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COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE. The Conditions for Effective Communication. Lecture 13c. COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVNESS: SKILLS ABOUT SKILLS. In additon to being MINDFUL, FLEXIBLE, METACOMMUNICATORS
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COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE The Conditions for Effective Communication Lecture 13c
COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVNESS: SKILLS ABOUT SKILLS • In additon to being • MINDFUL, FLEXIBLE, METACOMMUNICATORS • To be truly effective we need the way we think – to shift our mindset – shift the taken-for-granted assumptions, ideas and attitudes with which we usually approach situations and other people – to the Appreciative mind set
A Mind Set of Appreciation A mind set of appreciation involves three things Seeking full understanding – “I appreciate your situation” requires Mindfulness – paying attention. Valuing and honouring the other – “I appreciate you.” The third meaning of appreciate – “things appreciate in value” – we translate this as a commitment on our part to add value in the moment to increase our own and the other’s sense of worth.
Appreciative Mind Set and Talk And in terms of adding value to a situation – these first two aspects of the Appreciation certainly help – but, in addition, what if we also chose to see the value in every situation - see what’s working instead of focus on what’s failing. To see the useful, desirable or positive aspects of every situation To speak in ways that call these out in the other
Talking Appreciatively and Effectively: The Humanistic Model of Communication
A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS • HUMANISTIC MODEL CONSIDERS FIVE GENERAL, IDEAL QUALITIES: 1. OPENNESS • BILATERAL/RECIPROCAL • ABILITY TO REACT HONESTLY TO MESSAGES • OWNING OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS 2. EMPATHY • TO FEEL AND EXPERIENCE FROM OTHER’S VIEWPOINT
A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS 3. SUPPORTIVENESS: 3A. DESCRIPTION vs. JUDGMENT • DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED - DON’T EVALUATE • DESCRIBE HOW YOU FEEL - DON’T BLAME • EXPLAIN HOW THIS RELATES TO THE OTHER PERSON 3B. PROVISIONALISM vs. CERTAINTY • HAVING, OPEN-MINDED ATTITUDE • WILLINGNESS TO HEAR OPPOSING VIEWS
A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS 4. POSITIVENESS: • POSITIVE ATTITUDE vs. CRITICAL ATTITUDE • OPEN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT vs. SILENCE 5. EQUALITY: • GIVE OTHER PERSON UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD vs. ACTING IN A SUPERIOR WAY • SHARING SPEAKING AND LISTENING - SHOWING RESPECT BY TAKING TURNS • SOLVING PROBLEMS vs. WINNING