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Four Dimensions of Individual Holons (Humans). Every human possesses these four dimensions. Primary Male Sexual Fantasy. How does she look?. Primary attraction to body. Men want sex objects. A man wants the one thing from every woman. Primary Female Sexual Fantasy. What does he do?.
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Primary Male Sexual Fantasy How does she look? Primary attraction to body. Men want sex objects.A man wants the one thing from every woman.
Primary Female Sexual Fantasy What does he do? Primary attraction to social status, power, wealth/earning- potential. Women “marry up“ to success objects.A woman wants everything from one man.
Primary Fantasy Dynamic Ms. 100% Height 30k per inch 35k Number Mr. 80% Male attractiveness $0k $150k+ Female attractiveness
I need to feel safe, met and cared for: I feel threatened/scared; I feel abandoned/disconnected. He does not love me/care for me. FEAR
I need to have sex and be supported/appreciatedI am not good enough to make her feel safe and happy. I am not appreciated as protector/provider. She does not look up to me. Shame
Fear/Shame Downward Spiral Stops romancing Complaining Fixing Nagging Withdrawing into his cave Shaming Angry Love/Stosny: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It Emasculating Sexually unfaithful Emotionally unfaithful Relationship Crash
Learned Gender Roles & Stereotypes Vary between cultures and throughout History: • Type of clothes we wear • Customary length of hair • Professions we choose • Hours we spend at work • What and whom we play with • Who proposes and buys the diamond ring • Assignment of chores around the house, etc.
Animus Complex In Females: • Stage 1: Male as alien outsiderShe fears, hates and is strangely attracted to him. • Stage 2: Male as Father, God or KingShe wants his approval. • Stage 3: Male as HeroShe wants to look up to him (marry up to him). • Stage 4: Male as Independent BeingShe wants to find out who she is outside male relationship. • Stage 5: Male as partnerShe sees him as an equal and opposite partner.
Anima Complex In Males: • Stage 1: Female as MotherHe needs a mommy to take care of him. • Stage 2: Female as sex objectsHe wants her to admire him, be sexually submissive. • Stage 3: Female as a supportive partnerHe wants her to be his caring, loving wife who he provides for. • Stage 4: Female as creative/spiritual guidesShe challenges him to find meaning/love from a source other than woman. • Stage 5: Female as equal partnerHe sees her as an equal and opposite partner.
Healthy ascending: To improve, to go beyond, to grow, to create (relationships/larger structures), and to think big.Unhealthy ascending: To ignore, repress, control, and dominate the lower, instead of embracing and caring for it. • Healthy descending: To be connected with and sensitive to the richness and fullness of the world, body, feelings, emotions, and sexuality. Unhealthy descending: To be overwhelmed, fused with, and run by details, feelings, earthly desires, and needs. • Healthy agency: Autonomous functioning of the individual, taking action through one’s own will, exerting power.Unhealthy agency: Alienation and dissociation from others. • Healthy communion: Peaceful, responsible, considerate, and caring connection with others. Unhealthy communion: Fusion, dependency, neediness, and clinging.
Masculine Feminine Masculine Feminine
Intelligences/Competencies • kinesthetic • mathematical • meditative stages • morals/ethics (what to do) • modes of space and time • musical • needs (immediate needs for well-being) • psychosexual (expression of Eros) • role-taking • self-esteem • self-identity (who are you) • socioemotional capacity • spiritual (what is of ultimate concern) • values/worldviews (what is important) • aesthetics (what is beautiful) • affect/emotion (feelings about things) • altruism • care • cognition (awareness of what is) • communicative competence • concern • creativity • death seizure • defense mechanisms • empathy • gender identity • idea of the good • interpersonal capacity (interacting with others)
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Transpersonal—Evolutionary 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second TierFirst Tier
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Postintegral—embodied or conceptual 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second TierFirst Tier
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Postintegral—embodied or conceptual 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second TierFirst Tier
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Postintegral—embodied or conceptual 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second TierFirst Tier
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Postintegral—embodied or conceptual 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second TierFirst Tier
5. Orange Rational/Modern win or lose Kepler, Copernicus, Newton, Galileo, Columbus
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Postintegral—embodied or conceptual 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second TierFirst Tier
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Postintegral—embodied or conceptual 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second Tier - Being-Based/EvolutionaryFirst Tier - Need-Based
Consciousness Development 8. Turquoise—Postintegral—embodied or conceptual 7. Teal—Integral—integrated or partial 6. Green—Pluralistic—sensitive or indifferent 5. Orange—Rational—win or lose 4. Amber—Mythic—right or wrong 3. Red—Egocentric—good or bad 2. Magenta—Magic—safe or unsafe 1. Infrared—Archaic—dead or alive Second TierFirst Tier
Communication at the same level of consciousness, considering male/female differences Turquise – Co-Creative Teal - Validity Claims (Truth, Truthfulness and Rightness)Green – Non Violent Comm.Orange – Rational Win-WinAmber – Mythic Roles/Rules Red – Arguing and Fighting Magenta – Dominator and Vicitim
Spiritual State-Stages • Gross/Waking (Observe body/objects) • Subtle/Dreaming (Observe thoughts) • Causal/Deep Sleep (Observe experience) • Pure Witness (No subject/object split) • Non-Dual (Integration of the above)
Sexual State-Stages • Repressed Sexuality • Fucking • Having Sex • Lovemaking • Transcendent Sex
States of Falling In Love • State 1: Lust/Infatuation–driven by sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. • State 2:Attraction/Romance –love-struck phase, driven by dopamine (in cocaine, nicotine, meth), norepinephrine (adrenalin) and serotonin that all make us “temporarily insane”. Conflict, healing, growth, awakening. • State 3: Attachment–driven by oxytocin (produced during child birth, nursing and orgasm) and vasopressin.
Personality Types Five Love Languages • Words of affirmation (NLP auditory) • Quality Time • Receiving Gifts (NLP visual) • Acts of Service • Physical Touch (NLP kinesthetic)
Personality Types Enneagram
Personality Types Enneagram Self Preservation Instinct Preoccupied with the safety, comfort, health, energy, and well-being of the physical body. Sexual (aka "Attraction") Instinct Intense drive for stimulation and a constant awareness of the "chemistry" between themselves and others.Social (aka "Adaptive") Instinct Serve the needs of the social situation they find themselves in.
Levels of Interior/Exterior Attraction Interior & Exterior Attraction Him to her Her to him Interior Interior Exterior Exterior ? ?
Metaphorical Triangle of Love Passion Intimacy Ground, Archaic, Submerged (Shadow), Embedded, Emergent Unconscious Co-Dependence – Dependence – Independence – Interdependence – Inter-Being