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Language styles

Language styles. Distance Deference Camaraderie. Mores or “styles”. Distance : typical of middle and upper class Europeans and Americans, sets boundaries between persons; protects “turf”

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Language styles

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  1. Languagestyles Distance Deference Camaraderie

  2. Mores or “styles” • Distance: typical of middle and upper class Europeans and Americans, sets boundaries between persons; protects “turf” • Deference: more typically Asian; the “no” does not challenge existing social hierarchies; sometimes a feminine more • Camaraderie: very new American more, celebrates openness and honesty over politeness

  3. Distance--uses language to establish boundaries A (about co-worker): What’s Mary’s story? B: I really don’t know. A: No, seriously, what do you make of her? B: I don’t know her all that well. She seems nice enough. Doesn’t say much. A: Just look at her! I mean, you know. B: I guess I really don’t.

  4. Deference--uses language to establish hierarchies P: I need you to request those changes in writing. Q: Okay. Do I need a specific form? P: Ask Sue (P’s secretary). Q: Thanks. I’ll get that to you ASAP.

  5. Camaraderie--uses language to show openness and honesty X: Did you get that course you wanted? The one that meets Thursday? Y: NO! I’m NOT taking calc at 3:30 on a Friday. Not happening. X: Maybe another section will open up. Maybe someone will drop. Keep trying. Y: My advisor won’t do ----. I’m so pissed!

  6. Saying Yes Distance Deference Camaraderie

  7. Distance: Want to have dinner? • Sure. When? • Okay. Want me to drive? • I’d like that. • Where did you have in mind? • Sure. Let’s see if Susan also hasn’t eaten. • I know a good place for pizza.

  8. Deference: Want to have dinner? • Yes, thanks for asking. • Oh, you don’t have to do that . . . but . . . if you really want to . . . • Of course. Where should we go? • Oh, that sounds like so much fun! • What a good idea! • I’m sorry. I should have asked if you were hungry.

  9. Camaraderie: Want to have dinner? • Why not? • Well, you’re not my first choice, but you’ll do till he comes along. • I hope you’re paying. I’m broke. • Nah, I figure we’ll sit here all evening starving to death trying to figure out what to do and where to go.

  10. Saying No Distance Deference Camaraderie

  11. Distance: Want to have dinner? • Tonight’s not good for me. • I’m dieting this month. • My mother is visiting me. • This is just not a good time for me. • I’m going to work through dinner. • My calendar is so full. • I’ll get back to you on that.

  12. Deference: Want to have dinner? • I’d love to, but this is simply not a good time for me. • Let’s do that sometime when we’re both not so busy. • As soon as I’ve lost ten pounds, I’m up for it. • That’s a great idea! Unfortunately, I’ve got houseguests and plans.

  13. Camaraderie: Want to have dinner? • Nope. • It would never work--next thing I know you’d want something more. • No, and you don’t really want dinner either. • About as much as I want another hole in my head. • When pigs fly!

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