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COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE

COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE. THE CONDITIONS FOR EFFECTIVE COMMMUNICATION!. Lecture 4A. REVIEW: CREATION AND COMMUNICATION OF MEANING . PERCEPTIONS: WHEN THREATENED, WE AUTOMATICALLY DEFEND FIRST, ADAPT (LEARN) LAST

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COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE

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  1. COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE THE CONDITIONS FOR EFFECTIVE COMMMUNICATION! Lecture 4A

  2. REVIEW: CREATION AND COMMUNICATION OF MEANING • PERCEPTIONS: WHEN THREATENED, WE AUTOMATICALLY DEFEND FIRST, ADAPT (LEARN) LAST • COGNITIONS: WHEN THREATENED, WE AUTOMATICALLY MOVE UP INFERENCE LADDER - MORE ABSTRACT LABELS - JUDGMENTS/BELIEFS • EMOTIONS: EXPRESSED BY NON-VERBALS THAT ARE MOSTLY OUT OF OUR CONSCIOUS CONTROL

  3. CONCLUSIONS OF REVIEW • Most of the internal Natural Processes that enable our communication - perception, cognition, emotion are automatic, fast, and certain • High probability of being inaccurate in complicated situations • Our Natural Acts of expression of these internal reactions are self-protective, judgmental and controlling in complicated situations • So, we often do notrespond effectively to others when we feel challenged

  4. CONTEXT AND COMPLICATED SITUATIONS • THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THE COMMUNICATION OCCURS • INFLUENCES THE CONTENT AND FORMOF COMMUNICATION EVEN THOUGH IT IS OFTEN IGNORED • THE ORGANIZATION YOU ARE IN IS AN IMPORTANT CONTEXT • HIERARCHY OF AUTHORITY • POWER DIFFERENCES • STATUS DIFFERENCES • OCCUPATIONAL DIFFERENCES • ORGANIZATIONS CREATE INHERENTLY COMPLICATED SITUATIONS • FULL OF COOPERATION/COMPETITION - COORDINATION/CONTROL • Shapes your talk

  5. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN COMPLICATED SITUATIONS “EFFECTIVE” COMMUNICATION MEANS • GETTING GOOD INFORMATION FROM OTHERS • GIVINGGOOD INFORMATION TO OTHERS • “GOOD”- TRUTHFUL, ACCURATE, RELEVANT, UNDERSTANDABLE • SO YOU BOTH CAN MAKE AN INFORMED CHOICE • AND ACT FROM COMMITMENT NOT COERCION OR MANIPULATION

  6. COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVNESS: SKILLS ABOUT SKILLS • MINDFULNESS • We live with “schemas” not reality. Pay attention to what’s going on around you. • Recognize your inference ladder - don’t jump to “one-clue” conclusions. Wait a moment. Be patient. Look for more information. Ask questions. • FLEXIBILITY • Try not to react emotionally to the unpredicted in others. You’re only responding to your predictions about them - not them. • Being open to something new means learning not to threaten or feel threatened. • METACOMMUNICATION • Learn to talk about talk. • Letting others know how you feel when they spoke opens the door to changing their unspoken - and often incorrect - assumptions about the effects of their talk

  7. A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS • HUMANISTIC MODEL CONSIDERS FIVE GENERAL, IDEAL QUALITIES: 1. OPENNESS • BILATERAL/RECIPROCAL • ABILITY TO REACT HONESTLY TO MESSAGES • OWNING OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS 2. EMPATHY • TO FEEL AND EXPERIENCE FROM OTHER’S VIEWPOINT

  8. A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS 3. SUPPORTIVENESS: • 3A. DESCRIPTION vs. JUDGMENT • DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED - DON’T EVALUATE • DESCRIBE HOW YOU FEEL - DON’T BLAME • EXPLAIN HOW THIS RELATES TO THE OTHER PERSON • 3B. PROVISIONALISM vs. CERTAINTY • HAVING, OPEN-MINDED ATTITUDE • WILLINGNESS TO HEAR OPPOSING VIEWS

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