Shifting ownership of a thought or idea to others “Some people might be skeptical about this product. How do you feel about it?”

12. Skills to Hone • Normalizing • Acknowledge expression of emotion “I see this makes you angry.” • Legitimize the emotion “Anger is one of the possible reactions people have to this issue.”

13. Skills to Hone • Hypothesizing • Formulate a potential reaction and test it “I wonder if you are feeling overwhelmed by this?”

14. Skills to Hone • Respond non-verbally • Use timely and appropriate silences • Create a void • This opens the door for someone else to jump in with what they are thinking or feeling

15. Benefits of Active Listening • Greater depth of insights • Reached faster and more efficiently • Smoother and more satisfying relationships with clients • Skills are also useful in family and personal relationships

16. Benefits of Active Listening A good moderator brings added value beyond just covering each point on the discussion guide or meeting agenda. Active listening skills can be used to reveal truths that make a difference.

17. Benefits of Active Listening(adapted from Peter Drucker) • Some moderators make things happen • Some moderators watch things happen • Some moderators wonder what happened _____________________ The difference is active listening