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Positive Emotions

Positive Emotions . Class 19. A. B. C. D. 1 . Being the best in the world at anything you choose. An A in Harber’s class. 2. Extreme wealth. The freedom to do any kind of work, craft, play for your entire life. True love, equally felt and given. 3. Attaining true wisdom.

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Positive Emotions

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  1. Positive Emotions Class 19

  2. A B C D 1 Being the best in the world at anything you choose An A in Harber’s class 2 Extreme wealth The freedom to do any kind of work, craft, play for your entire life True love, equally felt and given 3 Attaining true wisdom The promise of fame for 1000 years 4 Perfect health to age 90 Freedom from sorrow for your entire life An endless fun-filled vacation YOUR SINGLE LIFETIME WISH

  3. What is This Thing Called Love? What is the formula for love? What are the necessary ingredients? Intimacy + Passion = Love

  4. Elements of Intimacy Baumeister & Bratslavsky definition: a. Mutual disclosure b. Strong, positive attitude c. Communication of affection Other ingredients: Concern Interdependence: soldiers in battle, ropes courses Vulnerability Aron: Overlapping selves; individual "I" becomes a common "we"

  5. Elements of Passion • Physiological arousal • Strong feelings of attraction • Desire to be united with partner • d. Sexuality: Can have sex w/o passion, but can’t have passion w/o sex • Passionate love = Physio arousal + attraction + desire for union

  6. Time Course of Intimacy When is passion greatest, early phase, middle phase, or later phase? Middle phase: Why? Passion is an emotion, emotions occur when change occurs

  7. How to Keep Passion Alive * New experiences (home childbirth) * Risk of loss of loved one * Fights, arguments, marital therapy Evolutionary Innovation to enhance romantic intimacy: Hint: Bonobo Apes do it, humans do it, no other species does it—this way. Frontal Sex: eye contact, communication  more intimacy  more passion

  8. Is Romantic Love Common Across Cultures? Criteria for determining romantic love: 1. it arouses personal anguish or longing 2. love songs, poetry, etc. 3. elopement due to mutual affection 4. indigenous account of romantic love 5. affirmation by anthropologist that love occurred Percent of cultures that display romantic love?: 90%

  9. Lovers on a Train On Monday Cpl. Floyd Johnson, 23 and then Ellen Skinner, 19, total strangers, boarded a train at San Francisco and sat across the aisle from each other. Johnson didn’t cross the aisle until Weds., but his bride said “I’d already made up my mind to say ‘yes’ if he asked me to marry him.” “We did most of our talking with our eyes,” Johnson explained. The couple got off the train in Omaha, crossed the river to …Iowa, where they were married on Friday.

  10. Falling in Love: Is it for real? Falling in love, love at first sight, may be West. invention History of “romantic love” 1. courtly love, Provence, France, 11th Century 2. Nobleman fall for Lady (typically married), commits to everlasting fidelity (Lancelot & Guinevere) 3. Contradictions: a. Pledge fidelity in service of adultery b. Love based on sex. attraction, cannot be fulfilled. Modern thinkers: “falling is love” a convenient fantasy

  11. Evolutionary Theory and Sexual Attraction What explains attraction between the sexes? David Buss’s evolutionary perspective Both sexes driven by desire to pass on genes, but have different goals and therefore different attractions Men want child-bearers: * Youthful: young enough to be fertile * Healthy enough to deliver, nurture kids 1. hip/waste ratio 2. Complexion 3. Good teeth 4. Lustrous hair

  12. Evolution and Love, continued Women want protectors/providers Tall (confers social dominance) Emotionally strong Patient Financially secured

  13. A Highly Informal Survey of the Personals Looked at preferences for: a. Height b. Weight c. Income As indicated by men and by women

  14. Trait Preferences in the Personals Note: Based on 4 male, 4 female ads

  15. Woman: I would enjoy meeting an attractive, athletic, well-educated, successful man (28-35) who is honest, caring and mature, and who has a sense of humor …and knows how to make a conversation flow. I appreciate … chivalry but not chauvinism. Woman: I am looking for my soulmate, my spiritual partner, my male version. A REAL MAN, mature, with uncompromising integrity, inner strength, substance and lots of style! Spiritual with a big wonderful heart, unbelievably loving, caring, tender, thoughtful, smart, very successful, accomplished, fun, playful, sexy, passionate, in love with life! Man: You should be very fun ,outgoing, up beat,and pretty. I guess my type physically are slender or petite women, I like women who act like women, And by that I simply mean that I'm not looking for a teeny bopper in big oversized clothes. Class, thats the word that says it best. A sexy classy woman! Who's not afraid to let her hair down and have fun

  16. Love is in the Air—Literally! Body odor conveys info. About the immune system MHC = Major Histocompatibility Complex = genes that help immune system function People differ in MHC mix—some good for fighting flu, some good for fighting strep, for example. BO conveys info. of HMC, and this info affects sexual attraction Why?

  17. The Scent of Love, continued How does MHC (via BO)  sexual attraction? Hint 1a: People with same MHC ARE / ARE NOT mutually attracted. Hint 1b: People with different MHC ARE / ARE NOT mutually attracted. Hint 2: MHC provides info about immune profile Hint 3: People have sex to produce offspring Hint 4: People want offspring to be healthy Explanation: Differing MHC formulas mean kids have more comprehensive immune defense; anti-flu & anti-strep

  18. Erotomania: Love gone mad Common among lonely, isolated people with no other psychiatric history. Love object: someone of higher status It it not erotic, more idealized Convinced that object of affections loves them. Lasts lifetime Women more than men suffer from this

  19. Love Hurts 100000 Country Western songs, pop songs, Italian Operas--lost love hurts. Does love actually "hurt", as in "ouch" as in pain? Neuroimaging studies show that after rejection, brain areas that moderate phys. pain are activated (Anterior Cingulate Cortex, aka ACC) Subjects placed in fMRI scanner see photo of ex-lover who dumped them, then got physical pain-samples (heat). Same brain are engaged when viewing ex-love and when getting "burned." Love hurts. Ouch.

  20. The Last Word on Love Does romantic love boil down to Delusion Smell Selfish Genes Literary myths?

  21. Major S. Ballou to Wife Sarah, 1861 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxDP6q6C5mE The indications are strong that we shall move [into battle] in a few days.. I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more. The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. …If I do not [return] my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. But, O Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and darkest nights,… always, always… [Ballou was killed shortly after, at the Battle of Bull Run]

  22. Pleasant affect Unpleasant affect Life satisfaction Domain satisfactions Joy Guilt and shame Desire to change life Work Elation Sadness Satisfaction w’ current life Family Contentment Anxiety and worry Satisfaction with past Leisure Pride Anger Satisfaction with future Health Affection Stress Sig. others’ view of one’s life Finances Happiness Depression Self Ecstacy Envy One’s group Subjective Well Being

  23. Does Not Predict SWB Does Predicts SWB Income Social contacts, soc. integration Age Goals: IQ a. Congruent goals Attractiveness b. Meeting goals Not having psychopathology Genes (40%-80%) Personality (+ extroversion, optimism) - Neuroticism Culture (+ in Latin countries) What Does, and Doesn’t, Predict SWB?

  24. SWB and Income

  25. Goals and Subjective Well Being (SWB) SWB enhanced by pursuing intrinsically satisfying goals Prison evidence: I need self-acceptance, meaning Suffer more I need biceps, abs Suffer less Goals that meet fundamental needs  happiness Goals and culture West promotes self-completion, pers. goals  happy East promotes community, social goals  happy Internally congruent goals Likes activity, outdoors, excite. ___ Fireman? ___ CEO?

  26. Happiness and Heath: The Nun Study Happiness  more Immunoglobulin A (S-igA) Longer life Nun study   * Sample = convent nuns * Review convent applications, why want to be a nun * Rate applications for happy vs. negative tone Happy: Glory of God, rapture, serenity Unhappy: Avoid sin, teach damnation * Survival rates 60 years later Happy nuns: 80% still alive Unhappy nuns: 55% still alive

  27. Self Structure and Well Being Actual Self: Who you truly are, heart of hearts, at your core. Values, likes, desires Other selves: Self as student, friend, son/daughter, etc. Self Congruence: Are all your various “selves” consistent with your “actual self” Traits: Qualities that make up your selves: (pos. = skilled, kindly, competent; neg = selfish, lazy, jealous, etc.) Negative Elaboration (NE): Degree that different kinds of negative traits apply to your different selves. QUESTION: How do congruence and NE affect SWB?

  28. Happy With Being a Mom(Reich, Harber, & Siegel, 2008) Participants: 33 first time expectant mothers Time 1: Self structure reporting BEFORE giving birth a. Self-congruence: How much does “real me” fit with: (1) me as a mother (2) me with the father of my child b. Neg. Elaboration (NE): How much are my various selves (real me, me as mother, me with child’s father) filled with negative traits? Time 2: Feelings of depression AFTER giving birth

  29. 12 10 8 low NE Depression 6 high NE 4 2 0 LOW HIGH Depression Post-Childbirth maternal self-congruence Note. NE: Negative elaboration. Amount of neg. traits w/n “selves” Maternal self-congruence: whether or not actual self contains me as an expecting mother and/or me with father of my child

  30. The Mystery of Laughter

  31. Laughter is essentially a social phenomenon Other species “laugh” Chimp panting Rats chirping Functions of laughter Social bonding Coping Dark side of laughing Derision, in-group insularity & out-group rejection Giggling enuresis Laughter in church phenomenon Much still unknown

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