Communication and Personal Identity

1. Chapter2 Communication and Personal Identity

2. Topics • What Is the Self? • Presenting and Negotiating Identity • Social Media and Personal Identity • Guidelines for Enriching the Self

3. After studying • Name forms of communication that shape self-concept. • Recognize examples of face presentation in a particular interaction. • Identify identities that social media idealize

4. Checking posts • was just selected to be the sports editor for the school paper • friends surprised her with a birthday party • she is having a super vacation in the Bahamas

5. Checking posts “Why is mylife so dull?” • “I’m not having a great vacation; • my friends don’tsurprise me on my birthday; • I wasn’t selected to be editor or anything else.”

6. Most people choose to presentthemselves positively online. They announce their accomplishments andpost about the good, exciting things happening in their lives. • They are lesslikely to comment on boredom and unhappy aspects of their lives.

7. questions • Who are you? • How did you develop your identity? • What choices do you make about theidentity, or identities, that you present to others, both face to face and online? • How can you improve your self-concept?

8. Review your own postings and tweets over the past week. How many of them are about you? How many of them exaggerate the positivity of your life?

9. The Self In some societies, the self does not start at birth • The Arunta people of Central Australia regarda prematureinfant as a nonperson, an animal that mistakenly has entered the body ofthe pregnant woman.

10. InGhana, a newborn is a nonperson untilit has lived for 7 days. Ifthe child doesn’t live that long,membersof thesocietybelieve that it was a spirit child, not ahumanbeing.

11. In Western culture, we believe that a person exists atbirth, but what is the self that exists?

12. The Self • arisesin communicationand is a multidimensional process of internalizing and acting from social perspectives

13. The Self Arises in Communicationwith Others Babies aren’t born with clear understandings of who they are. Instead, we develop a self in the process of communicating with others. Interaction with others usually begins in the family as we learn how our parents, siblings, and other relatives view us. Later, as we interact with peers and teachers, we gain additional perspectives on ourselves.

14. Still later, when we take jobs, we learn how coworkers, supervisors, customers, and clients see us as employees. We also tune in to media, which giveus additional perspectives on ourselves and where we fit in the social world. Weinternalize many of the perspectives on our identity, and they become part of whowe are and how we see ourselves.

15. Arises in communication with others • by internalizing two kinds of perspectives that are communicated to us: - Perspective of particular others - Perspective of the generalized other

16. Particular Others • For infants and children, particularothersusually include family members and caregivers. Later in life, particularothersincludepeers, teachers, friends, coaches, romantic partners, coworkers, andother individuals who are especially important in our lives. As babies interact withparticularothers in their world, they learn how others see them. This is the beginningof a self-concept. • Notice that the self starts from outside—with particularothers’ views of and communication with us.

17. Family members and other individuals who matter to us communicate theirviews of us through direct definitions, reflected appraisals, scripts, and attachmentstyles. If parents communicate to children that they are special and cherished, thechildren are likely to see themselves as worthy of love. • On the other hand, childrenwhose parents communicate that they are not wanted or loved may come to thinkof themselves as unlovable.

18. Particular Others • Direct definition • Reflected appraisal • Self-fulfilling prophecies • Social comparison • Identity scripts • Attachment styles

19. direct definition is communicationthat tells us explicitly who we are by labeling us and our behaviors. Family members,as well as peers, teachers, and other individuals, define us by telling us whowe are or are expected to be. • Positive direct definitions enhance our self-esteem:“You’re smart,” “You’re strong,” “You’re great at soccer.” • Negative direct definitionscan damage children’s self-esteem: “You’retroublemaker,” “You’re stupid,” “You’reimpossible.” Negative messages can demolish a child’s sense of self-worth. Emotionalabuse is justas damaging as other forms of abuse.

20. reflected appraisal • is our perception of another’s viewof us. How we think others appraise us affects how we see ourselves. • Others are mirrors for us—the views of ourselves that we see in them (our mirrors) influence how we perceiveourselves.

21. One particularly powerful way in which direct definitions and reflected appraisals can affect our self-concept is through self-fulfilling prophecies, whichoccur when we internalize others’ expectations or judgments about us and thenbehave in ways that are consistent with those expectations and judgments.

22. Did your parents ever look disappointed whenyou acted a certain way? • Did they ever smile with pride when you did something they valued?

23. Social comparison is the process of assessing ourselvesin relation to others to form judgments of our own talents, abilities, qualities… • First, we compare ourselves with others to decide whether we are like them ordifferent from them. • Are we the same sex, age, color, religion? • Do we like the samemusic? • Do we have similar backgrounds? Assessing similarity and difference allowsus to decide with whom we fit. Research shows that most people are more comfortablewith others who are like them. • Second, we use social comparison to measure ourselves and our abilities in relationto others. • Am I as good a guard as Hendrick? • Do I play the guitar as well asChris? • Am I as smart as Serena? • Am I as attractive as Leigh? • Do we have as manyfriends as others on Facebook? Comparing ourselves to others is normal, and ithelps us develope realistic self-concepts.

24. Reflected appraisals and direct definitions are not confined to childhood butcontinue throughout our lives. Teachers who communicate that students are talentedin a particular area encourage the students to see themselves that way. Later,as you enter professional life, you will encounter coworkers and bosses who reflecttheir appraisals of you: You’re on the fast track, average, or not suited to your position. The appraisals of us that others communicate shape our sense of ourselves

25. self-fulfilling prophecies One particularly powerful way in which direct definitions and reflected appraisalscan affect our self-concept is through self-fulfilling prophecies, whichoccur when we internalize others’ expectations or judgments about us and thenbehave in ways that are consistent with those expectations and judgments. If you have done poorly in classes where teachers didn’t seem torespect you, and you have done well with teachers who thought you were smart,then you know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is. The prophecies we act to fulfillusually are first communicated by others. However, because we internalize others’perspectives, we may allow their definitions and prophecies for us to becomeour own.

26. Many of us believe things about ourselves that are inaccurate. Sometimes, labelsthat were once true aren’t any longer, but we continue to believe them.

27. ıdentity scripts • Particular others also influence our identity by providingidentity scripts, which are rules for living and identity. • Like the scripts for plays, identity scripts define our roles, how we are to play them,and the basic elements in the plots of our lives.

28. Think back to your childhood. • Didyou hear any of these scripts from family members: “We are responsible people,”“Our family always helps those in need,” “A good education is the key to success,”“Look out for number one,” or “Live by God’s word”? These are examples of identityscripts people learn in families.

29. Many psychologists believe that the basic identity scripts for our lives areformed very early, probably by age 5.

30. attachment styles • Patterns of caregiving that teach us who we and others are and how to approach relationships • Secure • Fearful • Dismissive • Anxious/ambivalent

31. The Generalized Other • The views generally held by others in society(Every society and social group has values, experiences,and understandings that are widely shared among members but may not beendorsed by those outside of the culture or group)

32. Race • Culture • Gender • Sexual orientation • Socioeconomic class

33. How Are Perspectives of the Generalized Other Revealed to Us? • We learn them as we interact with others, who have internalized cultural values and pass them on to us • We learn them through media and institutions that reflect cultural values • The institutions that organize our society communicate them by the values they uphold

34. Other Perspectives of Self • The self is multidimensional • The self is a process • Social perspectives are subject to change • Socially constructed views • Variable social views

35. Guidelines for Improving Self-Concept • Make a firm commitment to personal growth • Gain and use knowledge to support personal growth • You need to understand how your self-concept is formed • You need information about yourself • Self-disclosure

36. Johari Window Johari Window: • Open area • Blind area • Hidden area • Unknown area

37. Guidelines for Improving Self-Concept • Set goals that are realistic and fair(Self-Disclose when Appropriate/Risks of Self-Disclosure) • Seek contexts that support personal change • Avoid self-sabotage

38. a. List five words that describe how yousee yourself. (Examples: responsible, ambitious, introverted, clumsy, funny, intelligent, shy, athletic) b. Next, identify the particular people who havebeen and are especially significant in your life. Tryto think of at least five people who matter to you.

39. c. Now, think about how these special peoplecommunicate with you about the traits you listedin step a. How did they express their appraisals ofwhat you defined as important parts of yourself? Words to Describe You How Others Communicate This to You ------------------------ ------------------------ ------------------------ ------------------------

40. The blindarea contains information that others know about us but we don't know about ourselves Hiddeninformation is what we know about ourselves but choose not to reveal to most others. Open information is known both to us and to others. Your name, height, major, and tastes in music probably are open information that you share easily with others. • 26. The ____ area is made up of information about ourselves that neither we nor others know. • a. blind • b. open • c. hidden • d. known • e. unknown • ANS: E PTS: 1 REF: p. 54 • 27. According to your text, the author states that it is important to gain access to information in our blind and ____ areas • a. blind • b. open • c. hidden • d. known • e. unknown • ANS: E PTS: 1 REF: p. 54

41. The unknownarea is made up of information about ourselves that neither we nor others know. According to your text, the author states that it is important to gain access to information in our blind andunknownareas.