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NANC Counseling Class

NANC Counseling Class. Part 5 – Key Elements. V. Key Elements. A. Gather Information. Biblical Texts: Proverbs 18:13 – “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” James 1:19a – “Be quick to hear, slow to speak…”

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NANC Counseling Class

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  1. NANC Counseling Class Part 5 – Key Elements

  2. V. Key Elements

  3. A. Gather Information • Biblical Texts: • Proverbs 18:13 – “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” • James 1:19a – “Be quick to hear, slow to speak…” • 1Thessalonians 5:14 – “We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

  4. A. Gather Information • What kind of information? • P – Physical – sleep patterns, medications, diet, activity level, exercise, illnesses • R – Resources & Relationships – job, school, social, spiritual • E – Emotions – feelings, strong emotions • A – Actions – behavior, omission, commission • C – Conceptual – thinking, goals, values, desires, motives • H – Historical – background, past context, present context, failures, events, etc.

  5. A. Gather Information • How to gather information • Formal ways: • Personal Data Inventory (PDI) • Basic Information Sheet • Homework Assignments • Asking proper questions • Extensive and Intensive • Relevant questions • Fact-producing questions • Open-ended vs. closed questions • Specific

  6. A. Gather Information • How to gather information • Observe “halo” data (non-verbal) • Examples: • Tone • Demeanor • Body language • Facial expression • Be careful!

  7. A. Gather Information • How to gather information • Others: • Information from others • Observation from outside session • Listen to how they pray • Record home conversations • Written correspondence

  8. A. Gather Information • The importance of listening • Good listening is essential (Prov. 18:13, 17, 20:25, James 1:19) • Practice good listening skills: • Concentrate on and carefully consider what the other person is saying (don't let your mind wander) • Don't interrupt • Don’t formulate what you are going to say while the other person is talking (Prov. 18:13, 15) • Don’t do distracting things

  9. A. Gather Information • Don't talk too much, but allow breaks in the conversation so that another person can have time to process what was said, formulate a response, and have a chance to speak • Repeat back in your own words what you think you heard. Ask clarifying questions if you are unsure what was said • Don't talk over someone in order to be heard. If you and another begin to speak at the same time, let the other person go first.

  10. A. Gather Information • Withhold judgment – Don’t jump to conclusions, assign motives, etc. • Listen for the right things: • Blame shifting • Phrases like “I can’t,” “unable,” “too much” • Victim mentality • Calling sin an “illness” • Rabbit trails • What they don’t say

  11. A. Gather Information • Hopelessness • Evasiveness or defensiveness • Exaggerations • Judging another’s motives • Willingness to accept responsibility • Emotional words • Interpretive words • Self talk • God talk

  12. B. Discern the Problem • Prayerfully compare data with the standard of God’s Word • Behavior and responses • Thoughts, attitudes, interpretations • Desires, values, expectations, motivations • Look for themes and patterns • View of God? • View of themselves? • View of circumstances, suffering, and trials? • Who or what are they living for / seeking to please? • What seems to be their consistent motivation?

  13. B. Discern the Problem • Label and describe the problem using biblical terminology and concepts • Use biblical labels (Gal. 5:19-21, Mark 7:21-22, Eph. 5:3-5, Col. 3:4-11, 1 Cor. 6:9-11) • Avoid psychological labels and terms (1 Cor. 2:12-13) • What kind of person is he or she? • Believer or unbeliever? (1 Cor. 2:14-15) • Unruly, faint-hearted, or weak? (1 Thes. 5:14) • Mature or immature (Heb. 5:12-14) • Fool or wise man? (Proverbs)

  14. B. Discern the Problem • Put the data on the witness stand • What does the person understand about biblical change? • Are there any complicating factors? • What is the reason the counselee has come for help? • What is the reason that the counselee has not solved his problem? • Are there any medical/organic problems?

  15. B. Discern the Problem • Prayerfully diagnose heart issues • What are potential idols? • What are potential ruling desires (lusts)? • Remember, the Holy Spirit accomplishes this through the Word of God (Heb. 4:12) • Ask X-ray questions. Draw out the issues of the heart (Prov. 20:5) • Rather than make dogmatic assertions, ask questions to help the counselee discover his own heart issues

  16. B. Discern the Problem • Test the validity of your conclusions • Review data • Pray more! • Seek more information • Seek input from another counselor • Explain your understand to the counselee and solicit feedback • Having come to a conclusion about the problem, begin to formulate a strategy to help the person

  17. C. Build a Relationship • Relationship is the context of ministry • Ministry is person-oriented, not problem-oriented • Counseling is not about a “professional” who keeps himself at a distance from the “patient” • Biblical Examples: • Acts 20:31 • 2 Cor. 11:29 • Gal. 4:19, 6:1 • Phil. 2:19-21 • 1 Thes. 2:1-11

  18. C. Build a Relationship • Counsel is best received from a friend (Prov. 27:6, 9) • How to build a relationship: • Be available (Acts 20:31) • Develop genuine love and compassion (Matt. 9:35-38, Rom. 9:1-3, John 11:33-35) • Take people’s concerns seriously. Don’t minimize the problem, but maximize Christ’s sufficiency (Col. 3:11) • Be persuasive, but not manipulative (2 Cor. 1:24)

  19. C. Build a Relationship • Express confidence in the person’s ability to change and obey the Scripture, by God’s grace (Phil. 1:6) • Receive the person’s disagreements without being defensive (Rom. 12:10, 1 Pet. 2:17) • Be confidential, according to biblical limits (Matt. 18:15-17, Rom. 13:1ff, etc.) • Be honest and sincere (Eph. 4:15)

  20. C. Build a Relationship • Model the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) • Communicate clearly (Eph. 4:25, 29) • Pray with and for the person (Gal. 6:2, 1 Thes. 5:17) • Be respectful and gracious (1 Pet. 2:17, Col. 4:6)

  21. D. Give Hope • People need hope • People in general (2 Cor. 4:8, 1 Pet. 1:3-7) • Specific people: • People who have had problems for a long time • People with serious and difficult problems • People with life-shattering experiences • People who have failed • People who are spiritually weak • People with marriage difficulties • People who are depressed • People who are suicidal

  22. D. Give Hope • True hope vs. Empty hope • Empty hope is based on: • Wrong goals • Denial of reality • Mystical or wrong thinking • Bad theology

  23. D. Give Hope • True hope • Is the result of salvation (1 Pet. 1:3, Col. 1:4-5, 25-27, 1 Tim. 1:1) • Is based upon Scripture (Ps. 119:49, 130:5) • Is realistic (Rom. 8:28) • Is a choice (1 Pet. 1;13) • Is based on what we know (Rom. 5:2-23, James 1:2-3)

  24. D. Give Hope • How to inspire hope • Help the person grow in their relationship with Christ • Teach the person to think biblically: • About the situation • About God’s character • About the possibility for good • About their divine resources in Christ • About the nature and cause of the problem • About their language

  25. D. Give Hope • Be solution-oriented • Be an example to them

  26. Homework • Read chapters 10, 12, 13 • Memorize Romans 12:1-2 • Catch up with reading (if applicable) • If you have not already done so, identify and purchase your second book • Begin to apply what you’re learning to yourself

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