Guys Are From Mars, Girls Are From Venus

1. Guys Are From Mars, Girls Are From Venus Ray and Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries www.probe.org

2. No Male Bashing!

3. Why It’s Great To Be a Guy • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. • You can drop by without bringing a small gift. • 3 pairs of shoes are more than enough. • You get extra credit for the slightest acts of kindness. • You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

4. Sense of self: achievement Task-oriented Self-reliant Ask for help = weakness Sense of self: relationships Relational-oriented Inter-dependent Ask for help = compliment Men Women

5. Focus is on goal Enjoy the process Men Women

6. Competition Cooperation Men Women

7. Analytical Intuitive Men Women

8. Linear: focus on one thing at a time. Compartmentalized (like a chest of drawers) Multi-taskers: juggle many little things at once Contiguous (like a ball of yarn) Men Women

9. Action-oriented Hostility: physical Feels better by solving problems Verbal Hostility: verbal Feels better by talking about problems Men Women

10. When under stress: distracts himself with various activities to relax. Withdraws into his “cave.” When under stress: gets more involved with others. Talks in order to be heard and understood. Men Women

11. Primarily needs respect(trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement). Needs to be needed. Primarily needs cherishing (tender care, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, reassurance). Needs to be protected. Men Women

12. Words: for conveying facts and information Words: like breathing Men Women

13. Summary of Gender Differences Men tend to be tough and strong, women tend to be gentle and tender Men tend toward logic and linear thinking, women tend toward emotion and verbal communication Men tend to be risk-takers, women tend toward security and order

14. Summary of Gender Differences Men tend toward relational insensitivity, women tend toward relational sensitivity Men look toward the long haul, women are more concerned for the here and now Men are more skeptical and suspicious (the provider in him?), women are more believing and trusting (the nurturer in her?)

15. The Butterfly and The Buffalo

16. The Butterfly The butterfly has a keen sensitivity. It is sensitive even to the slightest breeze. It flutters above the ground where it can get a panoramic awareness of its surroundings. It notices the beauty of even the tiniest flowers. Because of its sensitivity, it is constantly aware of all of the changes going on around it and is able to react to the slightest variation in its environment.

17. The Butterfly Thus, the butterfly reacts with swiftness toward anything that might hurt it. (Try to catch one without a net sometime.) If a tiny pebble were taped to its wing, the butterfly would be severely injured and eventually die.

18. The Buffalo The buffalo is another story. It is rough and calloused. It doesn’t react to a breeze. It’s not even affected by a thirty-mile-an-hour wind. It just goes right on doing whatever it was doing. It’s not aware of the smallest of flowers, nor does it appear to be sensitive to slight changes in its environment. Tape a pebble to the buffalo’s back and it probably won’t even feel it.

19. The Buffalo The buffalo isn’t “rotten to the core” just because he goes around stepping on pretty flowers. In fact, the buffalo’s toughness is a tremendous asset. His strength, when harnessed, can pull a plow that four grown men can’t pull. . . He (man) may tend to “plow” through circumstances, while [the woman] may “feel” life and her surroundings with much more sensitivity.

20. Created Differences • Man was formed from dust; woman was formed from flesh. • Man was placed in the garden alone; woman was brought to the man so they could be together. • Man was created with a need; woman was created to fill a need. • Man’s job was to work; woman’s job was to help man with his work.

21. Created Differences • Man’s job was cognitive/task oriented (name the animals); woman’s job was emotive/relational (meet the need of the man). • Man gave woman her name; woman received her name from him. • Man’s body was created to give a seed; woman’s body was created to give life.

22. Gender Roles and the Bible Women’s Needs and Issues • Women need to be cherished • Women need security • Women need to be treated with tenderness and gentleness • Women are verbal creatures

23. Gender Roles and the Bible Men’s Needs and Issues • Men need respect and support • Men are naturally self-oriented

24. Men and Women from the Beginning Genesis 2: 18-25 -- The Creation of Eve • Eve was made for man. • Eve was made from the man. • Eve was brought to the man. • Eve was named by man. • Man is the head; he is responsible for the woman.

25. Men and Women from the Beginning Genesis 3:16 Effect of the Curse on Eve

26. Men and Women from the Beginning Genesis 3:17-18 Effect of the Curse on Adam

27. Four Pillars of Manhood(Stu Weber, Tender Warrior) • Heart of a King -- Provisionary Heart • Heart of a Warrior -- Protective Heart • Heart of a Mentor -- Teaching Heart • Heart of a Friend -- Loving Heart