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Topic one Parenting Teenagers: relationships and behaviour

Topic one Parenting Teenagers: relationships and behaviour. Why Parenting Teenagers: relationships & behaviour? Features frequently in calls to parenting helplines Highlighted by Capability Scotland’s 1 in 4 poll . What did we use?. Data from calls to helplines Review of existing research

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Topic one Parenting Teenagers: relationships and behaviour

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  1. Topic oneParenting Teenagers: relationships and behaviour

  2. Why Parenting Teenagers: relationships & behaviour? • Features frequently in calls to parenting helplines • Highlighted by Capability Scotland’s 1 in 4 poll

  3. What did we use? • Data from calls to helplines • Review of existing research • Survey of disabled parents and parents of disabled teenagers • Feedback from services and academics on draft report to check relevance

  4. What do we know? • Less support for parents of teens • Lots of calls to parenting helplines – time when parents struggle • Disability excluded from most mainstream research on families • Most research on 2-parent heterosexual families • Lots of research on ‘social problems’ less on everyday issues

  5. Conflict • Conflict can be useful for teen development • How, with whom and why conflict happens is important • Privacy boundaries • Learning to manage conflict • Developing emotional responses

  6. Conflict • Inter-parental conflict can draw teens in • Parents need support to manage own behaviour and emotions and cope with conflict

  7. Questions • Is conflict seen as a typical part of growing up? • Do parents of boys and girls have different experiences of conflict? • How can services support parents with different types of family conflict?

  8. Communication and Relationships • Good communication important in families • Can contribute to positive outcomes for teens • The issue of balancing support and control is complex • Not clear where parents would get support to develop communication skills

  9. Questions • How do services support parents over deciding appropriate levels of supporting and control? • How can services help parents to negotiate agreements that work for both sides?

  10. Independence • Parents cope best when they can enjoy their teenager’s increasing independence • Parents sometimes feel anxious and rejected which leads them to curtail their teenager’s activities • Parents need support to see growing independence as healthy and appropriate

  11. Questions • How can parents be supported to be less anxious over independence and understand age-appropriate behaviour? • What are the implications for lone parents?

  12. Parenting together • Parents agreeing about their approach is more important than who does what • Fathers are less likely to seek formal support and more likely to rely on their partner

  13. Questions • What are the implications for lone parents? • What are the implications for supporting fathers?

  14. Divorce and re-partnering • Close relationships with stepfathers tend to follow close relationships with mothers • Teenagers relationships with their fathers are the same after mothers remarry • Negative comments about fathers after separation affect some boys more than others

  15. Questions • Does family change affect families with teens differently to families with younger children? • How can services best communicate with parents over issues around separation and re-partnering?

  16. Control and monitoring • Communication often works better than coercion in monitoring teenage activities • Teenagers tell parents less than parents assume • Closeness of relationships and agreement over authority help information sharing • Mobile phones are often used to negotiate movement and curfews

  17. Questions • How can parents balance their parental authority with respecting privacy? • How can parents be supported in keeping up good relationships where sharing information is usual? • How can services help in managing expectations over what, and how much, information to share?

  18. Families affected by disability Generally a large amount of similarity • Some differences - • Both mothers and fathers are more likely to be involved in disabled teen’s life • Enjoy seeing social development • Resources and attitudes can restrain opportunities for development

  19. Families affected by disability • Sometimes knowing about their teenagers involves other people more • Impact of disabled parent on teenager • Used mobile phones more • More communication over activities • Wish to ‘protect’ disabled parent

  20. What helps parents cope? • Pride in seeing teen develop socially • Enjoying the maturation of their child • Being supportive • Viewing themselves as warm and affectionate to their teenager • Seeing their teenager acquire new skills

  21. What now? Discussion groups: • Explore implications & identify areas where you think action could be taken • How could action be taken? • In logbooks – other thoughts, reflections, potential areas for action / development

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