Spirituality, Theology & Health Seminar, Durham SPIRITUALITY and tRAUMA

1. Spirituality, Theology & Health Seminar, DurhamSPIRITUALITY and tRAUMA

2. The Scarred christ/christa Embodiment as the key to the effects of trauma on our spirituality ...embodiment (is) a metaphor for the activity and agency of God in the world. (Mary Grey) Witness as ‘withness’ (Flora Keshgegian)

3. Effects of trauma on our spirituality • Leonard Shengold refers to ‘soul murder’ (1989) ‘To abuse or neglect a child, to deprive the child of his or her own identity and ability to experience joy in life is to commit soul murder..’ • Loss of our creativity/senses/libido • Inability to feel/to notice/to be aware of the presence of others • Presence of others/symbols/language... becomes unsafe • Space – time – food – sleep - dissociation • Agitation, voices, flashbacks, recurring nightmares • Bodily pain, disability and changes • Breakdown of trust • Inability to love and to receive love – to know what love may be • Self-harm/punishment and release • Anger to self/others/God • Loss of voice and inability to form sentences • Loss of sense of self and being • Hate of self ‘Blessing’ Artist: Ruth Goodheir

4. Quotes from guests at Holy Rood House • I came in despair and anguish and utter pain. You held my story and placed me in a room of Peace, offering me sanctuary and space to begin to find the healing I needed. …I discovered a gentle God and the love and acceptance in needed in the care given to me…I discovered the awesome power of creativity to unlock our deepest recesses and the power of God to heal through the imaginative processes…I rediscovered myself and discovered for the first time parts of myself... • I was at the edge. Holy Rood House gave me time and space to step back from the edge… • Before I came to Holy Rood I ‘knew’ I was unlovable. Gradually over several visits I know that I am loved. Today I have come to the realisation that whether I am here in the body or not... I am still held by the love of Holy Rood… I am part of a community of love. What greater gift could you give me?

5.  Pain, raw, horrific leaving my body & soul infecting my mind. Pain, moulded into clay raw, horrific, graffic dark images made real in the soft forgiving clay. My life, my pain there now solid in clay, hard unchanging set for all time. Seasons change – winter to spring summer to autumn - we too move and change in with the rhythm of life. The dark cold winter of my life beckons the way for spring, for hope. The hard unchanging images in the clay were broken and left to soak. With the same hands now she was reborn, reshaped remade with smooth flowing curves, with tenderness and compassion. She is my risen life, my broken body, my living soul.

6. Embodied theologies - incarnation • The body knows – the body re-members • ‘the body is still the map on which we mark our meanings’ (Warner,1985) • ‘bodies are the nature and destiny of God.’ (Heyward, 1989) • ‘the Word became flesh and dwelt among us’ (John 1) The flesh begins to become the word…body language & voice… within an embodied environment of mutual trust ….unspoken stories emerge… • We are the body of Christ/our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit • Flesh becomes ‘a place of revelation... together we dare to risk our own divine incarnation.’ (Isherwood, 2000)

7. Split theologies lead to splitspirituality and personalities – our many selves • Dualisms in theology, liturgy, hymnody • Flesh and spirit – soul • Language and symbol denoting power and control • Environments and authoritarian systems • Survival techniques following trauma • Dissociation • Giving ourselves away...and breaking down • “Our breaking down becomes our breaking through” Artist: Glynis Rose (Holy Rood House Eucharistic Prayer) • Grieving for the loss of our ‘selves’ • Our ‘I am’ - my God-self • “I don’t know who I am anymore” • Working towards re-integration.

8. Embodied Theology leading to a spiritual praxis • A story of lilac blossom • A Threshold Theology • Story-telling – listening – observing • BEING PRESENT...the ‘power in relation’ (Carter Heyward) • Awareness of the environment/of beauty/changing seasons/ecology and the health of the planet • Awareness of bodily changes/the aging process • The Quality of Tenderness (Brian Thorne) • Re-working kenosis – resistance & ethical responses (see Mercedes & Grey) • Re-working power and empowerment ‘Power in relation’ (Heyward) • Alertness of the senses ‘The senses are...instruments of grace...given us to know what ‘grace’ means’ (Tim Gorringe 2001) • Awakening to well-being – the I am – our divine becoming • Coming Home...

9. Discovering the disabled Christ • I saw God in a sip-puff wheelchair, that is, the chair used mostly by quadriplegics enabling them to manoeuvre by blowing and sucking on a straw-like device. Not an omnipotent self-sufficient God, but neither a pitiable suffering servant. In this moment, I beheld God as a survivor, unpitying and forthright. I recognised the incarnate Christ in the image of those judged ‘not feasible’, ‘unemployable’, with ‘questionable quality of life.’ Here was God for me. (Nancy Eiesland 1994) • What contemporary body theology absolutely must not do is to ignore the equally valid experience of the body limited in time and space…These differences…could be of theological and existential creativity, resources for everyone to draw on to understand what being embodied is all about.’(Jackie Scully 2002) • The vulnerable divine and wounded healer... • We become the wounded healers and the wounded ones needing to be healed...(see Henri Nouwen)

10. Our thought processes and our processes towards well-being... ...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phil 4:8‘Crosspeace’ Artist: Elaine Wisdom

11. Liberating spirituality • * Innate wisdom – the presence of Sophia/Wisdom at the crossroads • * ‘I am the way, the truth and the life’ • The Way – of being, leading to finding our truth and flourishing in life • * Grounded, embodied, sacramental approach to being people of grace – not law ... • * Making Connections and re-integrating the fractured parts of ourselves • * Discovering Community

12. Community of hospitality • Safe space when life feels unsafe ‘This is the first time I have felt safe enough to feel unsafe’ • A community of conversation • A re-membering community • Inclusive community • Becoming a community of mutuality • A community of story-telling • A community of faith ‘Thank you for believing in me when I could no longer believe in myself’ • Threshold community • Visionary community • Becoming a prophetic community

13. Celebrating hope... “If we burn with a passion for well-being, the spark is God... In sustaining and becoming ourselves in relation we are giving birth to more of this sacred power who needs us, Artist: Glynis Rose her friends, to bring her to life and help nourish her life on the earth. She is being born among us… she is not yet but becoming…” (CarterHeyward)

14. Wound tight by the pressures & prejudices of those who believe in a rule book instead of good news, I ran to a half remembered bolt-hole to reconnect with those whose faith means that God is known in –splashing paint and quiet labyrinth, in mixtures and margins, in steaming hot chocolate and broken bread and poured wine. And the coil unwound a little; and my breathing slowed a little; and I laughed a little easier; and I go more slowlyas I leave,because I would stay longerin this placewhere holy wholeness lies,in the true freedom of beingloved as we are. If you are here too for such solace may it find you; and may you find it in you to walk taller as you leave, taking your space, accepting your face, making your place, a glimmering spark of God’s kingdom. (Words from a guest at Holy Rood House)