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Interpersonal Feedback. Issues and skills for.. Sharing the impacts of behavior Ask for it!. Johari window. In General. Positive feedback Hardly anybody gets enough Besides listening, providing + feedback is a key skill for winning Negative feedback
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Interpersonal Feedback • Issues and skills for.. • Sharing the impacts of behavior • Ask for it!
In General • Positive feedback • Hardly anybody gets enough • Besides listening, providing + feedback is a key skill for winning • Negative feedback • Hard to deliver - especially blind or hidden • But it rarely helps to avoid the news • Useful if constructive • Usually as much about the giver as the receiver
Questions - pick one • What conditions makes it easier to provide constructive feedback to another person? • Why do team members and managers rarely ask for feedback? • What does the ‘receiver’ need to keep in mind or do in order to realize value from feedback? • How can you make your feedback ‘constructive’?
The Key Points: • Be descriptive and specific • Share feelings and the impact on you! (it’s never about ‘truth’ or the other person.. It’s your perception) • Share where there is trust; ask first • Whether Positive or Negative, Feedback is sharing about YOU, not judging THEM.
Learn By Doing • Think of something someone outside of your group has done that you valued (not Steve!) • Think of a specific example, and what you felt or liked • Go share the positive feedback NOW! Thanks!
Feedback ..when we need to be careful.. • Always be as supportive as you can, but don’t ‘collude’ by discounting yourself • Frame feedback as questions.. Be open to learning • Honor the common values and purposes
Some Steps in being careful.. • Step 1: Set the stage by asking if the person wants feedback • Say that you want to talk about the behavior or incident, not the person • Admit that it's not easy • Acknowledge strengths and personal potential • Share in order to help them get to their, our shared goals • Share questions in order to understand
Step 2: Describe objectively the event, behavior, or incident • Do not be general • Avoid accusations (mind-messing)
Step 3: Describe your feelings and concerns • Focus on the behavior and your reaction — not on the individual or their personality • What happened, and what were you afraid that it might mean? • What was it that you both wanted which might have been sacrificed?
Step 4: Suggest an alternative for the future • Be prepared to discuss additional alternatives • Keep the discussion on what you both want. • Keep the discussion on solutions, not who is right.
Applications to Management • Performance Appraisal is mandated from on high; it's rarely performed among executives. • Most research shows more negative effects from performance appraisal than positive ones • Clarifying expectations ahead of time is usually smart; ask to know how you’ll be evaluated. You know what “assume” means? • Case and incident approaches facilitate learning • People usually need feedback from somebody other than the boss • Recognition programs work
Share and learn! Bottom Lines • Enrich lives by providing more positive feedback • Asking for constructive feedback makes you a stronger person • People respect those who genuinely want feedback • Committing to authentic relationships is healthier than collusion • There is hardly any other way to grow Ask and grow!
Live and learn • How will you practice feedback skills today? • Interpersonal Perception Worksheet -- what a gas! Let's do it!