Creating space

1. Creating space Student Care Through The Lens of Hospitality

2. Hospitality Defined “…generous space for others in our midst, created for their benefit at our expense.” Tim Keel

3. Hospitality Reflection • Think of a story of hospitality that you’ve experienced. Write an overview of that story • How did you feel? • How was space created for you? • How were you changed/ affected? • What did someone give for your benefit?

4. Hospitality and Higher Education

5. Purpose of Higher Education “a constellation of encounters, both planned and unplanned, that promote growth through the acquisition of knowledge, skills, understanding and appreciation” Noddings, 2002

6. Culture of Higher Education

7. Fear

8. Fear of the Live Encounter “We collaborate with the structures of separation [in our institutions or with our students] because they promise to protect us against one of the deepest fears at the heart of being human – the fear of having a live encounter with alien ‘otherness,’ whether the other is a student, colleague, a subject, or a self-dissenting voice within… . We want those encounters on our own terms, so that we can control their outcomes, so that they will not threaten our view of world and self.” Palmer, 1998

9. Fear of the Live Encounter “Academic institutions offer myriad ways to protect ourselves from the threat of a live encounter. To avoid a live encounter with teachers, students can hide behind their notebooks and their silence. To avoid a live encounter with students, teachers can hid behind their podiums, their credentials, their power. To avoid a live encounter with one another, faculty can hide behind their academic specialities.” Palmer, 1998

10. Fear hinders hospitality.

11. Hospitality as a deeper knowing.

12. Transactional Relationships

13. Ethic of Care (Noddings, 2002) Carer Cared-for • “Attentive” • “Receptive” • Being impacted • “Motivational displacement” • “Recognized”

14. Defining Hospitality Creating space for others Generous space for others in our midst, created for their benefit at our expense

15. Creating Space • Cloister: time alone • Community: time with loved ones • Hospitality: time with the “other”

16. Balance • Cloister without community and hospitality is isolation. • Community without cloister and hospitality is comfort. • Hospitality without cloister and community is duty.

17. Creating Space • For self: past, experiences, prejudices • Thorough: hearts, minds, homes, offices, schedules

18. Radical Hospitality “Hospitality is the overflowing of a heart that has to share what it has received. It takes a whole person to open up, it takes a secure person to be available, it takes a strong person to give yourself away.” Homan & Pratt, 2002

19. Who is the other? • Grating personality • Different political views • Different religious views • No chemistry

20. Generous Space “What I believe is the basic impulse of hospitality: generous space for others in our midst, created for their benefit at our expense…” (Keel) What are the spaces you are in that can be more generous?

21. Generous Spaces Physical Space Office, classroom, home Space in schedule Create time for others Allow for Interruptions Set aside agendas Adapt to the needs of others

22. Generous Spaces continued • Emotional and Mental Space • Are your words hospitable? • Do you listen well? • Meet others where they are at “Listening is always involved in hospitality. The most gracious attempts we can muster are meaningless if we do not actually hear the stranger. Listening is the core meaning of hospitality. Its something we can give anyone and everyone, including ourselves. It takes only a few minutes to really listen.” (Homan & Pratt, 2002)

23. Both Internal and External • Internal • Are we prepared to welcome others, to listen, to be interrupted, and to be patient? • Why do we hold back? • What work do we need to do internally to be prepared to welcome others?

24. Both Internal and External Continued • External • Are our actions hospitable? • How do we welcome others into our space? • Body Language • Words • Physical Space

25. Hospitality- an idea that changes you “Hospitality, rather than being something you achieve, it is something you enter. It is an adventure that takes you where you never dreamed of going. It is not something you do, as much as it is someone you become. You try and you fail. You try again. You make room for one person at a time, you give one chance at a time, and each of these choices of the heart stretches your ability to receive others. This is how we grow more hospitable- by welcoming one person when the opportunity is given to you.” Homan & Pratt, 2002

26. Hospitality and Mutuality “If we desire the mutuality, trust and respect that are basic to the meaning of friendship, then we have to be very careful to resist seeing people primarily in terms of what they or we can offer or provide.” Huertz& Pohl, 2010

27. We can find mutuality with people who are different than us • “Mutuality does not come from everyone doing the same thing or making the same contributions. It comes from shared humility, respect and appreciation for the other person, and some sense of shared vision or purpose.” (Huertz & Pohl, 2010)

28. Mutuality continued • Learning from others • Less hierarchical • Embracing the other • Learning from the other • Mutual reverence (Homan & Pratt, 2002)

29. Hospitality and Vulnerability • Allowing someone to bring all of who they are into your interaction • Risking how someone will receive you • “I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean in to the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainity. Love, belonging, trust, joy and creativity to name a few. (Brown)

30. Vulnerability continued • Letting people into the imperfectness of home • Into a life lived out sincerely- not on a pedestal • Open-handed

31. Enemies of Hospitality • Suspicion • “Fear is at the core of suspicion” (Homan & Pratt, 2002) • Narcissism • “We make commodities of people, consuming them for our personal enrichment and happiness. It’s common in our culture. The other’s only purpose is what he or she can do for us. For many, the only thing that matters is what works for them. There is a kind of contempt in this utilitarian view of others.” (Homan & Pratt, 2002)

32. Stories of Hospitality

33. The Table “But someone has to make a meal happen. Someone must consider it important enough to give themselves to the work that goes into preparation. Setting a table and making ready for a meal involves preliminary thought and consideration for others. To do it right, you have to think through your guests’ preferences and history; you need to know if they have allergies or chronic illnesses. If you invite more than one guest you must consider which of them would enjoy sitting together and how they might relate. Preparing for another pulls us out of ourselves – that is one of the good gifts of hospitality.” Homan & Pratt, 2002

34. Tables in Our Daily Lives • Meetings with students • Meetings with colleagues • Board room • Meals • Who do we need to invite?