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Succeeding in the laboratory requires diligence due to the need for numerous experiments. Researchers must be diligent to achieve success in their scientific endeavors.
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No.1 • (Worse) To succeed in the laboratory, diligence is essentialdue to the fact that many experiments are necessary.
(Better 1) To succeed in the laboratory, the researcher must be diligentbecause many experiments are necessary. • (Better 2)The researcher must be diligent to succeed in the laboratory since many experiments are necessary.
[Note 5.1] • Avoid wordiness by saying because or since instead of due to the fact that.
No.2 • (Worse)Before submitting a graduate school application, the institution should be selected.
(Better 1)Before a student submits a graduate school application, the institution should be selected. • (Better 2) A student should select the institute before submitting a graduate school application.
No.3 • (Worse)Pressing the start button prior to operations, the machine turned on.
(Better 1) The machine turned on after the operator pressed the start button. • (Better 2) After the operator pressed the start button,the machine turned on.
No.4 • (Worse) When simulating the environment, the outcome yielded some surprising results. • (Better) When the laboratory assistant simulated the environment, the outcome yielded some surprising results.
[Note 5.2] • Although the writer of this sentence implies that someone is simulating the environment, the reader will erroneously assume that the outcome is simulating the environment. • The revised sentence eliminates this confusion.
No.5 • (Worse) The program contains the proposed itinerary that was implemented yesterday. • (Better) The program【implemented yesterday】contains the proposed itinerary.
[Note 5.3] • In this sentence, although the writer wish to state that what was implemented yesterday was The program, misplacing the clause changes the intended meaning.
No.6 • (Worse) The container held by the experimenter with many leaks must be replaced. • (Better 1) Held by the experimenter, the container with many leaks must be replaced. • (Better 2) The container held by the experimenter must be replaced owing to its many leaks.
[Note 5.4] • Placing the modifying phrase in the wrong place erroneously states that the experimenter, not The container, has many leaks.
No.7 • (Worse) To select the level of the design parameter, the effects of the noise factors must be minimized. • (Better 1) To select the level of the design parameter, the engineer must minimize the effects of the noise factors. • (Better 2) The engineer must minimize the effects of the noise factors to select the level of the design parameter.
No.8 • (Worse) Analyzing the SN ratios, the optimal settings can be determined. • (Better) The optimal settings can be determined byanalyzing the SN ratios.
No.9 • (Worse) When taking an examination, the questions should be answered as thoroughly as possible. • (Better) When taking an examination, a studentshould answer the questions as thoroughly as possible.
No.10 • (Worse) To excel in academics, determination is necessary. • (Better 1) Determination is necessaryto excel in academics. • (Better 2) For a studentto excel in academics, determination is necessary.
No.11 • (Worse) While conducting an experiment, the timer went off and Jeff took the sample from the oven. • (Better) While Jeff was conducting an experiment, the timer went off and he took the sample from the oven.
No.12 • (Worse) Taking into account all of the circumstances, the decision on how to deal with the issue was reached by the academic committee. • (Better 1) Bytaking into account all of the circumstances, the academic committeedecided how to deal with the issue.
No.12 (cont.) • (Better 2) The academic committee decided how to deal with the issue by taking all of the circumstances into account.