Communications

1. Communications • Introduction • Language • Nonverbal Communication • Listening • Public Communication

2. 1. Oral Communication 2. Listening Ability 3. Enthusiasm 4. Written skills 5. Technical Competence 6. Appearance 7. Poise 8. Work Experience 9. Resume 10. Specific Degrees Held Factors in Securing Professional Employment

3. Communication Principles • Communication can be intentional or unintentional. • It is impossible NOT to communicate. • Communication is irreversible. • Communication is unrepeatable.

4. Communication Misconceptions • Meanings are not in words. • More communication is not always better. • Communication will not solve all problems. • Communication is not a natural ability.

5. A wide range of behaviors Ability to choose the most appropriate behavior Skill at performing behaviors Commitment Perspective Self-Monitoring Characteristics of Competent Communicators

6. Self-Monitoring

7. Perception • “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” Bleiberg and Leubling

8. Stereotyping • Women are _________________. • Men are ____________________. • Hispanics are ________________. • Teenagers are _______________. • Dancers are _________________. • Politicians are ________________. • People with AIDS are __________.

9. Cultural Differences • Language • Nonverbal behaviors • Beliefs about talk and silence • Eye contact • Proximity

10. Accuracy or Inaccuracy? • We judge ourselves more charitably than others. • We cling to first impressions. • We assume others are similar to us. • We are influenced by the obvious.

11. Describe the behavior. Suggest possible interpretations of the behavior. Request clarification about how to interpret the behavior. “You said you really liked the job I did, But something in your voice made me think you may not be happy with it. How do you really feel about my work?” Perception Checking to Prevent Misunderstandings

13. Symbolic Subjective Rule-governed Phonological Rules (sound) Syntactic Rules (arrangement) Semantic Rules (meaning) Pragmatic Rules (interpretation by context) Language is

14. “Let’s get together later.” “You look really pretty today.” What does it mean if your friend says it? What does it mean if your boss says it? Messages take on different meanings.

15. Impact of Language • Identity • Affiliation • Power

16. Abuse of Language • “Family Catches Fire Just in Time.” • “20 Year Friendship Ends at Altar.” • “We never do anything fun anymore.” • “You need to have a better attitude.” • “These (those) people need our help.” • “It’s not bad .” “It’s good.”

17. “I’m worried when you’re late.” “I’m glad to see you.” “I’m bored in the class.” “It bothers me when you’re late.” “It’s nice to see you.” “It’s a boring class.” Taking Responsibility for It

18. “You’re really a great person……. “You’ve done good work for us……… “This paper has some good ideas….. BUT I think we should stop seeing each other.” BUT we’re going to have to let you go.” BUT I’m giving it a D because it’s late.” Taking Responsibility for But

19. “You’re always late.” “You need to have more discipline in your classroom.” “When you aren’t here by 7:30, I have to leave my duty station to cover yours.” “When you don’t have a tardy policy, I have a hard time dealing with your referrals.” “I” vs. “You”

20. Three Parts to the “I” Statement • Describe the behavior: “When you don’t turn in your grades on time... • Describe your feelings about it: “I can’t meet the deadline for data processing… • Describe the consequences for you: “and our student report cards will be late to parents.”

21. “You need to be more organized.” “You shouldn’t be wasting time on that activity.” “You don’t have control of your classroom.” “We need to work on a format for your daily lesson plans.” “I would like to see us focus more on the SS Standards.” “We need to figure out how to manage your difficult students.” “We” vs. “You”

22. Fact/Opinion Confusion Fact/Inference Confusion Emotive Language I’m casual. You’re a little careless. He’s a slob. Three Bad Habits

23. Gender and Communication

24. Gender and Language • Content: Women discuss relationships; men discuss events. • Reasons: Women use conversation to nurture; men use conversation to accomplish the job at hand. • Style: Women use questions and justifiers; men use directives and interruptions.

25. Nonverbal Communication • No matter what we do, we give off information about ourselves. • Nonverbal communication makes up 60-90% of our messages.

26. Unintentional behaviors differ from deliberate ones.

27. Nonverbal communication is culture-bound.

28. Repeats Substitutes Complements Accents Regulates Contradicts Nonverbal communication serves many functions.

29. Body orientation Posture Gestures Facial expressions Vocal tones Touch Physical attractiveness Clothing Proxemics Territoriality Types of Nonverbal Communication

30. Nonverbal communication is ambiguous.

31. Deception • Young people are better at uncovering lies than older people are. • Women are more accurate than men at detecting lying; however, women are more likely to fall for the deception of intimate partners than are men. • We are more likely to be deceived by those we know well.

32. When our nonverbal communication contradicts our verbal communication, the nonverbal messages are more powerful. “What you do speaks so loud that the world can’t hear what you say.”

33. Dangerous Mistakes • Criminals select victims on the basis of the vulnerability shown in their posture. • A tense posture indicates lack of power. • Children, poor listeners, and people with low intellects do not understand sarcasm. • Touch boosts compliance. • We are more likely to obey people dressed in a high-status manner.

34. ………continued • Students are more responsive to teachers who reduce the distance between themselves and their classes. • We grant people with higher status more personal “territory.” • Low-status people must never make more important people wait.

35. We spend more time listening than participating in any other form of communication.

36. Elements of Listening • Hearing • Attending • Understanding • Responding • Remembering

37. “Everybody’s talkin’ at me - I don’t hear a word they’re sayin’ - Only the echoes of my mind.”

38. Types of Nonlistening • Pseudolistening • Stage-hogging • Selective listening • Insulated listening • Defensive listening • Ambushing • Insensitive listening

39. Who’s listening? • 20% are thinking about sex. • 20% are reminiscing about something. • 20% are paying attention, but only 12% are listening actively. • The rest are worrying, daydreaming, thinking about lunch or religion.

40. Bore - a person who talks when you wish him to listen Conversation - a fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor. Egoist - a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me Heaven - a place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own. Devil’s Dictionary - byAmbrose Bierce

41. Message overload Preoccupation Rapid thought Effort External noise Hearing problems Faulty assumptions Lack of apparent advantages Lack of training Why don’t we listen?

42. Talk less. Get rid of distractions. Don’t judge prematurely. Look for key ideas. Ask questions. Paraphrase. How can we listen better?

43. Public Presentations • Content (what you say) • Delivery (how you say it) • Media (what they say you said)

44. Before you begin, you should know……. • Your purpose • Your audience • Your subject • Your objective (in 25 words or less) • Three major points • How much time you have to speak • How the program is arranged

45. Objective Main points in outline form Opening Closing Do not write out your entire speech. Do not read your speech. Use notes if necessary. Practice!!!!!!! What should be written?

46. Effective Delivery • Use simple words • Don’t use lots of numbers • Maintain eye contact • Don’t memorize • Gesture and move naturally • Channel nervous energy into enthusiasm

47. Dealing with the Media • Know who you’re dealing with. • Ask for time if you need it. • Don’t say anything you don’t want to see in print. • If you don’t know the answer, say so.

48. Transition Techniques • Step I: Take the question, let the questioner finish, and do not interrupt. • Step II: Use a transition phrase to revert to your own agenda: • “Our main concern is…” • “Our top priority is…” • What we are focused on is…” Close the interview.

49. Use transitions to • Avoid giving personal opinions. • Avoid hypothetical statements. • Avoid interpreting facts beyond your area of expertise. • Avoid leading questions that detract from your public record or the integrity of your message.

50. Other Good Advice • Don’t do interviews in your private office. • Treat phone interviews just like formal interviews. • Tape your interview if the situation is controversial.