English 1302: Week Six

1. English 1302: Week Six Peer Critiques and Introduction to Style

2. Writing Prompt • In a paragraph or two, try to define what you believe style to be and what academic style might mean. • Also, how would you define concision, and how is it useful to style?

3. Class Overview • Announcements and Discussion: Literature Reviews, Late Assignments • Open-Response Writing • Intro to Peer Critiques: Purpose and Language • High-Priority Writing Concerns vs. Low-Priority: Making Sense of the Revision Process • Intro to Style and Concision: Exercise

4. Announcements • Literature review 1.1: what were some issues you faced in writing this assignment? • Late-assignments and getting back on track (if this applies to you) • Game-planning the semester and using your time effectively: set writing goals for yourself and lay out the tools and timetable to accomplish them. • University Writing Center appointments

5. Peer Critique 1A and 1B • For peer critiques 1A and 1B (same assignment directions for TWO STUDENT DRAFTS), you will be asked to write a constructive critique of a literature review 1.1. • Please identify the author’s thesis and topic in the first two sentences and devote at least one paragraph to each concern in the prompt. (Couch the thesis as a quote: Ex. “The thesis of this literature review is “…” As a whole, the review focuses on the topic of …” • Please follow the guidelines for “Effective Peer Critiquing” as laid out in your BSM e-handbook and this PowerPoint. • Make sure to be specific at all times: critiques that are so general that they could apply to any text (and not the one you were assigned) will be deemed ineffective and graded thusly. Broadness is neither fair to your peer nor to you as writer. As readers, we should be able to tell exactly what element you’re discussing (what aspect of the thesis, which topic sentence, which source integration or instance of thesis). • Make sure to provide both critical insight and constructive peer criticism: look for strengths and weaknesses, and be particular to both! Provide models and reasoning for each.

6. Qualities of Effective Peer Critiques Effective Peer Critiques: • Are specific: they tell the reader not only “what” but “why” or “so what.” Your reasoning in evaluation should be clear and evident to your peer. • Employ details, examples, and clear references that could only come from having read the entire piece thoroughly. • Focus on higher-order concerns like structural elements (thesis, topic sentences, body paragraph coherence), formal issues (narrowness of topic, focus on the literature/authors), and research (synthesis, quality of research, source integration. • Use a professional tone throughout and offer constructive criticism through modeling and specific examples.

7. Qualities: Continued What vs. So What: • When identifying strengths and weaknesses in a text for your peer, don’t just write “your thesis is inappropriate”: focus on the specific aspect of the thesis that does not fit a literature review, why this could be an issue (connected to structure?), and how the author might revise. • Show your reasoning through sentence structure: “Because sources A and B overlap well in __ ways, it would be effective to develop that synthesis more and explain its significance to your reader.” Specificity: • The details you reference should be specific to the text you have read: you demonstrate your authority and respect to your peer by showing them you paid attention. • Bad Ex: Your topic sentences seem accurate but a few don’t really work. I suggest changing them. • Better Ex: The first topic sentence about “ethics” and the Democratic Peace Theory is effective because it identifies a point of conversation for synthesis that helps organize the authors, but the second and third topic sentences are not doing this as well because they focus on individual authors.

8. Qualities: Continued Higher-Order Concerns: • Higher-order concerns are elements of a document that are particular to a genre or form (e. g. “literature review”) and that affect the meaning and effectiveness of the text as a whole. • Lower-order concerns are basic issues any text might have and that do not require the reader to have read the entire text: grammar, mechanics, proofreading, citation mechanics. These shouldnot take priority over higher-order concerns in a peer-critique! (If any of these problems are prevalent, one sentence and example will get the point across). Professional ToneandConstructive Criticism: • Second-person address is okay, BUT one should not abuse “you,” as it can come across as confrontational, bluntly critical, and redundant. Instead, focus on the “element” as your sentence subject: • Bad Ex.: “You should change your thesis because it is ineffective.” • Better Ex.: “The thesis’s scope of “marketing as a whole” feels too large for the typical focus of a literature review. It might be more effective to focus on a particular aspect of marketing represented in the selected articles like…” • Constructive criticism is informed (specific), helpful (offers solutions or models w/o taking over), and courteous.

9. Peer-Critique Exercise • On a blank piece of paper (label #1), provide at least three sentences of unconstructivecriticism for one of the following elements in your own 1.1: 1) thesis 2) topic sentences 3) synthesis • Below this (label #2), provide constructive criticism for the same element. • What are the differences in tone, content, and technique?

10. Peer Review Exercise: Continued • Now, trade 1.1’s with a partner and identify in said paper what you believe to be the strongest element (thesis, topic sentences, synthesis/source integration) in the intro and first body paragraph (do not count “Background” paragraphs) and the weakest element. • On a new piece of paper, convey to your peer which element was strongest and which was weakest. In doing so, provide an example for each and explain “why” these were effective or ineffective using what you know about the literature review genre.

11. Style and Concision • What is “academic English” and why should it strive to be concise? • Oscar Wilde once wrote, “In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.” Do you agree or disagree? What would “sincerity” mean in an academic context? • Some writers believe that “style is the dress of thought” whereas others believe “style is substance.” • Concision is not about using the fewest words or phrases but the most precise and effective.

12. Concision: Practice • Concision is not an exact science, but one can reduce tendencies in writing that lead to vagueness or wordiness. The following are tendencies to avoid: • Use of meaningless or “doubled” words • Ex: “kind of,” “actually/really/basically/generally/virtually” • Ex: “each and every,” “first and foremost,” • Use of unnecessary or unclear modifiers (Hedges and intensifiers) • Ex: almost, sometimes, possibly, potentially, to some degree/extent, somewhat • Ex: pretty, very, extremely, clearly, obviously, certainly, without doubt, always • Use of redundant categories or ideas • Ex: “period of time,” “professional manner,” “each individual” • Use of large phrases or sayings that could be replaced by one word or shorter phrases • Ex: “There is a need for,” “The idea that,” “Despite the fact that” • Excessive use of negatives • “not often”= rarely, seldom • “not the same”= different, contrasting

13. Concision Contest! • On a piece of paper, try to rewrite the following passage in as few words as possible without losing meaning or important information: • “Depending on the particular position that one might take on this particularly interesting and problematic question, the educational system and its various institutions have taken on a degree of relative importance that may be equal to or perhaps even exceed the family as a major source of transmission of social values and beliefs” (FYW 219).

14. Homework In typed, 12-pt Times New Roman Font • Using your most recent draft of your 1.1, select a body paragraph that focuses on sources (and NOT any informational, terminological, or background paragraphs) and revise using the advice in Ch. 11 of your First-Year Writing Textbook. • Below your revised paragraph, type four revisions of your topic sentence using what we’ve learned about topic sentences and clarity: two versions should be “effective” examples and the other two should be “ineffective” samples. Clearly label each pair. • Bring this typed, printed assignment to class on Tuesday along with your annotated draft 1.1 from this week. (worth 8 points participation total).