Listening The Secret Key to Successful Communication

1. Listening The Secret Key to Successful Communication Eugene B. KoganResearch Fellow John F. Kennedy School of Government Harvard University HKS Communications Program September 15, 2014

2. Why Is Listening Important? • Allows you to demonstrate respect • Enables you to avoid misunderstandings by getting your message across effectively • In sum, helps you build successful relationships Famous expression: You only see what you know. My favorite expression: How much you see depends on how much you think and listen. Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication

3. Interests vs. Positions Position:what the person says he/she wants Example: I need a microwave. Interest: the reason why the person wants this Example: I need to warm up my lasagna, which is why I need a microwave. (But I don’t really care how you warm up my lasagna, so an oven would work, too.) Active listening is an effort to go beyond immediate positions to uncover the speaker’s underlying interests. Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication

4. Active Listening: Basic “To Do” Principles • Think about what the other person is saying • Demonstrate with your body language that you care / are thinking about what the other person is saying • Askopen-ended questions about what the other person has said • Ask “why?” • Rephrase what the other person has said Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication

5. Exercise: Listening to Difficult Arguments Tell the person next to you about one thing you care deeply about (e.g., gay marriage, climate change, etc.). That person will make strong arguments against your beliefs. Your task: engage in active listening. Introduction to Negotiation

6. I Want to Listen to Your Feedback Eugene_Kogan@hks.harvard.edu Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication