What Do I Want for My Child?

1. What Do I Want for My Child? Goals, Skills & Strategies Susan Hart Bell, M. S., Ph. D. and mother of Chad!

2. When my child gets older, I want him/her to …… • What dreams do you have? • Be happy…. • Be successful in school… • Have friends… • Have loving relationships… • Make healthy choices… • Have a good job… • Have a meaningful life… • Live independently… • Be safe… • Be creative…

3. Where is That Magic Wand? What is My Role in This? • It is not easy! • We love our children’s smiles….and hate to see them cry. • We want them to “behave” – not draw negative attention, but we don’t want them to obey every adult without question • We want them to follow directions, but still have their own ideas.

4. So….what skills are essential? • Age-appropriate/Developmentally appropriate…. • Self-sufficiency/independence • Sequence of skills in all domains - dressing, eating, bathing, health maintenance • Problem-solving skills • Goal identification, strategy development, assessing efficacy • Do we agree with our child’s goals – are they in the child’s best long-term interests? • Are the strategies socially acceptable, will they achieve the goal? • What help does our child actually need? • Do we let our children solve problems or do we try to solve them for them?

5. Social Skills – Most Critical for Future Success • A true strength for most of our children and adults with Down Syndrome! • Use verbal and nonverbal communication • Choose conversational topics of mutual interest • Take turns (dialogue not monologue) • Display empathy • Monitor verbal and nonverbal messages of partner

6. What are the School Skills most valued by Kindergarten teachers? • Listen • Follow simple directions • Imitate a model • Focus attention on a school-relevant task • Share materials • Control impulses for distraction • Willingness to try tasks • New • Non-preferred

7. Safety Skills Learn specific, concrete steps to follow in crisis situations • Identify authority figures and follow directions • Develop a healthy fear of dangerous situations • Pay attention to discomfort and distress – tell trusted others if someone is bothering them

8. Creativity • Enjoy/appreciate high quality sensory experiences • Cultivate innate sense of humor • Help child develop a keen sense of appropriate times to be creative/spontaneous

9. How do I teach a discrete skill in a sequence of skills? Select an age-appropriate, developmentally appropriate skill Be specific – if she performs this skill well, what will it look like? Build on solid foundational skills Teach language associated with the skill What actions/strategies are necessary? What prompts or “props” will help a child succeed? Don’t forget to celebrate!

10. Other ideas • Break large goals into small, manageable steps • Always prescribe action, not inaction…it’s easier to “do something” than not • Review and re-strategize failure • Concretize the process for more difficult goals • Be consistent - our children look to us for limits and direction, for strength • Choose comfortable, feasible strategies and consequences • Do it even when it’s hard and feels bad