Communicating in a Business Environment

1. Communicating in a Business Environment October 19, 2011 Facilitator: Joelle LaGuerre

2. Objectives • Review the basics of verbal communication • Assess your own communication style and habits and understand how it impacts your interactions • Understand the importance of communicating assertively • Learn tips for presenting and asserting yourself more effectively, especially in challenging situations

3. Question What does successful communication look like? Confidential

4. Components of successful communication • Confidence • Clarity • Tact • Diplomacy • Credibility • Persuasion • Mutual understanding Confidential

5. Communication basics Confidential

6. Communication basics Communicators Confidential

7. Communication basics Producing and interpreting messages Confidential

8. Communication basics • Face-to-face • Phone • Email • Text • Instant message Confidential

9. Choosing the right channel Every communication situation necessitates an appropriate channel choice. As you choose a channel for certain communication events, think about the purpose of the communication and the consequences of that choice. Confidential

10. Communication Basics NOISE Confidential

11. Types of noise • Physical - External interference • Personal - Cognitive or mental interference, ongoing thoughts in our mind • Semantic - Speaker and listener assigning different meanings Confidential

12. The Three V’s One way to ensure successful communication others is to reduce the noise related to three V’s: • Visual • Vocal • Verbal Confidential

13. Visual • Eye contact • Facial expression • Body language • Proximics Confidential

14. Vocal • Speed of voice • Volume • Inflection • Tone of voice Confidential

15. BREAK Confidential

16. Verbal Verbals are the most obvious aspect of communi- cation – the actual words you use. Your choice of words determines how your communication will come across to others. What kinds of emotions and/or reactions can the wrong choice of words inspire? Confidential

17. The 4 Kinds of Expression • Observations • Thoughts • Feelings • Needs Each category requires a different style of expression and often a very different vocabulary. Confidential

18. Whole vs. Partial Messages Whole messages include all four kinds of expression: • What you see • What you think • What you feel • What you need . Confidential

19. Whole vs. Partial Messages When you leave something out, it’s called a partialmessage. Partial messages often create confusion and distrust. Not every relationship or situation requires whole messages, but partial messages with something important left out or obscured are always dangerous. Confidential

20. Contaminated messages Contamination takes place when your message are mixed or mislabeled. For example, I might be contaminating feelings, thoughts, and observations if I said to my colleague: “I see that you’re late again.” What four distinct things did I need to say? Confidential

21. Contaminated messages “I see that you’re late again.” What four distinct things could I say? Observation_________________________________ Thought_________________________________ Feeling_________________________________ Need________________________________ Confidential

22. Rules for Effective Expression Messages should be… • Direct • Clear • Straight • Supportive • Immediate Confidential

23. Rules for Effective Expression Messages should be… • Direct • Clear • Straight • Supportive • Immediate Confidential

24. Rules for Effective Expression • Messages should be direct. The first requirement for effective expression is knowing when something needs to be said. This means that you don’t assume people know what you think or want. Communicating directly means you don’t make any assumptions. Confidential

25. Rules for Effective Expression • Messages should be clear. A clear message is a complete and accurate reflection of your thoughts, feelings, needs, and observations, as is relevant to the situation at hand. Don’t leave important things out or fudge by being vague or abstract. Confidential

26. Messages should be clear • Don’t ask questions when you need to make a statement. • Keep your messages congruent. • Avoid double messages. • Be clear about your wants and feelings. • Distinguish between observations and thoughts. • Focus on one thing at a time. Confidential

27. Rules for Effective Expression • Messages should be straight. A straight message is one in which the stated purpose is identical with the real purpose of the communication. Disguised intentions and hidden agendas put you in a position of manipulating rather than relating to people. Confidential

28. Messages should be straight You can check if your message is straight by asking yourself 2 questions: • Why am I saying this to this person? • Do I want him or her to hear it or something else? Confidential

29. Rules for Effective Expression • Messages should be supportive. Being supportive means you want the other person to be able to hear you without getting upset or defensive. Communicating supportively means that you avoid win/lose and right/wrong games. These are interactions in which the intention of one or both players is winning or proving the other person wrong, rather than sharing and understanding. Confidential

30. Messages should be supportive You can check if your message is supportive by asking yourself 2 questions: • Is my purpose to hurt someone, to aggrandize myself, or to communicate? • Do I want my message to be heard defensive or accurately? Confidential

31. Messages should be supportive Stay clear of these unsupportive and unfair tactics: • Global labels • Sarcasm • Dragging up the past • Negative comparisons • Judgmental “you-messages” • Threats Confidential

32. Rules for Effective Expression • Message should be immediate. Delaying communication often exacerbates feelings and emotions. What you couldn’t express at the moment will be communicated later in subtle or passive-aggressive ways. Sometimes, however, when emotions are high, it may be best to delay communicating. In these cases, make sure to set a time for follow-up. Confidential

33. Self-Awareness The only way you can be sure to give consistently whole messages is to become aware of your own inner experience. Confidential

34. Self-Awareness Questions to ask yourself: • What am I observing, thinking, feeling, and wanting? • What is the purpose of this communication? • Is the stated purpose the same as the real purpose? • What, if anything, am I afraid of saying? • What do I really need to communicate? Confidential

35. Awareness of the other person A certain amount of audience analysis should precede any important message. Awareness of the other person also means keeping track of the listener’s response while you’re talking. Confidential

36. Awareness of the other person Questions to ask yourself: • What kind of shape might the other person in? (i.e. in a rush, in pain, sad or angry) • What is the other person’s body language communicating? • If it is appropriate, is the other person asking questions or giving feedback? Confidential

37. Place awareness Whenever delivering an important message, it’s critical to consider the suitability of the environment. For instance, partial and contaminated messages tend to increase as you feel the need to compress and/or sanitize your comments for public consumption. Confidential

38. Place awareness General rules for finding the right environment: • Consider the nature of the message. • Consider if privacy would be best. • Consider what interruptions you might be exposed to. • Find a place that’s congenial and physically comfortable. • Consider the noise level and other distractions that you may be exposed to. Confidential

39. Communication styles • Passive • Aggressive • Passive-aggressive (or manipulative) • Assertive Confidential

40. Communication Styles The three non-assertive styles of communicating can sometimes be effective, but they usually involve a degree of: • dishonesty, • negativity, • time-wasting, and • conflict. Only the assertive style leads to honest, effective, and problem-solving communication. Confidential

41. Assessment: How assertive are you? To learn to be more assertive, it helps to take a look at where you are right now. Answer the questions on the assessment honestly . Confidential

42. Question: Why is it so hard to be assertive? Confidential

43. Mistaken traditional assumptions • It is shameful to make mistakes. • If you can’t convince others that your feelings are reasonable, then your feelings must be wrong. • You should accept the views of others, especially if they are in a position of authority. Keep your opinions to yourself. Listen and learn. • You shouldn’t take up others valuable time with your problems. People don’t want to hear that you feel bad, so keep it to yourself. • Don’t be antisocial. People are going to think you don’t like them if you say you’d rather be alone instead of with them. Confidential

44. Assertive rights I have the right to… • Be treated with respect and to respect others. • Ask for explanations for things I do not understand. • Change my mind. • Make mistakes, to be responsible for them, and to learn from them. • Say “NO” without feeling guilty. • Express anger, pleasure, and other feelings when and where I think it appropriate (in a manner that will not breach another person’s rights). • Express my ideas and opinions and have them listened to. • Make reasonable requests. (The responsibility is to acknowledge other people’s rights to refuse.) • Not assert myself. Confidential

45. A note about assertive rights Rights need to be balanced with responsibilities. If we do not accept this balance, then assertiveness simply decays into another form of aggression or selfishness. Confidential

46. Communication apprehension • Trait apprehension refers to fear of communication generally, regardless of situation. • State apprehension is specific to a given communication situation. It is very common, and is experienced by most people in most situations. Confidential

47. Question: What are some examples of situations in which communicating assertively is challenging? Confidential

48. Challenging situations • Giving constructive feedback • Responding to constructive or negative feedback • Responding “on the fly” • Disagreeing with the boss • Communicating change • Saying NO (when you want to say yes) • Dealing with irate customers Confidential

49. Tips for presenting yourself • Prepare. If you are part of a work team on a project, stay on top of the big picture. Especially before a meeting, take some to familiarize yourself with new updates. Pay attention to emails from other members of the team, which may include progress reports or summaries. In other words, stay informed! Know what the goals or expectations are for the entire project. This will put you in a better position to contribute and answer questions, which will naturally help you feel more confident. Confidential

50. Tips for presenting yourself • Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” Even when you’re prepared, you might be faced with a question that you don’t know the answer to. It’s okay to say “I don’t know.” or “I’m not sure.” The important thing is to follow that up with “Let me get back you about that.” or to direct the questioner to another resource where they can get the information they need. Confidential