SWISH! #1

1. Choose three sentences below, and rewrite each one so that you are showing and not telling. Replace the boring, non-descriptive words with ones that will appeal to some of the six senses. For example, the telling sentence is: “The man was angry.” A good showing sentence would be: “The belligerent, crimson-faced truck driver slammed his fists repeatedly on the diner’s marble counter.” In other words, instead of saying someone is angry, show us that someone is angry. Be prepared to share one. Underline or highlight key imagery words. SWISH! #1 Introduction to Imagery

2. The classroom was quiet. The pizza was good. It was a nice day. We had fun at the beach. The movie was great. The building was huge. The roller coaster was fun. The music was loud. The guests enjoyed a delicious meal. The house was spooky. The teenager looked odd.

3. SWISH! #2 More Imagery Below is a list of objects. Select one and create a very short, yet vivid, scene. Use only details that apply to the sense of touch. For example, If the object was a rock, I might write the following: “I found the obsidian rock to be most fascinating. When dry, it was smooth, yet sharp in a few select places. However, when I got it wet, it took on a slimy, almost gooey, personality.Then, select another object and create a scene that appeals to the sense of sound. “The antique chair creaked and groaned under the weight of Girtha Rotunda.”

4. Finally, select one more object and create a scene that appeals to the sense of smell. Choices: A basketball game A parade A river A vacant lot A traffic jam A rock concert A bridge A forest A bus The halls at passing A fence A car accident An empty building A motorcycle A crowd at a sporting event

5. SWISH! #3 Frosh! Showing Through Anecdote Anecdote – a short amusing or interesting story about a real person or event Pick one of the examples from the next slide. Then, write an anecdote (75+ words) that would show a reader what the example is without telling the reader what the example is. If the example was “She loves cats”, you might start like this: Trudy has five cats, all of a different breed. She initially went to the pet store just to get one, but they were all so beautiful, cuddly, and frisky that she just had to get more. Nowadays, if

6. she’s not at school, she’s at home grooming, washing, or just plain playing with them. In fact, she often says, “Give me a cat over a human any day. Cats are clean, playful, and they never talk back.” You get the picture. 1. My mom is always there for me. 2. My dog is my best friend. 3. I always feel embarrassed around (insert name). 4. JoJo is always such a know-it-all. 5. My science teacher is bizarre. 6. I love Hugh more than anyone in the world. 7. School lunch is hazardous to your health. 8. I’m not the best driver in the world. Choices

7. Swish! #4 [Word Choice] Verbs of being are overused and lack the punch of many other verbs. Your assignment is to read the example on the next slide and get rid of all the “to be” verbs. A list of them follows: am, is, isn’t, was, wasn’t, were, weren’t, are, aren’t, be, being, been, had been, has been, was being, were being, is being, are being, am being Also, there are some words that are repeated often. Try to come up with different words to replace them. Use the right word, not the easy word.

8. There had just been a leak at the Melville County power plant. A puddle of bubbling ooze was laying on the ground by the plant. A man walked right into the puddle of ooze and was sucked into it. Directly after this event, a small frog hopped into the ooze and was also sucked in. There was a lot of bubbling and then up from the bubbling arose a man. But, it wasn’t a normal man, it was a frog man. He had normal feet, normal hands, a frog head, and he was green. am, is, isn’t, was, wasn’t, were, weren’t, are, aren’t, be, being, been, had been, has been, was being, were being, is being, are being, am being

9. Swish! #5 [Word Choice] Verbs of being are overused and lack the punch of many other verbs. Your assignment is to read the example on the next slide and get rid of all the “to be” verbs. Additionally, you’ll notice that the lengths of each sentence are about the same. For great writing, you want to vary sentence length. For example, some of these sentences could be combined to make just one sentence. Also, there are some words that are repeated often. Try to come up with different words to replace them. Use the right word, not the easy word.

10. I am a student at Reno High School. This is my eleventh week of school. I am going to the assembly this Friday in the gym. Assemblies are one of my favorite activities here at RHS. I am a member of Leadership. We are responsible to put on all of the assemblies. We are able to spend a lot of time carefully planning all of the activities. I am in charge of coming up with games for the students to play. The games are often messy, but most students are willing to play any game. RHS students are so full of school spirit. I am happy to be involved in something extracurricular here at school. I am proud to be a student here at RHS. am, is, isn’t, was, wasn’t, were, weren’t, are, aren’t, be, being, been, had been, has been, was being, were being, is being, are being, am being

11. SWISH! #6 – Word Choice [Word Choice] Verbs of being are overused and lack the punch of many other verbs. Your assignment is to read the example on the next slide and get rid of all the “to be” verbs. That is, rewrite each sentence replacing the “to be” verb with an active, more vivid verb. Also, feel free to move sentences around. Maybe the last sentence would work better as the second sentence and so on. Lastly, feel free to rearrange the words within a given sentence.

12. No one can predict how radically the personal computer is going to affect workers in the coming decades. Microcomputers are already in use by employees in homes and offices everywhere. Many who were fearful that computers would be likely to eliminate jobs are now coming to realize that they were wrong and that computers are a tool that will be changing the face of the workplace for the better. Not only that, but personal computers are helping to create new jobs that for many are exciting and promise to be jobs that pay well. am, is, isn’t, was, wasn’t, were, weren’t, are, aren’t, be, being, been, had been, has been, was being, were being, is being, are being, am being, to be

13. Swish! #? Below are two sentences. You are to begin your paragraph with the first one and end your paragraph with the second one. Here are the rules: 1] You may not use “to be” verbs. 2] You must have at least three lines of dialogue. 3] You must have at least 12 sentences total. 4] Use a good balance between showing and telling sentences. 5] Have at least two of the six types of imagery (underline them). [Word Choice] [Start] Grundo loved playing practical jokes. [End] After a while, Grundo had no friends at all.

14. Swish!#? [Word Choice] Adverbs, although good for beginning writers, invite vague (not clear enough, difficult to understand) description. Choose three of the adverbs listed below. Then, write a short showing paragraph (for each selection) that removes the offending adverb but gives great visual description. For example, if the adverbial phrase was “left quickly,” I might write the following: Gomer raced down the stairs; his alarm still buzzing in the background and bed-hair severely attached to his oval shaped dome. On his way to the door, he snatched up a donut and stuck it in his pocket, downed a small glass of orange juice, said goodbye to his mother, latched on to his backpack, threw open the door, and sprinted to the bus stop. He made it with three seconds to spare.

15. 1] shuffled slowly 2] moved slyly 3] responded sadly 4] lied deceptively 5] cutely shrugged 6] gazed dreamily 7] entered regally 8] played badly 9] prepared hastily 10] laughed hysterically 11] drove crazily 12] talked incessantly 13] asked relentlessly 14] denied vehemently 15] stated rudely 16] create one of your own

16. SWISH!#? [Audience & Voice] • Today, I’ll be reading you an excerpt from the J. Peterman Catalog. Then, you must think of your favorite article of clothing and write an entry on that piece of clothing as though it were going to be placed in the J. Peterman Catalog. Before you write, though, think about your audience. What VOICE should you use to address a person that would typically buy from this catalog? What VOICE should you use to address a person that would typically buy your product. The next slide is my example.

17. Back off, city slicker. This adornment is far too rugged for your dainty noggin. Only the eyes of the intrepid and untamed should peruse. Made with rich and intricate organic cotton, welcome this year’s Outback Sombrero. It commands respect like the kingly lion causes the rest of the animal kingdom to cower. Dazzling, vibrant, and vivid colors bring this must-have piece to life. Careful, though, gentlemen; ladies will be attracted to you like eyes to the late night campfire. Available in chestnut, tan, obsidian, khaki, and royal blue. Price: $87 Audience: Men who like to explore the wilderness.

18. SWISH #? Step One: Choose an animal from the first column Step Two: Choose a descriptor for this animal from column two Step Three: Choose a second animal in column one Step Four: Choose a descriptor for this second animal from column two Step Five: Now, compose a scene where the two animals interact somehow. Some examples are: a blind date, an argument, discussing the meaning of life, a marriage proposal, commenting on a painting, critiquing a play, movie, or band, etc. Step Six: Convey each animal’s personality descriptor so we can easily guess what it is. [Voice]