Communication @ work

1. Communication @ work Human beings are created for relationship, that is, for interaction with others • at home • at work • in the community • in the church/mosque

2. Communication @ work We spend a greater proportion of our time at work or with work related issues. We must learn to get along with people at the work place. Our coworkers are like our second family.

3. Communication @ work For some people their closest or most important relationships are formed in the workplace. Work atmosphere needs to be as conflict free as possible. Conflicts are inevitable. Minimize negative aspects of conflict. Your interaction with people will either deplete or replenish you. Are you a depleter or a replenisher? You are a depleter if you drain people emotionally or spiritually.

4. Have you met some impossible people??? They misinterpret, personalize and respond with inappropriate levels of intensity.

5. Difficult people There are some difficult people out there, sometimes called Level II or High Maintenance people. Level I people are normal everyday people like us! Types of High Maintenance People • The critic – self appointed complainer who is constantly chipping away at others. • The martyr – always the victim and full of self pity. • The pessimist – the one who sees the glass half-empty: “It will never work”

6. Difficult people (contd) • The steam roller – the one who doesn’t know the meaning of the word tact. Their comments hurt, but they don’t care. • The gossiper – who is filled with envy. • The taker, the workaholic, and the controller. Whenever you have identified people as difficult, ask yourself these questions: • To what degree must I be involved with this person? • To what degree do I need to be involved with this person? • To what degree do I want to be involved with this person?

7. Difficult people (contd) Your response to the first two may point to the need to make some adjustment in order to get along. Remember that getting along may not mean a deep level of involvement but rather a more accepting, understanding, and pleasant interaction.

8. Impossible people INTERACTING WITH IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE • Impossible people act more like underdeveloped adolescents than adults • Set limits that are consistent in what you say or do • Pay attention when they do something right • Ignore their bad behaviour for the most part • Paying too much attention to the unacceptable behaviour reinforces it.

9. People can change Are there any people you would like to change? Sure there are. If you want someone to change, change yourself. Change how you respond to people Change how you respond to • Silence • Disruption • Lateness • Inattention Changing yourself works better than trying to change others. Even if you see no changes in other people, your own changes will make life better for you.

10. Listening • One of the greatest gifts one person can give another is the gift of listening. • Listening is an act of caring for and connecting with the person who is talking. • Hearing is basically to gain context or information for your own purpose. • Listening means you are trying to understand the feelings of the other person and are listening for his/her sake. • Hearing means you are concerned about what is going on inside you during the conversation.

11. You are listening when… • You are not thinking about what you are going to say when the other person stops talking. • You accept what is being said without judging what the person is saying or how it is being said. Acceptance does not mean agreement with the context of what is said. • You are interested in the person’s feelings and opinions and you attempt to understand the issue from his perspective. Listening to your coworker means letting go of your own concerns long enough to consider the other person. You learn when you listen.

12. Components of communication • Actual content • Tone of voice • Nonverbal communication Tone of voice and nonverbal expression give content meaning.

13. Why listen? • To understand the other person • To enjoy the other person • To learn from the other person • To give help, assistance or comfort to the other person.

14. 10 barriers to listening • Defensiveness • Responding to explosive words • Personal biases and attitudes • Conflicting listening styles • Inner struggles • Interruptions • Overload • Bad timing • Physical exhaustion • Selective attention. Listen with your ears, eyes and body.

15. Generation gap • Acknowledge and understand generational differences. • Have a tolerant attitude toward them. • Open ear, open mind and an open heart will help in understanding. Communication challenges between men and women • Men and women are wired differently. • Neither is wired wrong, just differently. • In order to work in harmony, men and women need to become “bilingual”, each fluent in the language of the opposite sex. • Adapt, be flexible speak the language of others and get along better. How personalities affect communication • Every person begins life with a small number of inherited personality traits that make each person a little different from everyone else. • These basic inborn traits determine many individual differences in personality

16. Extroversion and introversion Characteristics of an Extrovert • Social creatures • Approachable by friends and strangers • May dominate conversations • Not the best listeners • Talk first before thinking • Typically likes noise • Talks louder and faster during a conflict • Lonely if others are not around • Always looking for affirmation.

17. Characteristics of an Introvert • Think before they talk • Shy or reserved • Usually quiet among strangers • Love privacy and need quiet time to themselves • Good listeners and hate to be interrupted when talking • Slow to make friends in a new work setting • Suspicious of compliments • Give comments sparingly and usually in private • Motto is “stay out of my territory and I’ll stay out of yours”

18. E and I compatibility • Accept the differences and uniqueness of others • Give them permission to be the way they are • Don’t try to make others like yourself • E’s need to remember that I’s can be exhausted by superficial socializing • I’s need to remember

19. Conflict scenarios for e’s and i’s • An E boss may tend to force an I employee to engage in group discussions with limited time to think • New work stations with open – to- the- world configurations without any privacy may make it difficult for I’s to concentrate • E receives promotion and now has an office with a closed door and has to deal with facts and figures on the computer rather than with people • E’s can monopolize meetings and cause I’s to shake their heads in confusion

20. Conflict scenarios for e’s and i’s …cont. • The I works inside his head, exploring alternatives and coming to a conclusion, but doesn’t tell anyone, even though he thinks he did. • E’s motto is “let it all out”; while the I’s motto is “keep it all in”. • In goal-setting, E wants to talk things through and make it a group experience. • I likes to see information in writing to think about it for a while. • Both E’s and I’s need opportunity to deal with goals and decisions in their own way.

21. Self – assessment • Are you an introvert or an extrovert? • Do you need time alone or time with people? • What about your coworkers? • Remember you can grow by understanding and adapting to these differences. • Try to understand and accept them. • Write down each characteristic that describes you ( you may find some characteristics on both sides of the fence) • List how you will respond to others at work in different ways than you have in the past, based on their personality types. YOU COULD BE AMAZED AT THE RESULT!!!