What Do You Really Want From Others?

1. What Do You Really Want From Others? Using the FIRO-B To Improve Interpersonal Effectiveness

2. Exercise • Think about one of your most satisfying relationships (work or social) • What makes it satisfying? • Think about one of your least satisfying relationaships (work or social) • What makes it dissatisfying?

3. Agenda • FIRO-B instrument • Taking the FIRO-B • Understanding your results • Applications • Increase awareness of interpersonal needs and develop strategies to meet those needs • Manage conflict • Develop leadership skills • Build more satisfying relationships • Identify sources of career satisfiers and dissatisfiers

4. The Instrument • Developed in the late 1950’s by psychologist Will Schutz to help predict how high performance military teams would work together. • Measures behavior that derives from three interpersonal needs: Inclusion, Control and Affection. • Uses self report to assess the frequency with which a person engages in a particular behavior associated with one of the three needs and with how many people one engages.

5. The Instrument • High scores indicate the behavior is displayed with most of the people most of the time and can be considered characteristic of that person. • Low scores indicate the person does not engage in this behavior very often and/or does so with a select group of people.

6. Definitions • Need: A psychological condition that if not met produces discomfort or anxiety • Expressed: The extent to which a person initiates the behaviors associated with the need; the degree to which the person behaves in that way toward others. • Wanted: The extent to which a person prefers to receive that behavior from others; the degree to which one wants others to to behave that way toward oneself.

7. The Interpersonal Needs • Inclusion • The need to establish and maintain satisfactory interactions and associations with other people. • How much you generally include other people in your life and how much attention, contact and recognition you want from others. • Do you want to belong? Do you invite others to participate? Do you prefer togetherness or solitude? Do you like attention or prefer to be detached? Do you like a little or a lot of recognition?

8. The Interpersonal Needs • Control • The need to influence or direct the behavior of others and how much you want others to lead and influence you. • The degree to which one desires to assume responsibility. • How much do you want to be in charge or take the lead? How Do you prefer to be a follower or a leader? How much structure do you like? How do you react to being given direction?

9. The Interpersonal Needs • Affection • The need to have close, warm personal relationships especially in one-on-one interactions. • The degree of openness, warmth and personal connection one desires with others • Do you keep your distance or show your closeness? Do you want others to show warmth to you or stay more impersonal? Do you disclose your feelings to others? Do you like others to disclose their feelings to you?

10. Review

11. Behaviors

12. Interpreting your Scores • Overall • Scores between 0-15 are considered low and may mean that interaction with others in all three areas are not a strongly felt need. Your focus is likely on task rather than people and may prefer your own company, valuing independence with a few close friends. • Scores between 16-26 are considered medium/low and may mean you engage with others in the three areas on a selective basis, choosing carefully how when and where you associate with others. Some close relationships are important to you, but you more often focus on the impersonal than the personal.

13. Interpreting your Scores • Overall • Scores between 27-38 are medium/high and may mean that you find interacting with others in all three areas satisfying and helpful in achieving your goals. You consult without handing over authority and enjoy teamwork, occasionally needing time alone. • Scores between 39-54 are high and may mean that you enjoy frequent contact with others in all three areas. Relationships are important to you and being without others’ company may make you feel uncomfortable.

14. Interpreting your Scores • Total Expressed/Total Wanted • Scores between 0-7 are low and may mean that you neither initiate activities or want others to initiate activities with you • Scores between 8-19 are medium and may mean that you sometimes initiate or want activities with others and sometimes don’t • Scores between 20-27 are high and indicate you usually initiate activity and like for others to do so.

15. Interpreting your Scores • Total Expressed/Total Wanted • When your total (e) score is higher than your total (w) score, you probably enjoy taking the initiative more than having others do so. • When your total (w) score is higher than your total (e) score, you probably prefer that others take the initiative • When your scores are equal, you probably prefer to take a wait and see attitude before deciding to take initiative: what do others want? What do you feel like doing? What seems appropriate?

16. Interpreting your Scores • Total Inclusion/Affection/Control • Scores between 0-5 are considered low. These are areas you may tend to avoid. • For Inclusion it may mean that you generally have a low preference for being with others, regardless of who initiates contact. • For Control it may mean you usually prefer less structured situations and have a laid-back attitude toward authority, generally preferring not to give or receive orders. • For Affection it may mean that you prefer to keep things impersonal and prefer more formal (business like) relationships.

17. Interpreting your Scores • Total Inclusion/Affection/Control • Scores between 6-12 are medium and are of sporadic interest to you or your interest may vary depending on the person. • For Inclusion it may mean that you prefer a balance between time alone and time with others, no matter who initiates it. • For Control it may mean you generally like a moderate amount of structure and clarity regarding tasks to be accomplished. • For Affection it may mean that you usually prefer a realistic amount of warmth and closeness in me-to-one relationships, regardless of who initiates it.

18. Interpreting your Scores • Total Inclusion/Affection/Control • Scores of 13-18 are high and these areas tend to be a priority for you. • For Inclusion it may mean that you have a high preference for being involved in social situations regardless of who initiates it. • For Control it may mean you generally prefer a structured situation where there are clear lines of authority and responsibility in order to get things done. • For Affection it may mean you generally like a lot of warmth and closeness in your me-to-one relationships.

19. Interpreting your Scores • Six Individual Scores • Scores of 0-2 are low and mean your preference for this behavior is very selective. • Scores of 3-6 are medium and mean your preference for this behavior is moderate. • Scores of 7-9 are high and indicate you have a strong preference for this behavior.

20. Interpreting your Scores • Combinations of Scores • High wA and low eI may make it difficult to meet the individuals with whom you wish to form closer, deeper relationships. • High eC and medium eA may make it easier for others to accept your direction because you show tact and understanding in your efforts to influence them. • High eI, high wI, low eC and high wC may result in others misinterpreting your desire to be a prominent part of a group and your desire to influence and lead it.

21. Reactions • Do the scores seem to fit you? • How? • In what ways do they not? • Do the scores lend insight to areas in which you might modify your behavior to improve your interactions with others? • What are they?

22. Conclusion • Thoughts, observations, insights, take aways..