SSR TIME

1. SSR TIME College Prep 4-8-13

2. YAY IMAGE GRAMMAR!!!!! • Refresher….. • Participles? • Definition and examples • Participial Phrases???? • Definition and examples

3. Painting with Participles • Participle: a verbal that functions as an adjective • Verbal: a verb form that functions in a sentence as a noun or modifier rather than as a verb. • A more simplified way to explain a participle is: “an ing verb tagged on the beginning or end of a sentence.”

4. Participial example • “Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.” • The participles evoke action. Suddenly, we can see the snakes coiling and slithering. We feel PART of the experience.

5. Participial Phrases • Participial Phrases: a participle along with any modifiers that complete the image. • Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that functions as an adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the meaning of another word or word group.

6. Combo example and explanation • “Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.” • Both methods (single participles and participial phrases) paint more detailed picture. • Using the single participles creates rapid movement, while expanded phrases add details at a slower, but equally intense pace.

7. Examples • “Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved.” • -Ernest Hemingway

8. Still Refresing • Absolutes??? • Definition and examples • Absolute Phrases??? • Definition and examples

9. Absolutes • Absolute: a two-word combination-a noun and an ingor edverb added onto a sentence. • Absolutes utilize verbs; therefore, this brush stroke also adds action to an image.

10. Examples • “The cat climbed the tree.” • Does this work? Does it show or tell?

11. Good example • “Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed the tree.” • Was this better? Show or tell?

12. Absolute phrases • Absolute phrases combine an absolute and a modifier. • Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that functions as an adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the meaning of another word or word group. • Absolute phrases are to absolutes as participial phrases are to participles.

13. Absolute Phrases Examples • “Feet trembling on the snow covered rocks, the mountain climber edged along the cliff.” • Which part of the sentence is the absolute and which is the modifier? • Which is the noun that the absolute phrase adjective(fies)?

14. Yep…still going • Appositives??? • Definition and Examples

15. Image Grammar #3Painting with Appositives • An appositive is: A word or phrase that clarifies the previous word or phrase and expands meaning. Created to make a statement more clear. • For our purposes: a noun that adds a second image to a preceding noun. • Like the absolute, the appositive expand details in the reader’s mind.

16. Why is this helpful now? • Well, all image grammar is helpful in all form of writing, but….. • Painting with appositives give clarity to your topic. This is especially helpful when writing a writer needs to make their subject especially clear

17. For Example • By adding a second image to the noun raccoon in the sentence “The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs,” the writer/artist can enhance the first image with a new perspective. • IS THIS BETTER:

18. CONT • “The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle eggs.” • Scavenger follows raccoon in the sentence; it’s set of with commas and enriches the image. • The appositive ZOOMS in on the subject, making the image more complete.

19. EVEN MORE DETAILS?! • Yes, tis true. You can add more! • “The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake shorelines in search for food, enjoys eating turtle eggs.” • Pretty rad!!!

20. …Which of these sounds better?!?! • “And then, suddenly, in the very dead of the night, there came a sound to my ears, clear, resonant, and unmistakable.” • OR • “And then, suddenly, in the very dead of night, there came a clear, resonant, unmistakable sound to my ears.”

21. Your opinion is wrong… • The first one is RAD!!!! This is how it is done. • It is how the masters do it. • But what is this called and how do we do it?!?!?!?!?!

22. Now for the new junk n stuff • “Adjectives out of order” • First off…what is an adjective????

23. Adjectives out of order • Adjectives out of order amplify the details of an image. • In an effort to pack as many details into an image as possible, we tend to overload our descriptions with too many adjectives: • “The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the intruder.” • Also, these adjective are “in-order”

24. A.O.O. • EXIT SLIP….YOU NEED ONE • So get out a piece of paper ya’ll • Lets come up with some phrases in which the adjective are in order (lets focus on using three) • PIC #1 • Pic #2

25. A.O.O. • When we want to avoid a three-in-a-row string or overloading an image, we can use adjectives out of order. • We can change our elementary sentence with two easy steps.

26. Steps • Step 1: Keep one adjective in place • Step 2: Shift the other two adjectives AFTER the noun

27. Example • Lets take our sentence: “The large, red-eyed, angrybull moose charged the intruder.” • Step 1: Keep the first adjective where it is and move the noun up next to it: • “The large bull moose…” • Step 2: Shift the other two adjectives BEHIND the noun: • “The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the intruder.”

28. Why is this better?? • The effect creates a spotlight and intensifies the image, giving it a profound rhythm instead of the elementary cadence of the original. • Simply put, like all our image grammar, this makes you sound MAD smart…

29. Lets look at how the masters do er • “The pavilion was a simple city, long and rectangular.” • Could be: “The pavilion was a simple, long, and rectangular city. • “I could smell Mama, crisp and starched, plumping my pillow, and the cool muslin pillowcase touched both my ears as the back of my head sank into all those feathers.”

30. How 8th graders do er • “The woman, old and wrinkled, smiled upon her newborn great-grandson with pride.” • “The boxer, twisted and tormented, felt no compassion for his contender.” • “The cheetah, tired and hungry, stared at the gazelle, which would soon become his dinner.”

31. Your turn • Rewrite your first two descriptions…and write an new one for the third • Pic 1 • Pic 2 • Pic 3 • I wanna hear ‘em!!!

32. YOUR TURN AGAIN!! • Using your body paragraphs out alcohol, rewrite a sentence using adjectives out of order. • Share it up…. • We want to hear what your sentence was originally AND what it is now.

33. Painting with Action Verbs • Verbs: action words…words that indicate movement • By eliminating PASSIVE VOICE and reducing “to be” verbs, writers can energize action images. • Verbs of passive voice communicate no action. • Typically, passive voice verbs require the help of a “to be” verb.

34. First…what are “to be” verbs • “To be” verbs: • is • am • are • was • were • be • being • been

35. What’s Wrong With This? • 1. The “to-be” verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been are state of being verbs, which means that they unduly claim a degree of permanence. For example, “I am hungry.” For most Americans, hunger is only a temporary condition. • 2. The “to-be” verbs claim absolute truth and exclude other views. “Classical music is very sophisticated.” Few would agree that all classical compositions are always sophisticated.

36. What’s Wrong With This? • 3. The “to-be” verbs are general and lack specificity. A mother may tell her child, “Be good at school today.” The more specific “Don’t talk when the teacher talks today” would probably work better. • 4. The “to-be” verbs are vague. For example, “That school is great.” Clarify the sentence as “That school has wonderful teachers, terrific students, and supportive parents.” • 5. The “to-be” verbs often confuse the reader about the subject of the sentence. For example, “It was nice of you to visit.” Who or what is the “It?”

37. Passive Voice Examples • “The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, white-whiskered rancher.” • “The grocery store was robbed by two armed men.” • Notice how the word “by” signals the noun performing the action. Passive voice can weaken images by freezing the action. • How could we fix these????? • Write them on your exit ticket.

38. Fixes • We swap out our “to be” verbs (“was ridden” and “was robbed”) • “The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.” • “Two armed men robbed the grocery store.”

39. More passive voice • Even when not used as a part of a passive voice, “to be” verbs slow the action and tend to link complements that TELL. (SHOW DON’T TELL!!!!) • We can improve our writing (“effective word choice”) when we replace as many “to be” verbs as possible. • Action verbs replace still photos with motion pictures. • “The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.” • “The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.”

40. Our turn • Change our passive sentence into and active sentence using action verbs. • “The biker was in the air.” • Pic #1

41. Our turn • Change our passive sentence into and active sentence using action verbs. • “The car is on fire.” • Pic #2

42. Our turn • Change our passive sentence into and active sentence using action verbs. • “The cop was killed by the explosion.” • Pic #3

43. But…. • Not ALL “to be” verbs can be eliminated…if we cannot easily replace our “to be” verb, maybe it belongs in the sentence.