What’s Right with Your Child? Orienting Ourselves to Kids’ Strengths

1. What’s Right with Your Child?Orienting Ourselves to Kids’ Strengths Ali Zidel Meyers, MSW

2. Relax; it’s not that kind of talk.

3. Welcome • Why strengths? • Excerpt from The Short Bus • My work • Parents and educators • A couple of caveats • No silver bullets • Help yourself: an a la carte presentation

4. 7 Questions(There will be a quiz!) Questions I will ask you to answer at the end (no need to write these down): • Define “strengths” or describe the strengths-based approach. • Why does it matter? What implications does strengths-based research hold for our kids’ learning? • Describe some conventional norms or habits regarding kids’ strengths and weaknesses in learning? • Does a strengths-based approach deny weaknesses? • How can we recognize and nurture our children's natural talents, gifts, and abilities? • Name some resources can we tap into for strengths-based teaching and parenting. • What is your homework assignment this week?

5. Where is our focus? • The Strong/Weak Standard • What did you notice? • Which came more readily?

6. What do you mean by “strength”? By refining our dominant talents with skill and knowledge, we create strength. *Investing in Strengths, Clifton & Harter, 2003

7. What is the strengths-based approach? • A strengths-based approach shifts the focus from deficits to abilities, problems to possibilities/potential • Assumptions: • People have individual strengths that enable them to cope, progress, grow, succeed. • We’re more strongly motivated to move toward things we want, than to move toward things we don’t want (self-determination).

8. Background, Research • Gallup Organization’s research on human performance • Over 30 years • Over 2 million people (globally) • The question: Could it be that the greatest gains in human development are based on investment in what people do best naturally?

9. Surprise! • Hypothesis confirmed: individuals gain more when they build on talents than when they work to improve areas of weakness. • Data revealed two flawed assumptions about people: 1) Each person can learn to be competent at almost anything. 2) The greatest room for growth is in a person’s areas of weakness.

10. Why it matters • In education studies, strengths-based training for student groups showed: • Reduced tardy and absentee rates • Increased self-confidence • Improved “state hope”/goal-directed thinking • Higher GPAs

11. Why it matters • Data call into question whether devoting the majority of our energy to deficit remediation is effective. • The most successful teachers, managers, employees, and students match talents to tasks and focus on strength development. • The more a strength is exercised, the stronger and more integrated it becomes (like using a muscle).

12. Our culture: what we see • The School Picture Makeover • How we may be oriented regarding kids’ strengths and weaknesses • Progress Reports, Standardized test reports—where the eyes go…where they linger • Deficiencies vs. Strengths/capacities • Comparing Kids (peers, siblings…). • We have our concerns. That’s normal. But they can cloud our view.

13. What about weakness? • Does a strengths-based approach ignore weakness? • It is necessary to ameliorate behavior or patterns that produce counter-productive outcomes. • Educational standards exist for a reason.

14. Dealing with Tough Subject Areas • My child hates math and loves writing. • My child loves writing but hates math. Strength Leveragability Problem-solving Organization Visualization Imagination Creativity Logic

15. Dealing with weaknesses • Develop a habit of mind where the default pattern is attention to strengths! (self, child, others) • Help your child identify and leverage strengths, to tackle difficulties. • Leveraging Strengths

16. Shifting the Focus • Hone the focus--toward developing strengths, building on talents--while acknowledging, understanding, and managing weaknesses. • What’s wrong with my child what’s RIGHT with my child? • Context, balance, perspective

17. Orienting ourselves to strengths • Wear your Talent Antenna • Strengths Log: Tracing Your Talents

18. Recognizing strengths • Reflect on child’s intelligences, talents, & strengths • Provide opportunities to explore & amplify strengths (online inventories, books, thought, discussion, activities) • Pursue opportunities to immerse your child in strength-building activities • Robbie the rock collector

19. Orienting ourselves to strengths • Role modeling: Do you self-criticize more than you celebrate your strengths? • Watch out for Felt Fishy moments • Reframe/re-orient your conversations (with self or others) to shift the focus toward strengths and abilities. Your homework assignment for this week: What’s right with your child?

20. Additional Resources • Multiple Intelligences • Chock full o’ nuts handout • Your ideas?

21. 7 Questions(Time for a quiz!) • Define “strengths” or describe the strengths-based approach. • Why does it matter? What implications does strengths-based research hold for our kids’ learning? • Describe some conventional norms or habits regarding kids’ strengths and weaknesses in learning? • Does a strengths-based approach deny weaknesses? • How can we recognize and nurture our children's natural talents, gifts, and abilities? • Name some resources can we tap into for strengths-based teaching and parenting. • What is your homework assignment this week?

22. Four Seasons, Four Sons

23. Questions? Ali Zidel Meyers, MSW