Effective Decision-Making for Students in Middle School

1. Effective Decision-Making for Students in Middle School By: Mrs. Gregory School Guidance Counselor

2. Did you know decision-making can be difficult if you don’t understand what choice you make or why? • Decision-making is a process. It takes practice and a deep understanding of how choices you make in your daily life can affect you in a negative or positive manner.

3. Decisions? Decisions? • Making decisions can be overwhelming at times, especially if you have several decisions to make at once. Learn to pace yourself and learn to address one decision at a time before making a definite choice to avoid feeling stressed. Making poor or quick decisions can result in becoming confused and having to experience unwanted outcomes or desires.

4. Learning To Make Good Decisions Can Be Challenging Because…… • Adolescents learn to make good decisions when they understand which ones get them more of what they want, and which ones result in more of what they don’t want

5. Learn From Your Own Mistakes • You also need to understand how your brain works. During adolescence, the brain is “under construction.” Making good decisions in various situations are typical of adolescent life.

6. WHAT ADOLESCENTS WANT AND DON’T WANT Adolescents want: 1. More fun 2. More independence 3. More time with friends 4. More control over their daily lives

7. Adolescents don’t want: 1. Arguments with parents 2. Conflicts with peers 3. Social drama 4. Loss of privileges 5. Adults telling them what to do

8. There are different types of situations that could put adolescents at risk if they decide to stay in that situation: seeing a fight, seeing a friend smoking pot or drinking alcohol; hearing a friend talk about shoplifting when in a store together, hearing plans for a weekend party that will include drugs and/or alcohol, or hearing gossip; smelling alcohol, marijuana or cigarettes, etc. An adolescent need to know that the first job the brain performs is to let a person know when they are in danger. (Dead person = no brain) At any given second, 80% of what their brain is doing is processing information it’s getting from their senses. If they see, hear, or smell something that puts their physical or emotional safety at risk, their brain will tell them they are in danger. What could happen if you didn’t leave a dangerous situation????

9. What Else Could Happen? • Listening to gossip, spreading gossip, and “talking trash” about someone isn’t a situation most adolescents would identify as being “dangerous.” Yet, when asked, “What often happens if you spread gossip?” or “What can happen if all you do is listen to gossip or ‘trash talk’?” adolescents quickly recognize that at least one person will be mad at them. Adolescents must consider this question also, “What else might happen?” Many things can lead to destructive behavior or unwanted consequences (i.e. physical harm, incarceration, loss of friendship, school suspension, etc. When angry, an individual does not think clearly or rationally. Anything could possibly happen!!!!!

10. Misunderstandings…… Adolescents need to know their brain often misunderstands other people’s emotions and misinterprets another person’s facial expressions, tone of voice, and/or body language. They also need to understand why it happens. “Have you and a friend ever gotten into a huge argument and it turned out to be just a big misunderstanding?” Every adolescent is all too familiar with this situation. Sometimes they have lost a friendship; other times they've been able to talk things out. Regardless of whether the entire argument was over a simple misunderstanding, adolescents experience a lot of stress when they have an argument with a friend, family member, or someone they care about.

11. It’s important that adolescents comprehend just how many decisions they make throughout a day. "How many decisions do you think you make from the time you get up in the morning until you go to bed at night?" Many young people have never thought about this before. They are often shocked to realize that they make hundreds. The list of situations and the possible choices they’re faced with each day is endless. "Are you in control of all those little decisions you make throughout your day?” The purpose of these questions is to help adolescents grasp the importance of paying attention to the quality of the small decisions they make throughout their day. They are usually very tuned into how a negative experience at one point in their day often effects how they feel for the rest of their day. Adolescents usually live in the “NOW” moment.

12. Decision-Making is just a Choice • It’s important that adolescents recognize the differences between the situations they have control over and the ones they don’t. Equally important is that adolescents need to understand they do have control over the “decisions” they make in both types of situations good or bad. YOU HAVE A CHOICE. WHICH ONE WILL YOU MAKE???

13. Step1 THE SITUATION: A situation has an invisible “stop sign.” Stop, think, then act. Adolescents have to recognize a situation that requires their attention. If they don’t recognize a “stop sign,” they’ll “blow through the stop sign,” and later regret they didn’t think before deciding to act or re-act. These are the types of situations that require “putting on the brakes.” Step 2 THINK: Adolescents need to think about all the possible choices they have in a specific situation. Then they need to consider the possible consequences of each choice (i.e. “If I do this, this may occur) Step 3 THEIR DECISION: After thinking about all their choices and the possible consequences of each choice, they need to decide what to do next. THE FOUR STEPS IN DECISION-MAKING

14. Steps in Decision-Making (Cont.) • Step 4 EVALUATE THEIR DECISION: This step is designed to help adolescents learn from their mistakes. Some decisions are just fine. Others will be “okay,” but not great. “Okay” decisions probably would have turned out better if the adolescent had spent more time thinking through the consequences. Perhaps the adolescent just didn’t have enough knowledge at the time to make a better decision. Then, there are some decisions that will just “stink.”

15. In Conclusion, • Don’t compromise happiness, freedom, doing the right thing, good judgment, character, or morals by making poor decisions. If you think your decision is not the best, ask for advice from an adult, someone you trust, or someone with knowledge/experience (like a parent). Even if you make a mistake, the difference is learning from it and not repeating the same pattern. Decisions are like a balance that you must weigh out, the good or the bad. Decision-making is not an easy process, but it can be accomplished with hard work, patience, practice, and criticalthinking.U Can Do It!