Coping with Emotions

1. Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Coping with Emotions Session 3: Advanced Distress Tolerance

2. Last week’s Distress Tolerance session, we learnt How to distract yourself from painful situations, soothe and relax, so you can deal with the situation in a more effective way by: • Identifying destructive coping strategies • Discussed what radical acceptance is and began to think about using it • Distraction techniques to distract yourself from difficult thoughts and overwhelming emotions • Began to develop ideas about how to self soothe Quick Review of Last Week

3. This sessionwill help you feel more empowered when you encounter painful situations and help you build a more fulfilling and relaxing life by: • Developing strategies for visualisation, cue-relaxation, higher power thinking, taking time out and living in the moment • Learning self-encouraging coping thoughts • Learn how to use self-affirming statements • Consolidated your learning by drafting some new coping strategies Aims of the Session

4. Powerful stress-reduction technique • Soothe yourself by imagining a safe place • Body and brain can’t always distinguish imagination from what's really happening • So if you create a soothing place in your mind, and your body will respond Safe Place Visualisations

5. Think of a place, real or imaginary that makes you feel safe and relaxed • If you struggle thinking of a place, think of a relaxing colour • Complete the following sentences about your safe place before beginning the visualisation: My safe place is______________ My safe place makes me feel_________ Visualisation exercise (p32-33) Safe Place Visualisations

6. These are the ideas, concepts and actions that fill your life with worth and importance • Remembering what you value helps you to tolerate stressful situations • It can help when you get upset about the same situation or person again and again Rediscovering Your Values

7. Identify how you value 10 components of your life • How important are each of them to you? Rate their importance from 0-10 • Be honest, show your true feelings! Valued Living Questionnaire

8. Create a more fulfilling life by formulating your intentions and commitments based on your values • Identify the areas of your life you rated 5-10 in the Valued Living Questionnaire • Fill these in on the Committed Action worksheet • Identify one intention for each of these valued components which will help make life more fulfilling • Commit to several actions that will move this forwards, and when you will begin Having a more fulfilling life can help you feel stronger during tougher times and give you something to look forward to when you have to do things you don’t like Committed Action

9. Quick and easy way to reduce tension • Use a word like ‘relax’ or ‘peace’ • Train your body to release muscle tension when thinking about your cue-word • Initially, you’ll need guidance to practice after practicing for a few weeks, you’ll be able to relax your whole body • Begin by choosing a cue word Cue-controlled Relaxation

10. (p34) Cue-controlled Relaxation Exercise Pg. 34

11. Identify your higher power and make yourself feel more powerful • Whether you believe in one god, many gods, the universe, the goodness that exists in human beings • Having faith in something bigger and more powerful than yourself can make you feel empowered, safe and calm • At some point we all feel hopeless or powerless and unexpected situations can hurt us or the people we care about • So having faith in something can help you feel connected to a bigger purpose in life and think about the bigger picture • If your spiritual tradition no longer gives you peace and strength, re-examine that faith Empowerment: Higher Powers

12. What are your beliefs about a higher power that give you strength and comfort? • Why are these beliefs important to you? • How do these beliefs make you feel? • How do they make you think about others? • How do they make you think about life in general? • How do you acknowledge these beliefs in everyday life? • What can you do to remind yourself of your beliefs on a regular basis? • What can you do to remind yourself of them next time you are distressed? Empowerment: Higher Powers

13. Reconnecting with your faith • Think about a person you admire who can be your higher power • Look up at the stars • Go to the beach and look out to sea • Think about Planet Earth • Get out into nature, think about the trees, the birds, the landscape • Go to a place that you find awe-inspiring • Go to a crowded place and see all the people going in their own directions • Think about the human body & human life Pg. 41 Higher Power Activities

15. Time out-not just for kids • We all need to relax and refresh our bodies and minds • We often don’t take time for ourselves as we feel we’ll be disappointing someone else Imagine a women who stands on a street corner on a hot day, she's gives water to everyone who passes by, but what happens when she is thirsty? Her jug is now empty from helping everyone else. • How often have you felt like this women? Time Out

16. Treat yourself as kindly as you treat others • Do one nice thing for yourself that you’ve been putting off • Take time to devote to yourself- even if it is a few hours a week to do things like take a walk or make your favourite meal • Taker time off work • Go somewhere beautiful, a park, ocean, museum, hike • Take time to do things for your own life, errands, shopping, doctors appointment etc. Time Out

17. We can spend so much in the past or worrying about the future and we miss living in the present moment Next time you are in a distressing situation, ask yourself: • Where am I right now? • Am I time-travelling in the future, worrying about something that may not happen? • Am I time travelling in the past? • Am I in the present, really paying attention to what I’m doing, thinking and feeling? The Power of Now

18. If you're not in the present moment, refocus your attention: • Notice what you’re thinking about and recognisee if you’re time travelling, bring your focus back to NOW • Notice how you are breathing, how your body feels and observe any tension or pain • Notice any painful emotions you may be experiencing as a result of your time travelling • Take long sloe breaths to help you refocus on the present Exercise pg.45 The Power of Now

19. Many times in life we need to hear some encouraging words to keep us motivated or help us endure what we’re experiencing • Coping thoughtsare reminders of how strong you have been in the past when you’ve survived distressing situations • When you start to feel agitated or distressed, the early stages, self-encouraging coping thoughts can be particularly useful in soothing yourself before things spiral • If you recognise signs of distress early on these can help better soothe yourself Examples pg. 49 Self-encouraging Coping Thoughts

20. This situation won’t last forever • I’ve already been through many other painful experiences and I’ve survived • This too shall pass • My feelings make me uncomfortable right now, but I can accept them • I can be anxious and still deal with the situation • I’m strong enough to handle what’s happening to me right now • This is an opportunity for me to learn how to cope with my fears • I can ride this out and not let it get to me • I can take all the time I need right now to let go and relax • I’ve survived other situations like this one before, and I’ll survive this one too • My anxiety/fear/sadness won’t kill me, it just doesn’t feel good right now • These are just my feelings, and eventually they’ll go away • This situation sucks, but it’s only temporary • It’s OK to feel anxious/sad/afraid sometimes • My thoughts don’t control my life, I do • I can think different thoughts if I want to Self-encouraging Coping Thoughts

21. These are useful for building a healthier self-image • Their purpose is to remind yourself of the good qualities you possess to give yourself strength and resilience in difficult situations • They will remind you that underneath your overwhelming emotions is a caring, loving person who is capable of handling a distressing situation in a healthier way Self-affirming Statements

22. I might have some faults, but I’m still a good person • I care about myself and other people • I accept who I am • I love myself • I’m a good person, not a mistake • I’m good, and nobody’s perfect • I embrace both my good and bad qualities • Today I take responsibilities for everything I do and say • I’m becoming a better person every day • I’m a sensitive person with rich emotional experiences • Each day I do the best I can • Even though I forget sometimes, I’m still a good person • There’s a purpose to my life even though I may not always see it • I radically accept myself Self-affirming Statements

23. Now you’re familiar with distress tolerance skills, you can create new coping strategies for your future • Examine distressing situations from the past and identify how you’ve coped with them • Also think about what the unhealthy consequences were • Identify new coping strategies that you’ll use in the future and what the healthy consequences might be • You’ll need different ones for when you’re alone and when you’re with others Creating New Coping Strategies

24. Create a personally tailored plan for dealing with some common distressing situations • Think about when you are alone and also with other people • The plan is that you will try the first strategy to help deal with distress, if that doesn’t work, move onto the next strategy and so on… When I’m upset and dealing with other people: • First I’ll _____________________________________ • Next I’ll ____________________________________ • Then I’ll ____________________________________ • Finally I’ll ___________________________________ Creating an Emergency Coping Plan

25. Practice your distress tolerance skills as often a possible • Don’t get frustrated with yourself fi you don’t get them right in the first try • Remember your plan for handling a crisis is distract, relax and cope Conclusion

26. Complete the new coping strategies worksheets • Using the sheet provided, and the list of new coping thoughts, develop a list of new alternative coping thoughts to the distressing situations you are likely to face over the coming weeks, months or years Create an emergency coping plan Homework: Coping Thoughts & New Coping Strategies

27. Course Overview

28. Humber Recovery College Well Done! You’ve completed Session 2!Next Week: Session 3: Basic Mindfulness Skills